So now that you’ve read a little about queer identity (how did that go for you?) (what? You didn’t read it? Go read the post right before this. Now. Go!), I think you’ve earned a moment of queer hilarity. So, my friends, I offer you up, as a very queer gesture, “The Shocker.”
A hand gesture known by queer people and frat boys alike, I have been told by countless reliable sources that The Shocker made up a decent part of their queer upbringing, their early queer years where sometimes, a hand gesture was all you had in the way of a sexual repertoire. I am claiming this awesome handy hand trick for queers everywhere because, if it wasn’t obvious before, I’m going to spell it out: Not all of us have protruding members, sometimes our hands are our penetrative implements and we queers are known for being good with our hands. Well, a lot of us anyway. But! Lest you feel concerned that I am cornering the market and cutting your off if you don’t feel queer, fear not, The Shocker is public domain and I am ultimately an equal opportunity sex educator. So here now, is the guide to shocking with The Shocker.
Take your hand. Either works. I am right handed.
Hold your hand upright with your palm toward your face.
Bend your ring finger downward toward you. You should be looking at the nail on your ring finger.
Move your thumb inward to rest on top of the nail of your ring finger. You should now be holding that finger firmly down.
You will now notice that you have two fingers together on the right side of your hand (your first and middle fingers) and one on the left (your pinkie). This will be the exact opposite if you are using your left hand. There now, look! You have done it!
You are now visually able to see why this gesture is also referred to as “Two in the pink, one in the stink.” Insert smiley face here.
Now friend, you are ready to Shock. Insert fingers at will! Into willing and desirous partners only, please and thank you! The “common” use for The Shocker is for vaginas and butts, two for the vagina, one for the anus but I really feel that the shocker can shock a variety of parts in a variety of ways. I also, came across this dandy image (above) that provides multiple variations on The Shocker so please, explore and use your hand to expand The Shocker family in your life.
I hope this has been helpful and brought you more into my perverted queer world (it’s a rabbit hole, you’re never leaving). Also, this one time I may have dressed up as The Shocker for Halloween. Proof because it did happen. XXO
[This post is a part of Fleshbot's Dylan Ryan Week.]