Only in Florida: A Helping Hand

January 12, 2018 | Posted in Editorial Features by jack-blackbush

When You've Got the Urge...

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

We've all had the urge to rub one out, to jerk it, to pat the bunny, to stuff the sock, to take a solo trip to O-Town, and there is nothing wrong with that. But when it comes to masturbating, there is time and a place for everything. Granted, some people do enjoy self-pleasure in public, but one does need to be very careful about when, where, and how. And most importantly, one needs to remember that masturbation is a one-person job. For Florida resident Nicole Shankster, she seemed to forget all the rules.

As Miss Shanskter was waiting for a bus and enjoying a little vodka she decided to please herself. When a motorist noticed Miss Shankster, as they put it, "simulating sex acts," they called the local authorities. Since the bus didn't arrive quick enough a Clearwater police arrived to "handle" the situation.

It would seem that Miss Shanskter's desire was too strong at the point and nothing was going to stop her from completing what she said. According to the arresting officer, "she did intentionally sexually satisfy herself on my left arm and lick my right arm.”

Didn't know arm licking was a thing, but whatever works for you I guess. So, I guess from now on we'll call satisfying yourself on someone's arm while licking the other "Shansktering".

via the smoking gun

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