Only in Florida: That's No Mermaid

August 21, 2017 | Posted in Editorial Features by jack-blackbush

Don't Play Mermaid If You Don't Want to Get Reeled In

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

The Mermaid is the mythical half woman, half fish creator that has popped up in folklore all over the world. Sometimes the mermaid is on the side of good, saving shipwreck sailors, and other times the mermaid is evil, driving men to their doom. And while we can have an endless debate about why someone would want to be a creature that is top half woman and bottom half fish, nevertheless the mermaid has continued to be part of our culture. One Florida man may have believed for a moment that he caught a mermaid on his fishing pole, but it turned out to be a drunk woman in a bikini.

Miss Alexandria Turner decided to play mermaid to Robert Gonzales as he fished off a pier. Miss Turner bit his line and then pretend to be a mermaid, I assume. Mr. Gonzales found very little pleasure in this, but that might have been because he was renting the fishing pole and waited to get his security deposit back. Not surprisingly Mr. Gonzales and Miss Turner got into a shouting match, with Miss Turner seeming to have the upper hand. When police arrived, the mermaid Miss Turner was a little more upset and began screaming:

“I am fucking naked!”

Now, had been a real mermaid, like Daryl Hannah in Splash (1984) she might have actually been naked. Sadly, Miss Turner was not a real mermaid and went to jail instead. I wonder how the story will go when Mr. Gonzalez tells the tale of the time he caught a drunk Florida woman while fishing. I bet she gets drunker with every telling.

via Yahoo News

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