Only in Florida: Naked Swan Thief

May 31, 2017 | Posted in Editorial Features by jack-blackbush

What's With the Bucket?

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

Being a thief must be hard enough, but being an art thief has to be the most challenging of all. The market is very small for stolen art and the risk is so very high. Yet, there are some people out there who simply must take beautiful works of art. From what we've learned from movies and television, being an art thief takes planning, skill, and perfect time. In the case one art thief, apparently the only think it took to steal at $25,000 Swan sculpture was to be nude.

Now, I feel I should mention I'm unsure if the Swan or the truck the Swan was stored in was the actual target, but it is one hell of a beautiful swan, if you are into swans.

The Polk County Sheriffs are a little shocked by this case, since they already identified the man, but have yet to find the swan.

The Sheriff's Office released video surveillance that officers believe sheds light on the heist. It shows the naked man, whom deputies identified as Ronald Thompson, walking into the Lakeland Cold Storage at 4100 Frontage Road S during the early morning hours of May 19.

In one video, the man is seen carrying a bucket in front of his genitals as he approaches the storage facility. A second video snippet a short while later then shows a pickup driving away.

Of course, I'm left with one question: what was the bucket for? I mean, you're a naked thief, why do you need the bucket? Is just to carry things? It can't be because you're feeling modest, you're nude. Also, it's cold storage, wouldn't you want to wear a coat to steal a swan? This whole case is a mystery to me, but I'm sure it makes perfect sense in Florida.

via Tampa Bay Times

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