Only in Florida: The Great Panty Raid

May 10, 2017 | Posted in Editorial Features by jack-blackbush

The Panty Raid to End All Panty Raids

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

D.B. Cooper, The Gardner Museum Heist, and what happened to Jimmy Hoffa are just a few of the greatest unsolved mysteries of our time. Countless hours have been spent by various law enforcement agencies and amateur detectives alike in the hopes of solving these great crimes. These unsolved crimes are woven into society as they continue to frustrate and fascinate us. And now a new crime, a new mystery is upon us that will forever haunt us: a master thief has stolen 200 panties from a Florida Victoria's Secret. 

Yes, it would seem this criminal mastermind managed to get in, get the thongs, and get out without anyone noticing. Yes, whoever is behind this dastardly deed truly is a master of stealth and cunning. The manager and police were both stunning and baffled by the crime.

The manager of the Vero Beach store told deputies that someone entered the store and stole the merchandise during a 10-minute period.

The items sell for $10.50 each. The total value of the merchandise is approximate $2,100.00.

The manager was walking around the store and noticed some of the drawers on the display case were left open.

Even though police are still investigating, there is no word if the FBI has been called in. And even if they were, not doubt this great thief is long gone, living on some remote island enjoying their 200 pairs of “Body by Victoria” thongs. You win this, Master Panty Raid, you win this time.

Though, I wonder if anyone questioned these guys:


via Sebastian Daily

Tagged in: only in florida , panties , sex culture , thongs , victoria's secret ,