Only in Florida: May I Have Your Attention Please

February 21, 2017 | Posted in Editorial Features by jack-blackbush

Next Time Try a Wave and Nice Smile

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

We've all had that a moment when you see someone, someone who you can't take your eyes off of. Maybe they are across a crowded room, walking down the other side of the street, or even in the car next to you, and you only wish there was a way for the two of you to meet, but there are so many obstacles between you and them. Well, if you are Florida resident Howard Van Sweringen when you see the woman of your dreams, you don't let anything stand in your way. 

It would seem that Mr. Van Sweringen saw his dream woman, Kristina Fuller, as she dropped her child off at high school. Mr. Van Sweringen was so taken, he did what any of us would, block traffic to make easier for this love to leave the school drop-off. 

“This man, who I never saw before in the car line, cuts in front of the school buses, blocking everything, just so I could get out, so I waved and thanked him,” Fuller said. 

Sadly, Mr. Van Sweringen didn't get what he wanted. So he continued to follow his heart by following her car. Every turn she took, he took. Then when stopped at a red light, Mr. Van Sweringen did what any normal person with a crush someone would do, he gave her a gift and some love taps.

“He got out of his vehicle, came up to my window and threw his dog on me. I thought it was going to bite me or something so I tossed the dog back at him. He got back in his vehicle and started hitting my truck, trying to push it into the intersection,” Fuller said.

For some reason, Miss Fuller wasn't appreciating all of the kind gestures, but that didn't mean Mr. Van Sweringen was going to give up. This was love and when you are in love you do stupid, crazy, and illegal things. 

“I was trying to get away. He kept coming up beside me, trying to run me off the road. At one point I made a u-turn. He jumped over the median, blocked three lanes of traffic just to get behind me again,” Fuller said.

When Miss Fuller returned to the school the school's Police Officer was there and took Mr. Van Sweringen into custody. At first he claimed that he and Miss Fuller were friends, but soon admitted that he didn't know her, but that saw her and "thought she was pretty and wanted to talk to her at any cost." Mr. Van Swerigen is now facing aggravated battery for ramming the woman’s truck, trespassing on school property, and having a broken heart... Hey, we all know that old saying: "Nothing gets to a woman's heart faster than ramming her car off the road." Yes, love is a crazy, crazy thing.

The dog was unharmed.


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