Only in Florida: Naked Man Sullies Several Pet Beds In CVS

In my new weekly column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

This week, we're headed to Pasco County, just north of Tampa, for a story about a naked man, a CVS, and several pet beds. 

Meet 22-year old Jeremiah Patterson, a man who found himself nude inside a CVS and did what anyone who finds themselves nude in a CVS would do...

Patterson entered the CVS Pharmacy in Lutz Tuesday and walked to the men's room at the store, then allegedly took off all of his clothes, according to a police report by the Pasco County Sheriff's Office obtained by The Smoking Gun.

With his genitals fully exposed, the naked suspect then exited the restroom and walked to the pet aisle. He started rummaging through six dog beds, police said.

After finding three that were suitable to him, he brought them back to the bathroom and dropped them on the floor. He then lay on top of the pet cushions.

That's when officers discovered him and arrested him.

The store noted to police it could no longer sell the sullied merchandise.

I spent 11 years working retail and I must say that the most surprising part of this entire story is that the store isn't going to sell those three pet beds. Shit, you mark 'em 20% off and I know people are still gonna buy 'em. This is Florida, people. 

Via NY Daily News