Doll With Penis Causes Epic Internet Freakout

There really is nothing on earth quite as awesome as seeing people freak out over nothing. It's one of the few joys I get from trolling the internet all day. Today's story comes from the "Won't Someone Think Of The Children" file, and it's a doozy.

According to The Huffington Post (link below), a bunch of "rattled citizens" are in the midst of a full-on, grand mal epileptic freak the fuck out over a baby doll sold at Toys R Us that features a *gasp* baby penis. Comments from one New Jersey mother perfectly summed up what's wrong with parents.

"When she went to change his diaper, this was the surprise.. Why?? These r little girls that don't need to know the anatomy," she commented.

This might be what George W. Bush had in mind when he posited the age old question, "How is our children learning?" One writer urged common sense, however, which we all know is hardly common.

Writer Monica Beyer of SheKnows.com, however, doesn't see a problem. "How on earth is it inappropriate for a child to see a naked baby? What about a baby makes a penis or a vulva dirty or sexual?" Beyer writes. "Because that's what it sounds like when people say that it's wrong for little girls to see it. The truth is, when a child points out the body part that she doesn't have, all a parent is required to do is call it by its name."

Talk to their children? Jesus Christ, now we're talking about radical parenting. There's barely enough time in the day for that kind of hands-on parenting. The most disappointing thing about this whole story is that the freak-out came to us courtesy of the state that bore me. Come on New Jersey, you're supposed to be cool, at least in the way that Billy Carter was cooler than Jimmy Carter.

Via The Huffington Post