Kelly Shibari Becomes First Plus Size Model to Cover ‘Penthouse Forum’

BBW superstar Kelly Shibari will grace the cover of Penthouse Forum's June 2014 issue with an interview and an editorial feature titled, "Suck It, Vogue"

Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought I'd be writing a letter to you. In fact, I always thought the stuff in your magazine was made up! But one day, my fantasy became flesh and it fell into my hot, grabbing hands, so I'm getting it all down to share with other readers.

Believe me: wet, sweaty, sticky dreams do come true! If you're like me and you've long lusted to see an ample proportioned porn hottie on the cover of Penthouse Forum—well, at long last our yearnings for the large and lovely have been answered.

Asian BBW superstar Kelly Shibari will appear on the cover of the June 2014 issue of Penthouse Forum, the first plus-sized mega-vixen to ever tackle that top honor.

It hardly seemed possible. I've been a fawning, foaming fan of Kelly ever since her 2007 bust-out in the interactive Score DVD Plush Control and her superstar-making turn (on) as the titular figure (and what a figure!) in Roseanne: The XXX Parody—along with every other luscious inch and pulsating pound of her broad body of work ever since, including the Kelly Shibari Fleshlight!

As if to hammer home the momentous occasion of Kelly's towering top-spot unveiling, Penthouse Forum editor Eric Danville announced:

"Penthouse Forum has traditionally been about exploring human sexuality in all its forms. When the time came to choose someone who had a compelling story, which also addresses important issues, the first person I thought of was Kelly Shibari. When the piece finally came together, putting her on the cover was a no-brainer."

Then as my eyeball affair with Kelly really approached grease-fire status, the magazine's editorial page upped the heat from voluptuous to volcanic by declaring:

Suck it, Vogue! With this issue, Penthouse Forum breaks with a long-held tradition in the mainstream adult magazine field. We're not trying to be politically correct. We're not doing this to ‘prove a point.' And we're sure as shit not doing this to assert, as some second-generation, post-modern feminists do, that ‘this is what a real woman looks like.' We're shining the spotlight on Kelly Shibari to show that we love women of all shapes, sizes, and colors — just like our readers!"

I dove deep into Kelly's copious curvature, imagined pinching and squeezing and nibbling and running my tongue from peak to peak and crease to crease.

That's when Sarah Deming's interview with Kelly kicked in:

"Kelly is real," Deming writes. "She can cure you of skinny starlets with predatory eyes … She doesn't tweet about what a hot, horny slut she is. She tweets about beer and barbeque, travel and art … [and] if you tweet at her, she'll tweet back — but you had better be a gentleman about it."

Deming continues, "Kelly isn't doing [porn] to be political. You probably won't even notice that you're learning. After a few hours with her, you'll simply feel better about your own body and the bodies of others."

Finally, as I neared the mammoth apex of my maniacal worship of Kelly's wonders, the half-Japanese, half-Irish, all-goddess embodiment of bodaciously bigger-than-life arousal launched me into the ultimate BBW Big O.

"What an incredible, amazing honor," Shibari said of the cover. "This really has been a whirlwind of a year, and to have such an iconic magazine feature me as their first-ever plus-size model simply takes my breath away. I have read many, many issues of ‘Penthouse Forum' as my masturbatory inspiration for decades, and as a full-figured woman, I thought I would never see someone like me featured. To now see me inside those pages — and on the cover — is … well, it really is just the best thing ever."

Penthouse Forum—as I wrote earlier, I never imagined in a million years or dozen cup-sizes that such bombastic bliss could be possible. Let's do it again and, of course, with Kelly. But how about also with April Flores? And Scarlet LaVey? And Marilyn Mayson? And… I've got to go!

Yours in Shibari,

McBeardo

P.S.--All you Kelly Shibari and other BBW devotees should please pre-order my upcoming book Heavy Metal Movies. It's even got "heavy" in the title!