In Which The Creepy Uncle Wins: “Friends And Family 3”

When's the last time a porn movie actually followed through with a Creepy Uncle story? "Friends And Family 3" does, but everything else is only sort of incestuous.

Friends & Family 3

Studio: Smash Pictures
Director: Jim Powers
Starring: India Summers, Evan Stone, Veronica Avluv, Eric Swiss, Jaslene Jade, Chloe Kush, Molly Bennett, Mandy Armani, Alec Knight, Logan Pierce, Rick Garcia

Review by Gram Ponante

The Stones and the Smiths are intimately connected. One family's daughters are dating the other family's sons, and vice versa. Then there's the dad having a threesome with his son and his son's girlfriend, or the Stone parents double-teaming their neighbor's daughter. And don't forget the uncle.

It's a liberal family. Mom India Summer and Dad Evan Stone (and granddad Rick Garcia, one of our favorite porn photographers) talk disparagingly of the sluttitude of Mrs. Stone, the mom (Veronica Avluv) of the siblings their own kids are dating. In an earlier scene we watch Avluv's husband (Eric Swiss in an excellent bit of typecasting) fantasizing about Mandy Armani, and we can't blame him.

But lest you think this movie is going to get all envelope-pushing like Kirdy Stevens' "Taboo" series, remember that these people have no pubic hair, so it doesn't count.

Jim Powers directs about a thousand movies a year, mostly shock-and-awe porn for JM Productions. That is why it is interesting to see his work for Smash. Usually when you see a bunch of porn performers around a dinner table in a Powers movie, they are dangerous loners jerking off on some pinioned, writhing thing who will shortly be on the next bus back home.

But in this movie, they're actually eating dinner.

If there's a script for a porn movie, most performers are lucky to get it more than an hour before they're expected to shoot it. That is why one thoughtful way to avoid on-screen awkwardness is to use the performers' names for their characters.

It works until someone like the sophisticated and regal India Summer is cast as someone's mother, and you just know she would never have a child to whom she'd have to say: "Jaslene, where's your sister?"

"Jaslene."

But despite her eyeroll of a porn name, we totally buy how Jaslene Jade lures her uncle into a Sex Offender Registry situation.

And if what we know about creampies is true, in 18 years there's gonna be a sequel.

· Smash Pictures (smashpictures.com)
· Buy "Friends & Family 3" (tlavideo.com)