It’s Always “103 Degrees In South Central”

...even if South Central is now officially known as "South Los Angeles," almost-incomprehensible but charming mack daddy Flash Brown still does what he can to keep it real from the passenger side of his best friend's ride.

In seven scenes unevenly helmed by three directors, "103 Degrees" establishes Mr. Brown as a complex character.

A jilted suitor, he asks busty Sara Jay why she be hanging around with all those Hos down the block.

"What, you don't like dick no more?" he says.

A considerate husband, he services Anjanette Astoria after a night on the town, like a big-dicked version of Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight." The contortionist (and famous stripper) Astoria later licks his come off her own feet.

A "Friday"-style slacker, he lets Kendra Secrets blow him. Why? Because it's Kendra Secrerts and she's there.

A hot commodity, he agrees to join Naomi Banxxx's pickup basketball team (which she runs with her unseen husband) on one, 11-inch condition.

A concerned neighbor, he fucks Stacie Lane because...I don't know: I think because she's fucking gorgeous and because she can't understand what he is saying to her.

And wouldn't you fuck Sienna West if presented the opportunity?

Finally, in the only scene that actually refers to the title but that also casts Mr. Brown in a bad light, he rolls up on petite hash ho Jayla Starr in a Cadillac, promising her (twice, because even in character she finds it difficult to understand him) not only that he has some good weed at home, but that he is "respectful."

So what does he do? After then telling Starr that she must pay for the marijuana (I rewinded and a payment was not in the pitch he used to get her in the car), he suggests she fuck him for it ("That must be some good-ass weed," she remarks) and, after she does, he doesn't hand it over.

(You can tell this is not an Adam & Eve movie, as trading sex for drugs is something that company doesn't acknowledge the existence of.)

"This is bullshit," she says.

I would not do that to you, Jayla Starr. Is it because I drive my own Honda?

Regardless, Flash Brown knows how to pick them. And even if the accompanying rap soundtrack boasts that he goes "harder than Lexington Steele," we wish him the best of luck.

· Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
· Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)

Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)

Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)
Anjanette Astoria (anjanetteastoria.com)
Flash Brown (flashbrownproductions.com)