I know there has been a lot of news about Russian recently, but I can't believe no one is talking about this. A zoo in Moscow is suing the advertising company Art-Msk after they rented a raccoon, used it in an ad featuring a topless woman, and returned the raccoon in a state of shock. Seriously, in Russia, you can rent a raccoon from the zoo.
We don't even know what to believe anymore. If Rosie Jones and Nicole Neal go on vacation, who's to say they won't take their tops off and have a playful afternoon in their private courtyard? Somehow, we believe the authenticity of this moment more because they're using bug spray on each other instead of sun lotion. We're not fully convinced though. We also don't entirely know what the term "crab" means in this usage.
Hitting on people by the pool seems like a sensible thing to do, right? Everybody's out there with their fleshy parts, getting wet, being physical n' shit, so if there's a time for lingering glances to develop into something more, that must be it. Still, it can be a quagmire of awkward interactions, so bikini-aficionado Melissa Debling is here to give you some help!
Oh, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge just had a baby? Whatever: another privileged kid enters the world. Meanwhile, there's a hot blonde adult getting her topless debut in Zoo, and her name is Kaylee Sayers, and we're all about her. Down with the monarchy, up with the mammaries.
In a word: negatively. This stunning young woman isn't just a glamour model, she's a graduate of a horse racing college that's enabled her to work in any job on the race yard--and she's going into a program that will put her in charge of the entire yard. Could she be a rider herself? "I do need a pretty strong sports bra! These 32Es need to be kept in check!"
Jessica Kingham's theory is that she can pound Jaeger bombs left and right because all of the alcohol goes to her breasts. What does science have to say about that? How does fatty tissue affect booze in the bloodstream? We asked a scientist for help, but she couldn't stop staring at Jessica's Jaegermeister-infused boobs.
Didn't we just see a "Big Brother" special yesterday? Strange. And thus, with Zoo saying to Nuts, "Anything you can do, I can do boober," we've quickened the collapse of "Big Brother" and the lad's mag industry into one conglomeration of cameras, titties, and funny British terms like "snog."
The answer: with trial and error. For example, Alice says they make it difficult to turn all the way around in her car to see out the rear window, and because of this, she once smashed her back fender and trunk up. Alice also mentioned that she tends to walk around grabbing her boobs all the time, so there's clearly a balanced cost/benefit involved with such big breasts.
Jodie Marsh is an undeniable bombshell, and we've been familiar with her work for quite some time, but we've never felt closer to her than we do now. "I've been celibate for the best part of two years now," she tells Zoo, adding with no shame, "and my dildo is totally worn out." Girl, tell us all about it.
Well this sure is refreshing. Instead of being interviewed about holidays and sports and that nonsense, Zoo lets Melissa and Daisy duke it out with a series of their raunchiest sex stories! Sex in a tent, while driving, in a field, and even in a sand bunker on a golf course: these girls are dirty and willing to dish them deets.
Is it fair to say they discovered her? It depends how you feel about Christopher Columbus. Nabilla Benattia is a Swiss model and very popular personality on French reality TV. At least Zoo is quick to admit their tardiness to the party: "We've scouted the world for a new Kim Kardashian--but it turns out we should've just hopped on a cross-channel ferry..."
Mmhmm, guess you thought Nuts had it all wrapped up with the World's 100 Best Boobs, huh? Wrong. Here comes Zoo with a list of the hottest women in the world--not body part specific or nothing like that--and they have one more woman than Nuts does. Shit is about to get so real on magazine stands around England.
First of all, we thought Peta Todd retired from the lad's mag game. When did she come back? How did we miss it? We would've thrown a party or at least bought shots in her honor. Anyhow, gift horse, mouth, etc; what's important is that she's here and she's sharing the 100 Rudest Film Moments with us. Don't forget: rude is good!
Yes, Melissa Debling has great breasts. She is "very booby." But you know what else she has? A pretty face. Why don't we say she's "very facey" or "totally faced-out" or "visagerific"? We can do this all day. Don't even get us started on her shapely elbows.
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