Look, when you have to check your legs, you have to check your legs, even if you’re on the red carpet at Cannes! We can’t fault Eva Longoria for anything. Perhaps she should’ve ran a quick mental checklist on her outfit, but she probably had a lot on her mind! She certainly doesn’t have a lot on her crotch.

Honestly, the composition of this image is just so captivating! It feels like it’s missing a little something, but it’s eerie and the way the light plays over her hair and dress and skin is damn moody. And then: panties! Win-win, nahmean?

We dig the vibe you’re going for here, Vanessa. We’re not sure if this is your all-around steez now, how you dress for all concerts, or merely how you dress to see the Rolling Stones, but this look works for you in a lot of ways. The skirt, however, doesn’t seem to function properly. Unless we don’t understand how skirts are supposed to work.

It seems Abbey Lee Kershaw wasn’t the only one keeping it punk at the recent Met Gala. Sarah Jessica Parker went all out with a mohawk-style crest, a huge gown, plaid boots, and well, her panties.

What do we know about Julianne Hough? We know that she keeps her smut well hidden; she was hacked by the Anonymous offshoot dedicated to digging through celebrity dirt, and all that came out were some cleavage-rich pics. We also know she used to date Ryan Seacrest, and she supported Romney in the last election. And now we know she has nice panties!

And here we were, thinking that it’s about to be warm outside and we should go buy some overalls/romper type things to keep our legs cool, when Xenia Deli shows us that she already thought of that and it’s possible that such attire will cause your labia to be visible. We’re a little bummed! We kind of wanted to discover that for ourselves.

We’ve always doubted whether or not diamonds are actually forever, but we’ve always been certain that Molly Ringwald is eternally a babe. Case in point, here she is reading from her new book, “When It Happens to You,” and accidentally exposing her lacy panties to a crowd that happens to be beneath her at crotch level.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen any skin from Helen Flanagan, but damn, when she delivers, she does so in abundance. Cleavage, thighs, and a little panty peek! Some people think the peek is an inferior version of a bonafide upskirt, but we think those folks don’t appreciate the joys of pushing your eyeballs down the orthogonal plane, past Helen’s fantastic legs, and spying the lacy pattern beneath.

Taylor Momsen looks quite cute here, but perhaps we’re only saying that because she’s more clothed than usual. Actually, no, the reason we think she looks extra foxy is because she looks like an extra on the set of “Buffy” waiting to do something in the background of a pep rally. Yeah, that’s our fetish.

Hasn’t anyone ever told Miley not to throw asses on glass balconies? It seems like celebrities forget this all the time (and we forget how many times we’ve used Shakespeare and glass house jokes). Anyhow, Miley gets a pass because she was also spotted smoking a, uh, hand-rolled cigarette between her thumb and forefinger. You know, like people do.

There’s nothing that gives us the warm fuzzies like the sight of old friends running into each other. Well, except for panty flashing from Layla Flaherty; the “Desperate Scousewives” star is notorious for her unabashed underwear enthusiasm, and we happy to see her multi-tasking in such a positive way. There’s no doubt about it: Layla had a very good night.

Now, an upskirt is an upskirt is an upskirt, but a spanx upskirt is somethin special indeed. Come to think of it, we’re not sure why we don’t see more of these. Maybe it’s because most celebrities are so skinny they haven’t got any lovin’ to contain with specially designed control shorts. Not Khloe! She’s got plenty of junk to be held in shape and we love her for it.

When we looked up Nabilla Benattia, all we could find was something that said, “Nabilla Benattia is a Big Breasted Nobody.”
Now listen. If having big breasts and being on the Fleshbot radar enough that we would feature you in our exclusive upskirt club doesn’t make you a somebody, then we don’t know what does. So here’s to Nabilla Benattia: A Big Breasted Somebody!

Ladies and germs, this is not your average every day upskirt. Behind those cream colored panties is the creamy pussy of Eva Mendes, one of god’s most generous gifts to humankind. Just the thought of it makes us faint with passion.

Yeah, Cheryl, tell us! Or are you not wearing panties at all? Perhaps we’re not looking up Cheryl Cole’s skirt, we’re looking at a 3D representation of Cheryl Cole that the real Cheryl Cole sends out for publicity purposes, and all we’re seeing is the black void of empty graphics that was never properly rendered. (We need to stop watching “The Matrix.”)

Explanatory scenario 1: “Una dear?” queried Mrs. Healy. “How does one summon the paparazzi?” “Oh, it’s easy, mum. Watch me.” Explanatory scenario 2: “Hey, mom!” “Yes, Una?” “Check out this sweet knee tattoo I just got!”

This is what summer is like isn’t it? Gorgeous slender models writhing to Rapture while fans blow up their skirts to reveal their pink underthings! We love it when models dance! It’s nice to see them moving instead of just giving good face. It’s more helpful in imagining how they would move if they were in our bedrooms.

Courtney Stodden is kindof amazing. Could a picture more perfectly capture the glory of being famous for being a slut? Her arms flung open to embrace her public! Her pure white dress contrasted with her harlot lips and just a hint of harlot panties! Her luscious platinum extensions flowing every which way. It’s almost as if she planned it this way! It’s almost as if absolutely everything about her life was orchestrated to showcase her sluttiness. Almost.

While people like us look at Chelsie Hightower and see a “Dancing with the Stars” dancer wearing a long skirt, the wind looks at Chelsie Hightower and sees a human wearing a kite around her waist. The wind only wants to carry our kites high into the sky and make us happy! It definitely did not intend to show Chelsie’s ass to the cameras. At least, that’s what the wind’s PR people said.

Every now and then, we think we’re being really clever by making a joke with someone’s name that has to do with body parts or delicate clothing articles–such as pointing out the similarity between Underwood and underwear–and then it hits us that we’re using the same style of humor as fourth graders. Sara Underwood has probably heard that joke her whole damn life.