We felt the need to explicitly include “professional” in today’s Top Ten roundup because — well, we’re not saying amateurs can’t aspire to these moves, these consummate professional mannerisms, but… there’s a reason these ladies are the creamiest of the crop. Dexterous dick-wranglers, all, and we think everyone could stand to take a step back and watch the masters at work. Tori, Skin, Jasmine, Charley and pals — show us how it’s done.

It is nice that porn-watching can still be a journey of discovery.

Some may believe that humor and sex are mutually exclusive — but we think the two go hand in hand (or wherever the case may be) quite nicely. Parody porn may get us in a special way because at its outset, we’re taken into a world of lighthearted frivolity and jokes. But then it all gets subverted as perversity seeps in. Sometimes dipping your toes in the water first makes for a more sensual experience than diving right in!

We’re not sure what kind of medical qualifications Tori Black and Alexis Texas possess, but we’re pretty sure we’ll accept their prescription. Even if we’re not sure of our diagnosis. Because it looks like these chicks’ go-to remedy is to have Alexis sit her fine ass upon the face of their convalescent. We can feel our coughs dissipate into the ether, our chills turn to tropical zephyrs. But we’re still gonna open our mouth and say, “Ahhhhh”.

We’re not joking, neither. Our hearts skipped a handful of beats when we saw Tori Black pop-up in two scenes in this film. Not one scene, two! However, we don’t want you asking yourself, “How long ago were these scenes made?” Instead, ask yourself, “How long until I recover from watching these scenes?” You’re going to be a little bedridden.

If you look at their eyelids, they are blinking out “Not remotely torture.”

You see, we decided we might like to play the role of the ground beneath Beth and tits from Front Army just long enough for a peck on our planar cheek. But we need to rethink this, because — look! It’s Tori Black taking a lackadaisical stroll across our surface, but… without any undies at all! Sheesh. We guess we’ll change our transmografication plans to allow for a half hour of floor-time, but that’s it. Then we have to return to people form. So we have hands. So we can touch ourselves to these chicks. Yes, one truly can have it all.

Hello to everyone on this Happy Humpday! We are smack dab in the middle of our week together and I think this calls for something special, no? I’ve had a few people tweet me and send me emails, commenting on my posts thus far and making some special requests for things they would like to see and read. A popular request has been for me to talk about my love of and involvement with yoga.

In what can only be described as a meeting of the greats, X-Art has a video of Tori Black masturbating (fittingly titled The Endless Orgasm). Of course, as a video (and a human orgasm), it isn’t really endless…but this wonderful gif sampled from the video is.

Can you believe “Bad Girls 6″ is already here? It seems like we were just freaking out about Stoya’s double penetration scene in “Bad Girls 5,” and now she’s doing interracial with Mr. Marcus. Can we please slow down the pace of our dreams coming true? We’d like to savor

It doesn’t matter that Tori Black’s character was brainwashed and tortured into being more sexually confident and assertive; she was still empowered. Killer Bodies Director: David Lord Starring: Tori Black, Alexis Ford, Teagan Presley, Bree Olson, Jessica Jaymes, Raylene, Brooke Lee Adams, Barrett Blade, Seth Gamble, Randy Spears, Derrick Pierce,

We always knew that Tori Black could make the music with her mouth, but we didn’t know this gentle innuendo could also be interpreted literally. Watch as a symphony of Tori’s orgasmic moans becomes a hot jam by Johann Sebastian Bach. We definitely consider ourselves Tori Black fans, and we

Do I have to spell it out for you? “Panty Pops” involves the worship of vulva-stuffed panties and the women attached to either end of those vulvae, as well as the tactical load-deposits on those panties. It’s important! You’ve got to respect the fetish. Director/co-star Kevin Moore outfits each performer

Maybe we shouldn’t be deciding what is or isn’t taught in schools when some of us only got 3s on the AP U.S. history exam, but gosh darnit, the leaders of tomorrow need to know that politicians should be allowed—nay, encouraged—to be freaky in the bedroom. Here Cums the President

The iron is hot, says director Gazzman, so why not have Tori Black play the lead in controversial Cannes darling and Hitler name-dropping director Lars von Trier’s planned “Nymphomaniac”? After all, Black has inhabited the role before… “I am not saying von Trier has stolen my ideas,” says Gazzman. “But

Sex is sometimes easier when you’re on vacation, even if sex is what you do for a job. Join Tori Black, Brooklyn Lee, and Vanessa Cage on a working holiday on St. Maarten. Shane’s World 42: Paradise Island Director: Eddie Powell Starring: Tori Black, Brooklyn Lee, Vanessa Cage, Michael Vegas,

In 2008, Sasha Grey was named AVN’s Female Performer of the Year, and then starred in Steven Soderbergh’s “The Girlfriend Experience.” Tori Black has been named Performer of the Year twice now—and we’ve just discovered her mainstream work! True, a straight-to-DVD softcore thriller like “Half Moon” may not be quite

They might be hardcore sex fiends, they might like a little pain and bondage, and if there were a line for dick, they might cut in front of you. However, Tori Black and Monique Alexander are not bitches. They’re adorable! They’re the kind of pornstars you’d want to take home

Hey everyone, Tori got a package! No, the mail kind of package, not the male kind. What could it be? Oh, just her box, in a box. Luckily for us, she’s letting us discover her Fleshlight along with her. Tori walks us through the steps to putting together her vagina,