How To Get Laid Without Getting Screwed — that’s the premise of The Girl’s Guide To Depravity. As a freshly minted single gal navigating the now foreign 20-something meat market, as much as a “handbook” isn’t really my thing, I decided to keep an open mind to the suggestions held within. And despite any initial misgivings (number one: author Heather Rutman touted as the “female Tucker Max”), I’d always fancied myself a bit depraved. And getting laid? Well, I certainly could use some of that right about now. So, I began the search for bookish tidbits that might actually benefit me in the pursuit of real, live boning.

We’ve long known how “The Girl’s Guide to Depravity” feels about cuddling (it’s ardently anti-cuddling), but we never knew that it didn’t allow for extended bouts of sweetness and weekend-long banging. What’s Sally Golan’s beef with excellent and near-endless sex? Why does she want to have “the truth” get in the way of hot humping?

Oh sure, we love all the choking and “Matrix”-style sex as much as the next perv, but sometimes a sex blog enjoys sitting back, slapping on some romantic tunes, and watching a straight, down to earth roll in the hay. Our thanks to Maggie Williams for obliging that urge…and for doing it with such gusto!

Tyler, who you see here having sex with Fiona and who has also had sex with Lizzie, says that he’s 100% gay, and this confuses Sam and Lizzie. It doesn’t confuse us! He’s gay, he occasionally has sex with ladies, and if Fiona’s reactions are anything to go by, he’s very good at it.

Well, this is a fantastic sight! Rebecca Blumhagen, out of breath, paralyzed by the orgasm that she so badly deserved. Everything else seems to be going down the tubes for her, but at least this moment is golden!

It looks like those cuties from Cinemax are getting into some freaky substances! Sam (Rebecca Blumhagen) gets a prescription she doesn’t want, so she trades her scrip for a bunch of uppers and a penis pill. How does this play out for her? Not so well, but she has a slightly better time than Lizzie (Sally Golan), who goes home alone.

“The Girl’s Guide to Depravity” is full of surprises, and that’s one of the main reasons we love it. Last time it was, “Oh, golly! Justine Joli is teaching the ladies about sex via chakra!” and now it, “Yo, Cinemax: 1999 called and they want their awkwardly long ‘Matrix’-inspired sex scene back.”

You know what “The Girl’s Guide to Depravity” has been missing? A mystical redheaded Earth mother who knows how to fuck guys by using the powers of her lower chakras. Fortunately, Justine Joli is here to do exactly that. We love Justine Joli! And we had no idea she could fuck guys with her chakras!

Since “The Girl’s Guide to Depravity” is all about ladies holding their ground, having random and frivolous sex, and not getting attached to men, sweet things like snuggling and nuzzling are strictly forbidden. However, anything that suggests BDSM and/or makes the man aware that he’s being used for sex is strongly encouraged. We’re down with these guidelines!

Here’s yet another softcore treat from The Girl’s Guide To Depravity, featuring two banging neighbor babes. Only one of them happens to be Riley Steele… And Rebecca gives it her best effort to keep up.

“The Girl’s Guide to Depravity” continues to dazzle us with late night softcore goodness! And better yet, we’re learning a thing or two about the methods these naughty girls employ when chasing prey. For one, we learned that they never take their bras off when having sex; instead, they hike them up so that their nipples are suckable.

We’re a little tardy to this party, but no matter: we will celebrate twice as hard. “The Girl’s Guide to Depravity” is about two foxy females who have concocted a set of rules that will allow them to maximize their banging whilst minimizing their bummers. They’re adorable, they’re not copping feelings, and they solve their problems with sex. Cinemax, you truly understand us.