Only in Florida: That's What They Call an Innuendo Only in florida web 01dc8c23 featured

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

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Is Semen Really the Elixir of Life? Semen featured

Well, technically—but you know what I mean.

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You Know How To Drive A Stick?

Har har. This gal Jessica sure does! Let's see how many manual transmission metaphors we can make. She revs his engine, rocking all the way up to fifth gear. She takes him from 0-60 in, well, about a minute and a half. And then he comes all up in her mouth. ...Well, we tried.

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Good To The Last Drop

Cum. We're talking about cum if you didn't gather. And this babe can seek it out like a forager looking for truffles or wild 'n' natural microgreens. She's used her innate radar sense to locate and lock down this dick, and it's a real jizz jackpot.

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Mom Said Don't Play With Your Cum

But we don't mind that this chick shirks the rules, don't mind it at all. Because we've almost never seen a lady with such a taste for ejaculate before. It's finer than the deepest, darkest chocolate, the most decadent creme bruleé. Oh, cum-eating sluts, you make up your own rules. We're on board.

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That's The Sound Of Cum In The Mouth

In case you were wondering. And, oh, what's that second sound? That is the gorgeous melody of every drop of cum sliding right down the gullet of a lovely babe. It's a sonic wonderland we're living in, friends, a veritable symphony that sends shivers up and down our spine (and even further down, too...).

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