Okay, if anyone is ever under the impression that a lady can’t be highly into the hardcore side of banging, we raise them this video. We only wish someone would cry out to us with the joyous ululations emanating from the mouth of this babe for this monstrosity of a dildo. We hope this plasticine dick realizes how truly special and loved it is!
Play along with Macy and Zoey in “Game Night”, from Babes.com
We apologize for being the bearers of bad gossip, but a recent storm of Twitpics prompted Kim Kardashian’s ex-publicist to ask the police (via Twitter, of course) to check on Amanda because he was worried about her. Then Jenny McCarthy chimed in. A few minutes ago, Amanda wrote a few nasty comments back at Jenny. We don’t understand what the big deal is–besides Amanda’s big boobs and a hint of nipple peeking out of her hair.
We know you’ve been naughty, dear readers. What? Looking so innocent? Come on; think down, deep down. Surely you recall some teeny, tiny little dastardly deed or mild atrocity you’ve perpetrated of late. And, well, we’re gonna punish the hell outta you for it! Or at least this sweet ass by proxy. You deserve it. But even if you don’t, isn’t it still sorta fun?
When settling down for a robust and hearty sexual repast, one mustn’t forget the importance of the first course — a little bite that rouses the appetite and piques the desire for a full and lusty feast. You know what fits the menu? A nice bit of facesitting and a light indulgence in some puss-lickin’.
Just yesterday our gallant Mr. Ponante let us in on the goings-on of The Perfect Secretary 3 — so we figured we’d take a look at what this specialized training entails. It looks like it requires a lot of ass-in-the-air shimmying, in a uniform of easily rippable stockings with no panties beneath. Uh, hey, we’ve got some calls that need to be taken — Dana DeArmond, can you get in here?
It’s Polaroid appreciation weekend at Fleshbot, and we swear it’s not an endorsement, cuz you can’t even buy that shit anymore, right? Polaroids harken back to a time when you could take a sexy picture and there was no chance of it ending up on your Facebook wall. There’s something so illicit about the lack of depth of field!
Ah yes, we feel awestruck and small when imagining the Pyramids of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Colossus of Rhodes… But being face-to-face with these monumental boobs, this excellent funtime anal-bang — it’s got us feeling a bit breathless. It’s moments like these that make us take a step back, make us ponder and appreciate the greatness of the universe.
We’ve seen DPs before (duh!) but we haven’t seen one with quite an air of… urgency that’s exhibited here. The lovely Sheena seems to have an almost desperate need to get all her holes stuffed — it’s imperative! Believe us, we respect her mission. If we were there, we’d be like a surgeon’s assistant at the ready with every size dildo, extra lube, rubber gloves… whatever she needed. She’s gotta get stuffed, and by george, we’ll see she does!
Dang, someone should construct a dam just south of this chick’s mega-squirting pussy and harness that shiz for some clean energy (well, clean in a sense… *wink*). But seriously, this is the squirt that keeps on giving. And all it takes to call forth this flood, this surge, this deluge of lady-loving is a cool-guy fist. It’s like the opposite of Moses parting the sea because this thing gets soaked.
There’s plenty of time for academics and extracurriculars — but a well-rounded prep school kid (18+ of course) should make plenty of time for car-hood cunnilingus and that sweet, sweet outdoor boning.
It’s rare in life when situations, entities, matters line up perfectly. Sometimes things just… work out. Be it kismet, divine providence, or just luck, we’ll take it. And if you throw some genitals into the mix, well, it’s all sunshine, smiles, and rainbows. Life’s a breeze!
If little (or big) Johnny isn’t doing so well in class, getting low marks with the dreaded “See me” scrawled in red ink across his test, we could see he might be a bit scared of what’s to come. But little would he expect that it’s gonna be him — all over the teacher! That should be really encouraging.
Ah, spanking — we look at it as sort of a gateway drug for BDSM. Before diving into your sensory-deprivation tank laden with masks and clamps, latex and gags, why not dip your toes in with a couple harmless (or not…) smacks? Because sometimes being naughty earns its just and walloping rewards. And sometimes those rewards make you want to cream yourself.
We may not be able to understand exactly what this lovely couple is saying, but we can certainly catch shades of meaning behind the words. We think it’s probably something along the lines of, “I really love having your cock in my ass,” and “Me too”. Us, three!
Or… we guess this guy is. But we’re happy she’s his too, and his cock is hers, and there’s all sorts of mutual lovin’ going on because they make a damn fine pair. We mean, holy crap — the way she gazes up at him with that cock in her enamored mouth-embrace — we almost melt into a little puddle of splooge and emotion on the floor.
And her name is Melissa Cunningham, and we think she should be part of their permanent exhibits. Or basically we just wish she were permanently exhibited. All the time. Anywhere. She’s so fresh-faced, full of vitality and fun! And babe-force. That’s important, too. And along with all that, she makes a pair of skivvies come to life and do a tap dance upon her. But figuratively. Jumping knickers would be too troublesome to wrangle on a photo set.
We’re not saying we’re not totally into this hot-ass striptease from Monique Alexander; no, that’s not it. But it is going to be giving us some difficulty throughout our day of, you know, interacting with people and being a non-bonered member of society to have these images flashing through our mind all day. But we’ll take the pros with the cons, because these are some pretty good and nipple-y pros at hand.
Hey, it’s everyone’s favorite smutty tradition, when we rifle through the deepest dresser drawers to dust off some choice bits of heirloom erotica. Hello, Throwback Thursday! We’re doing mighty fine, how are you? Ultra kinky? More specifically, “Ultra Kinky 9: Hairy Pussies”? Cool. This 1970′s definition of “ultra” may be adorably outdated, but this lust is timeless, damn it. It serves to remind us — oh, how we love porn.
