It might not be the traditional choice, but it holds the audience quite well, gives them the same number of goosebumps, and won’t give them the nightmares the ghost stories usually produce. If someone hears a raccoon rustling through the garbage, they won’t mistake it for a murderer with a rusty hook hand, they’ll think it’s just Aleksa Nicole looking for a dick to suck–she’s the Tooth Fairy of deep tissue massages!

So in the 80′s there was a way excellent movie called “Weird Science” that was about some teenage nerds trying to create the perfect woman. And of course teenage nerds have way more scientific abilities than actual scientists. When you’re horny you are capable of strange superhuman feats, like when moms lift cars off their kids, except more along the lines of being able to perform intellectual tasks far beyond the limits of current technology in order to get laid. We know you know what we’re talking about. The most we’ve done is bake things we didn’t realize we could bake and drive across two states in the middle of the night 20 miles over the speed limit without getting a ticket or killing anyone. All in the name of horniness.

When asked to describe her sexual style, Samantha Saint responded, “In the bedroom, I sweat. I’m a Gemini and I think that has a lot to do with what I enjoy sexually.” No, she’s not saying she has an alter ego or some creepy twin thing going on; she’s just a girl who likes variety, and who can change her erotic attitude at a moment’s notice. It’s this versatility (and her fine ass titties) that drew us to her in the first place.

After we saw Samantha in “The Insatiable Miss Saint,” we started thinking about this young woman’s place in the greater pantheon of pornstars. Does her star shine bright enough to rival Silvia Saint’s? If not, will it someday? Rather than consult the oracle, we decided to figure out the answers for ourselves; we don’t know where the destination is, but this Field Guide is the journey.

When porn references “Miss Saint,” we immediately think of the legendary Czech cutie Silvia Saint, but this movie is actually all about Samantha Saint. We don’t think she’s trying to unseat Silvia as the number one Miss Saint, but damn: this movie shows that Samantha is destined to become one of history’s pornographic titans.

Little known fact: the exclamation point was modeled after combined shape of pussy and ass as seen in the position that Samantha Saint is demonstrating in the picture above. There are no words bold enough to describe the beauty, excitement, and anticipation associated with such a sight, so new punctuation was born.

White backgrounds, intimate interviews, hyphy music, and a simple focus on fucking: you see these things quite often in porn these days, but it’s a whole other ball game when Ivan is calling the shots. Oh, and this movie stars Jessie Andrews, Samantha Saint, Lily Carter, and Jynx Maze, so, you know, that means this will be extra good.

We don’t much care for this Tim Tebow fellow (because, well, obviously), but we gotta admit that his signature pose does happen to be a pretty good way to show off the female form. We’re not sure how Mr. Tebow’s lord and savior would female about Samantha Saint coopting the

Samantha Saint has a great ass, and we love watching her rock it back and forth as she slides her plump lips down Ramon Nomar’s cock, but to be perfectly honest, it’s the lighting that gets us all hot and bothered. It’s dynamic yet soft, as if these two decided

What else would she be about? This literally describes the existence of a model/pornstar: she puts on and/or takes off stockings, get paid, and has men grovel at her feet. Hose: take me to the bridge. It doesn’t matter if you’re a full fledged foot fetishist or not, because these

With Osama bin Laden shot and buried at sea, it’s only a matter of time until world peace is achieved and America is able to dismantle the trappings of its security state; making things like the TSA an artifact of a more complicated, painful time—and movies like “TSA: Your Ass