What happens when six nasty babes move into the same big house? Fights? Actually, no, it seems like these girls get along. But will they get along with B. Skow as he jams his camera in their butts and watches them shave their pussies and chastises them for consuming nothing but candy bars and Marlboro cigarettes? We think they’re cool with it. Besides, he does get them laid.

In porn, as in life, Stoya has all of the answers, and she gives them long before we’re ready to ask questions. We’re wondering why the title of this movie is “unSEXpected,” and a month ago she answered, “because people have sex in it and some of the characters are surprised about it.” What’s with the SEX part? “Non-standard capitalization draws the eye, hammering the adult-oriented nature of the product home.” Oh, Stoya, you’re so good to us.

Is she? Don’t be embarrassed, we think it’s awesome that your wife (or girlfriend, or life partner) was down to take one of the thickest dicks in the adult industry inside her mouth and pussy, and we think you’re awesome for sitting there and watching it happen. These stories might not get any Pulitzer Prizes, but everybody who takes part in them is forever a winner in our hearts.