Five Reasons Why I Love "Couples and Teens," by Brandi Love Mph 0020 403faef2 featured

Love is one sexy officer of the law!

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Twenty Questions with Hot Porn Newbie Whitney Wright Dc9a9230 455a9452 featured

Whitney is wonderful!

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Five Reasons Why I Loved Being in "Daddy Lovers", by Leigh Raven Img 0273 5bb18ec4 featured

Leigh does it for daddy.

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Abella Danger Gets a Load Where She Wants It in Reality Junkies’ "Creampie Virgins" Abellacharles featured

Abella gets it her way!

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"Jack Attack 4" Is Just What We Need 0029 web

We tend to think that gonzo porn lends itself most ably to those who leave the DVD in the player and come back to it to find something new. A few minutes of action, a few flashes of dick and pussy, and you've jacked off into or onto whatever receptacle or consenting sex object you fancy at that moment. As such, it's something you enjoy in morsels, provided you're willing to look for something new in each scene.

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Casey's "Dear Diary" Falls Into The Wrong Hands, Vaginas, Etc.

When people get ahold of your written diary, it's an automatic disaster; they'll read it and learn all the crazy stuff you really think about them. When Casey Calvert's friends get their hands on her video diary, all they do is film themselves fucking with it. That's not so bad, actually!

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First Responders Get Frisky In The Wake Of "Jack Attack 3"

There's no plot to speak of, but there's clearly a thread connecting all of the scenes in "Jack Attack 3," and that thread has to do with nurses. We like that! Doctors get all the respect, but nurses are the real heroes of the medical world: they're not afraid to get their hands dirty, and dirty is what humans are.

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"Special Delivery," Or "Kinky's Delivery Service"

And just like that we realize how discomforting Studio Ghibli porn jokes are. Anyway, here we have Selena Rose as a helpful young woman who decides to take over her neighbor's delivery route, despite the fact that she can't drive and is too horny to have social graces!

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"Swingers Retreat" But Then Come Back With A Charge

Before they decide to tie the knot for good, Jesse Jane and Chad White are going to put their relationship through one final test: they're hunting humans for sport. Wait, sorry, wrong movie! Jesse and Chad are going to go to a swingers' resort, because they want to see what their marriage is like six years from now when they're bored of banging each other.

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The Fast Track To Butt Crack Is "Jack Attack 2"

Well how about this? A Digital Playground film with no plot! It sure has been a while since we've seen one of these, and we have to admit that we feel a little lost without some drama guiding us through the forest of gams. We guess we'll have to invent our own scenes for everybody. It shouldn't be too hard with all the cowboy gear they're sporting.

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Why Doesn't Our Healthcare Cover "Sexual Healing"?

Maybe yours does, but ours (Freelancer's Insurance, because we're all freelancers here) doesn't. For the kind of industry we work in, we desperately need it! What if we wake up one day and we feel psychosomatically blocked from any form of arousal? How are we supposed to write about porn if we can't empathize with the action we watch on the screen?

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There Is No "Shortcut" To Wisdom, Save For Nasty Sex With Bikers

It's been five years since BiBi Jones and Lilly Banks graduated, but they haven't yet become adults worthy of strutting their stuff at their high school reunion. How will they mentally and emotionally prepare themselves for the awkward gauntlet of old classmates and long lost flames? Don't fret! Fate (and a bitchy former rival) will intervene.

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A "Secret Sleepover" That's Neither Secret Nor Sleep-Related

You know what makes sleepovers so great? The lack of sleep! What other youthful institution is named such a blatant lie? (One Direction is neither singular nor direct, so there's that.) When else is it acceptable to wear pajamas with your homies and occasionally slip out of them for naughty games and gossip?

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"Disconnected": Lose The Wi-Fi, Gain A Wifey

You ever been at dinner with a group of friends and nobody can keep their hands off their fucking cell phones? It's called the present, people: live in it. Times like that, we wish the towers would go down and everybody would have to deal with humans. There would be anarchy at first, but eventually, much screwing.

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"Skip Trace 3" Because You Can't Spell Bounty Hunter Without Butt

Actually, you know what a good anagram of bounty hunter is? "Run, honey butt!" We're pretty sure nobody says that to anybody else in this film, but it's still pretty appropriate, considering how many of the fugitives here have sweethearts who they bang shortly before being chased down by the fuzz.

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