No, this isn’t your run of the mill sleight-of-hand with cards, quarters, or bunnies in hats. These ladies don’t even need a magic wand to make our head spin. Although we guess a magic dildo sort of counts. But we suppose any dildo would become a little enchanted if placed between Nikki and Veruca. When their powers combine, they could probably part the sea of traffic in LA, flatten the Hollywood Hills, or expunge the city of real housewives. They could do this, sure. But turning their faculties to lascivious lesbian sex likely makes the greatest good. At least we think so.

Maybe it’s because we’ve got open-air banging on the brain, but if we were this hottie fucking couple, we’d throw open the shutters and let the cool night air waft over our writhing, reverse cowgirling bodies. It adds a bit of dusky, twilight romance to the whole encounter.

We were fans of the series as is, but if things had taken such sexy turns while we were reading we would have snuck out the flashlight and read all night. This blonde biddie has taken things to the next level, getting a friend involved to live out the plot in all its smutty detail. Awesomely, the tale revolves around a lot of cunnilingus and bangin’.

We’ve got a bit of a thing for people’s first foray into the world of social pornography. It’s like heading into your first day of school — your nerves are jangling, you’re filled up with butterflies and a sense of exhilaration toward the unknown. It’s exciting for everyone involved! In this case, however, we’re trading notebooks for babe-ass and pens
for cocks. That’s more exciting still.

Ha, no, we’re just kidding — this guy’s banging the shit out of her. But she looks like she rather enjoys it! Like the Queen of England might relish a cup of Earl Grey tea served in a delicate saucer with a side of artisanal biscotti, Ms. Rotten is refined in her fleshly tastes. And Bill Bailey is there to raise his hand to the lovely Bonnie, place his jacket atop a puddle, or carry her if she gets weary. Or slam the bejeezes out of her high-minded honeypot. Tut, tut! What a charming pair.

Everyone (well, everyone after our own heart) has to take the plunge into internet sexvideodom somehow. Shall it be a BJ? A masturbatory wank? A bouncy and brilliant cowgirl? Or will you go ahead and leap out of the gate with a kickin’ anal bang? We say go big, or actually, go anywhere sexy, and we’ll cheer and wank and applaud your horny efforts with lust and gusto.

Ah, our old friend, the reverse cowgirl. We feel like this is sort of the second level of sex move — once you’ve mastered missionary and doggie style, dabbled in some forward-facing rides, this is the ticket. Throw your inhibitions out the window — they’re not wanted here! You’ve gotta be bold to bounce big-booty style, but oh, it’s worth it.

What are parents thinking when they send their hormonal teenager off to boarding school? Instead of merely living in a world that contains other horny people, they now live in a world comprised entirely by other horny teenagers. Oh well, all the better for us, cuz it makes for excellent jerk-off material.

Hey y’all, it’s Florabel’s birthday today! And we/I can think of nary a better way to celebrate than with the aforementioned holy trinity of B’s. Or… quadruplicity of Bs, counting the “bouncing”. Or maybe quintuplicity, counting birthday. But hey, this ain’t an occasion for doing math! It’s a day for watching April O’Neil vaulting up and down atop a massive schlong so hard and fast her tits nearly ascend to the heavens. If that’s not a celebration, we don’t know what is! A happy day to us all.

We’re pretty big fans of this reclining reverse cowgirl. We’re not saying this babe is taking it totally easy, oh no. But this is more like a comfy-cozy anal bang if ever there were — just leanin’ back, floating down these body beautiful tides. Oh, but then she jumps off her cockraft for a determined doggystyle pound. You know, tit for tat and all that.

Damn, this chick can polish a cock like — uh… well, we can’t really think of any great polishing metaphors right now but we can attest that she is mighty adept. We’re somewhat awestruck upon seeing her beautiful behind backing up towards us, then doing a little shimmy on this guy’s charmed chub. We just want her to work basically any part of our body like that. Our hands, our face, our ass, hell, even our ankles. We’re sure it would feel like an all-over Swedish massage.

And we were all atwitter when these folks were on their in-car BJ! Little did we know that was just the beginning. We’re pretty sure those two dudes chillin’ outside caught a glimpse of this babe’s bobbing head — greater than a dashboard bobblehead, that’s for sure — yet they still go about their business of sitting. We’d at least do a double take. And then furtively try to see as much as we could within the realm of only slightly pervy taste.

Hey, it’s everyone’s favorite smutty tradition, when we rifle through the deepest dresser drawers to dust off some choice bits of heirloom erotica. Hello, Throwback Thursday! We’re doing mighty fine, how are you? Ultra kinky? More specifically, “Ultra Kinky 9: Hairy Pussies”? Cool. This 1970′s definition of “ultra” may be adorably outdated, but this lust is timeless, damn it. It serves to remind us — oh, how we love porn.

But, uh, a spirited reverse cowgirl bangathon is totally cool. Hey, we didn’t make the rules. We just enforce them — albeit loosely. We will also accept a regular rollicking cowgirl, you see. Also, 69ing? Hell yeah. Oh, and mutual masturbation is cool too. And jeeze, when it comes down to it we guess we’re even okay with missionary. Heck, do what you want — just aspire to be like Nikki Seven while you do, okay? That’s a positive-ass role model for you there. And we’re all about positive ass!

Although to be fair, we like them all. But this one looks to be a hell of a lot more fun! Even though we don’t even think they’re speaking Russian here. But bear with us, please. Eurosluts ahead!

That Skin Diamond is one stellar student. She can rattle off country capitals, solve trigonometric equations, win the spelling bee, and recite the first canto of Dante’s Inferno all while straddling the teacher and showing his cock a thing or two. She can be in charge of Prom Committee, go out for glee club, edit the school newspaper, and paint murals for senior week with a dick in one hand and sparkly paint pen in the other.

It’s been a big day for seats and other furniturelike structures round here today, so we figured we’d keep that train rollin’ and share with you what is probably one of the best moments of this hotel chair’s life. We’re sure it’s seen its share of crotchety businessmen slappin’ away at laptops, or had rowdy kids climbing all upon it. But we’re sure the strife is all worthwhile, for this one shining moment of frontwards, backwards, busty blonde cowgirl action.

Ah, Ms. Le. You’re a universally renowned MILF of legendary proportions, but do you sit back and rest on your erotic laurels? No, you do not. You pound and slam with the best of them, not only keeping up with the freshest starlets of the day, but showing them how it’s done. And this — this is how it’s done. Francesca’s mounted upon this fellow like a queen atop her dick throne, and she can take every forceful inch of cock this stud bestows upon her. We’re a loyal subject of your foxy kingdom, lady, and bow to you (and your pussy) in humble deference.

At first we (mis)interpreted the title of this flick as “nothing inside”. We were a bit puzzled. Does that mean this babe’s beautiful pussy is left all neglected and malcontent? That would be a crime! But then we realized, ah, “nuttin inside” means a different thing entirely. This is only right. Things are as they should be, and we can all breathe a lusty sigh of relief.

That Noelle DuBois is really something special. After years of research, struggling to get funding, and countless hours of lab work, she’s finally figured out the perfect way to ride cowgirl (and even reverse cowgirl, with that fine ass of hers pointed out way) without any help from the guy she’s fucking. He’s totally useless! Congratulations, Noelle.