It seems like an innocent enough question, especially when a whirring Magic Wand is being held to your clit, a dude is fucking you in the ass, and another is choking you out — under any normal circumstances (heh!) you’d come your little heart out a thousand times. But, Kaci Star, you’re within the walls of the Kink armory now, and things are a little different here. So… can you come? No.

Is it our imaginations, or has the adult industry (and New Sensations in particular) become quite fond of “cute,” “adorable,” and similar words? We enjoy it, it definitely puts a bright and sunny spin on porn, but we wonder if this will change the national lexicon someday. How long will it be until calling a girl “cute” is seen as slander, a suggestion that she’s down to inhale huge dicks with a smile on her face?

In the perfect world, all parents would get paid time off to be with their children during their earliest years. Sadly, we’re a long way away from that world, but maybe we can convince the government to send exceptionally-hung studs to the hard working MILFs of America every now and then, maybe with a few vouchers for the fancy lingerie of their choice. So, who wants to write up this We the People petition?

Carrie’s friends are obsessed with a certain pornstar they found online, Riley Steele, mainly because Riley and Carrie look alike, secondarily because watching Riley’s scenes seems to spice up everyone’s sex life. Rumors are quickly spreading about Carrie’s secret second job; how will she address these issues with her boyfriend?

You can act all cool and distant if you want, but you know you’re dying to see the new all-Remy extravaganza. She’s under your skin, she’s hula hooping and dick handling and doing all of the things she’s good at, except this time she’s doing it bigger than before. We’re talking gangbang, girlbang, Skin Diamond bang, all manners of bang!

Counting calories? We all are, but now you don’t have to worry about how many pretty panties you polish off! “My Little Panties 5″ gives you all of the hot, cottony, lacy, frilly flavor you’d find in grown-ass undies but in a smaller, more efficient package (that’s connected to a hot teen pornstar). It’s the Snackwells of panties!

“This is what I want,” Rotten says. “Demolish me. Do it. Destroy me.”

When Celeste Star comes to, she finds her tongue taking a stroll up the side of Gracie Glam’s twat, soaking up the flavors of sweat mingled with sexual anticipation and the slightest hit of deep pussy wetness. “How did I get here?” she asks herself, going in for another taste. One minute she and Gracie were greeting each other, the next minute they were in their lingerie, and then… the “Hardcore Allure” took over.

Generally speaking, we love big boobs. As long as nobody has any back problems, we’ll take them as blimped out and bouncy as they come. However, we realized recently that this can make hugging difficult, and our sexual fantasies have gone all weird as a result. How can we think about banging Bridgette B. when we can’t fathom getting our arms around her?

We’re not gonna lie. This is one of our favorite trailers we’ve watched in a long time. It was a perfect Friday afternoon jerk, and we recommend you try it at various other days and hours and send us your notes. So what do we love about it? Besides the totally dream team cast of adorable girls with really fine squeezable fuckable asses, this series has a conceit that we actually find very very sex positive: reminding everyone that anal sex is hottest with lots and lots and LOTS of lube.

Everybody gets to be young (unless you’re one of those Benjamin Button types), but it takes a special kind of person to be glamorous. They possess a mix of poise and passion, a prismatic attitude that refracts light like the facets of a diamond, and–if they plan on getting anywhere near a Jules Jordan set–a collection of fancy lingerie that they don’t mind having stretched out and torn asunder to facilitate ass pounding.

You asked for more, so New Sensations and Eddie Powell are giving you more in every possible way. “Big Girls Are Sexy” returns to teach us that cushion isn’t just for pushin’, but also for snuggling with and falling asleep upon when said cushion-bearer makes you come so hard that your knees give out.

I have always been confused by Elegant Angel’s choice to release its “Performers of the Year” for the current year in January. It’s not like the 2013 Honda CR-V, in which the aerodynamic and sporty XUV is new for that model year; “Performers of the Year” implies that the rest of the year is cake, and these ladies have already won.

We all want to belong to something–a family, a movement, a religion–but sometimes it’s hard to figure out one’s place in the world. For example, where do all the big dicks go? Should they stand proudly in the wind with the flagpoles? Must they be chained up with the guns in the barracks? No, they belong to the cuties, and the cuties belong to them.

Because we heard from a reliable source that anal sex with Lexi Belle ushers in world peace (thanks, Mr. Deen) without further ado, we present a lengthy preview to the film Lexi. Said anal exchange occurs amidst a host of other joyful sights, including babely cunnilingus in a roller skating rink. We agree with James on the whole butt part, but we think as a whole package this introduction to Lexi might save us all.

A year ago, New Sensations announced that it would be taking its smut in a new direction, and the original “Innocence of Youth” introduced us to the sleek, sensual style that Eddie Powell continued rocking all 2012 long. It’s a new year, does that mean New Sensations will pull out a new look? Heck naw; why would they mess with such predatory perfection?

We have to be honest: the title of this movie brings up a couple of baking images to mind, neither of which are necessarily sexy. There’s the muffin top, then there’s the phrase “with a bun in the oven.” Why do baked goods and sex go together so perfectly? And are bakers constantly getting laid because of it?

It is well documented—I don’t know, somewhere—that the word “panties” skeeves out many women in the same way “Clamato” turns me off. That is why I don’t think we can call “My Little Panties 4″ a couples’ film.

We have always thought Ashley Fires was just lovely, but now that she’s past 30, she looks so much more assured. Sadly, our wonderful view keeps getting obscured by cocks in “DP Fanatic 2.”