Maybe it’s “okay,” but I don’t believe that Eva Karera is this guy’s mother in-law. He’s not wearing a wedding ring, and Karera refers to the unseen woman as her daughter, not his wife, or even the more familiar “Becky.” See? The Social Contract has been broken already.
A recent NASA study—conducted from Space—concluded that everyone on this planet and a few of the other ones watches porn. So a title like “I Know That Girl” could be right on the money.
Natalie Heart isn’t a dummy. She gets great grades, and she’s on to you. You invited her over to “tutor” her. But she doesn’t need your ancient long division and FOIL method. No, she’s probably going to have teh sex with you and then tweet about it, you know, because she’s a “schoolgirl.”
Even though the presence of porn performer ringers is disheartening, the “Dare Dorm” series is so like college, what with its alcohol poisoning, uncomfortable beds, and poor choices, that it should be required viewing for anyone who didn’t get into his/her first three choices.
To watch Gizzelle de la Cruz, all 22 and Cuban, bruised flesh and braces, wearing a black cowboy hat, bursting out of her cheap but weapons-grade bra, is to be thankful for the state of Florida.
Neither Jaslene Jade nor co-star Bruce Venture were born when Dexy’s Midnight Runners released “Come On Eileen” in 1983 to international acclaim. The infectious (but not Staph-Infectious) single hit #1 in both the United States and the U.K., and inspired millions of people to prefix a parenthetical (There’s) to the song.
The sound of Whore Clogs clacking up the walk of a modest home will always sound like Porn Valley to me, and nowhere but here are they as common as crickets. Today they belong to Jada Stevens, who exits a Bentley on her way to getting fucked by a resurgent Lexington Steele and Prince Yahshua.
Westgate’s vagina does not look small to me, come to think of it. It also does not look huge. It looks just right.
It just seems like tandem fellatio is securely within the realm of possibilities for these two, like stealing cable or insurance fraud. Welcome to California.
You ever drive around your neighborhood, see a great parking space, think: “Wow! I should park there!” and then remember you already have a great parking space? That’s like seeing Emy Reyes selling ice cream from a pushcart. It makes me want to move to Chatsworth and then I remember I already live there.
Tommy Pistol and Mike Quasar return with a second “How To Make A Cheap Porno,” their sad, cheesy, I’m-Going-To-Hell celebration of things funny because they’re true.
I never met anyone like Riley Reid when I had to take a summer typing class at a junior college.
With the unstable Euro, renters of “Mike’s Apartment” pay with their labia.
You know how some realtors bake cookies to lure buyers? Well, Jesse Jane has sex with them. SOLD!
Sometimes, like the “You” in “Open the door,” the Bra is just understood.
Perhaps it’s true that people can use porn to learn how to have sex (though piledrivers are silly), but it’s rare that erotic interludes teach us something useful. Kevin Moore’s “Hooker Experience” is such a movie, for it teaches us how to be an ally to sex workers.
If you got a bunch of actual clowns to make a porn movie in 1985, “Clown Porn: The Parody” is the movie they’d make.
Raven-haired British provocatrix Samantha Bentley traveled to Italy for Harmony Films’ “Young Harlots in Venice” and noticed that strange things began happening when she suited up (or down).
Aside from the tattoos, there’s something 70′s Buddy’s Hot Older Sister about Bailey Blue, who tries her best to accommodate Billy Glide in “Super Size Me: Monster Cocks.”
Every single one of the bodies in this movie happens to enclose the glorious soul of a pornstress, making it impossible to evaluate the merits of the title.
