We might not be the most physical-fitness-inclined group on the earth, but if we were under the titful tutelage of Rachel Starr it might be a different story. We feel that the sight of those bangin’ bosoms would inspire us to do a hundred push-ups, two dozen burpees, run for miles. They’re the only reward we need! Well, that and the glow of wellness and health. But mostly the boobs!
Wait, can we use Instagram as a verb? Anyway, Rihanna posted this photo to her Instagram account with the caption “I’m a fan of all my fans! They left the concert and went to #WERK #VIPtix #diamondsworldtour” but then took it down soon after. People saw the nipple piercing (which is beautiful) and then instantly assumed it was RiRi’s. But we know better than that–we know there should’ve been a tattoo beneath those boobs!
We like to expose you to the cool and curious facets of the adult industry, and so when we heard about a young Arabic stripper who was crowned Miss Exxxotica Miami 2012 and took it as a cue to start making porn, we knew we had to share her with you. Her name is Ameera Milan, she’s a mega-babe, she has a brand new website, and best of all, she answered some questions for us!
We wouldn’t really call this model “wild” by any stretch of imagination, but at the same time, we wouldn’t dare step foot in her territory or make any sudden movements around her. You can tell by the back arching and the constant rubbing of boobs that this young woman definitely has her claws out, and we don’t want to catch a scratch–then we’d become werewildwomen.
For once, let’s not look at Dorith’s breasts because we have an eternal hunger for breasts. Let us ogle in the spirit of brotherhood (sisterhood? perverthood?) as Dorith gets down with her own bad self and checks out the fine set of tits she’s sporting. Everybody can use a helping hand, but only certain hotties need your helping eyeballs.
Uh, damn. We imagine getting licked up and down by this chick Lizz and her velvet tongue would make us feel as good as a sleepy kitty stretching out in the sunshine. Except more boner-y. Yeah, we basically wish our whole body could get all tongued up by Lizz. Is there such a thing as a full-body boner? If not, we think we could make it happen if this situation came to be. She just wields her tongue-balls with such prowess we would simply melt under their touch. But argh, what happens when a full-body boner melts? Lizz, you’ve got us feeling all kinds of sensations and we’re not sure how to make heads or tails of them. But we’d still kill to be touched by you. We’ll deal with the consequences.
On March 15th, Shannon Larratt took his own life after years of battling a chronic condition that put him in so much pain he didn’t think it feasible to go on. You might not know who Shannon Larratt is–like many innovators he is not a household name–but every single alt porn site, publisher of extreme pornography and kinky sex, and tattooed adult performer owes him a huge debt. He is considered an icon to thousands of people literally worldwide for his groundbreaking work in education and unification of body modification artists and practitioners of extreme kink.
Or wait, should we say piercings? We always forget if Rihanna has one nipple pierced or two. Damn, we’re slipping! This is the kind of thing that will get us kicked off the team at our weekly Sexual Rihanna Pub Quiz. (Grand prize is the shame of being obsessed with Rihanna’s sex life, tempered by the fact that everybody else is obsessed with it too.)
We haven’t typically found ourselves all verklempt and misty-eyed upon witnessing a hottie fisting, but this one really has us full of emotions. The way this be-vagina-blasting husband whispers, “That was incredible, baby” and lovingly coos to his “good little slutty pussy” basically has us grabbing for our tissues. One, to wipe the tender tears from our eyes, and two, to clean up our dildos after indulging in a good ol’ weep’n'fap.
What can we say about Ebonee Davis, this gorgeous model with a sultry gaze, great breasts, pierced nipples, and lips so soft that we want to fall asleep on them? We demand to know how Terry and Ebonee found each other, and what they plan on doing together in the future now that we’ve become addicted to the sight of her body.
To answer that, we’d have to know a lot more about these two ladies, how easily they orgasm in general, how sensitive their respective lips are, and a bunch of other fine details. It’s much easier to ask a different question. Can we come from watching them kiss? Yes.
How could we not side with the housos? They’re packed into government housing, trying to scrape by any way they can, finding love in hopeless places, and then the authorities show up with big ol’ machine guns! And for what? To stop their threesome? Oh, wait, the housos might be smuggling some drugs. We guess that changes things.
Georgia Elizabeth, a darling twenty year-old from Newcastle, is a fine young woman with excellent taste in lingerie and no reservations about taking pictures of her pierced nipples for the whole world to see. You might not call that stately, but we do, and to prove you wrong we’ll start our own country and make Georgia its monarch. She’ll be dripping with furs and jewels and governmental control and still keep those nips out.
Ever get the feeling a pin-up girl was made in a lab just for you? We know we’ve sung Rebecca’s praises before – her purple hair, her mad style, her badass tattoos, her sleek bod and soft luscious curves, her big doe eyes – but this set really takes the cake. Rebecca is bangin’, goofy, and seems really at home in her body.Come to think of it, if that body was where you lived, you might feel right at home in it, too.
Because, you know, why go for the run-of-the-mill monotony of single-rope jumping when you can experience the challenge, the breathtaking wonder, the spectacle that comes from doubling up? This cock is basically leaping for joy at the opportunity to get into things with some binary biddies. We wouldn’t be surprised to see it commence with back handsprings or breakdancing moves after just a little twirl with these two. Although, for logistical reasons, it should probably just stick with blowing its load. Yeah, that’s safest for everyone.
Perhaps you’ll look at these pictures and be discomforted because they mix big fantastic pornstar boobs with a super tiny chihuahua puppy who has great facial expressions. If that’s the case, you’re bringing us down, please go away. The rest of us will get to enjoy every last picture of Brittany and her brand new puppy and we’re going to have a fucking amazing time doing so.
You know what we find fascinating? This isn’t the first or even the second movie about mixed martial arts produced by Tapout that features gratuitous nudity. It is, however, the second movie like that to feature both Kimbo Slice and Bai Ling that was made in 2010 and released on video. Those MMA pervs know what they like and they stick to it. Good for them.
Actually, cats give Igor the sniffles, and some were in the room with he and Krissie while this shoot went down, so our homie had to do the entire shoot in ten minutes before his sinuses burst. We suspect the whole “I’m allergic to cats” thing was just the excuse he gave for Krissie’s pretty titties making him all emotional.
Ah, the muted tones of a flaxen-ginger haired pussy and the shimmering, mother-of-pearl droplets of a juicy jizzload — these complementary hues would look just as comfortable on the purely emotional canvas of Rothko as they do in the high-definition of a macro lens focused on a creampie.
