A luxurious hottub teeming with beautiful babes whacking off in turn — is this heaven? Perhaps. And hey, it’s Friday, so we may as well besmirch the name of a charitable drive all for the love of lesbians. It’s not like we’re a stranger to besmirching, as it were. And when it comes down to it, we think a Toys for Twats initiative would be pretty successful…
Who cares if the story of the Banquet of Chestnuts is considered foolish by most historians? Certainly not us. All we care about is the fact that Showtime has the gumption to show us what possibly went down on that fateful night in October of 1501: food, fucking, and prizes for the cardinals who proved their virility above others.
Anikka Albrite, Lea Lexis, Krissy Lynn, and Maya Hills are like members of a sexy marching band, stepping and twirling to a pulsing drumbeat — but instead of playing the clarinet or oboe, they play the BBC (oh, okay, I guess we can begrudgingly say skin flute). It may seem that “sexy” and “marching band” are oxymoronic terms, but when the band is named “Orgy Masters”, well, tradition goes out the window. We’d rather hear the sweet rhythms of skin slappin’ skin than “Rocky Top” any day.
“Big Tit Orgy” is the type of movie you watch if your ability to suspend disbelief is as shot out as the screen of that TV set on your front porch, and your expectations of catching porn performers exchanging legitimate feelings are as low as the helicopters buzzing your home.
We figure out that this “slumber party” is just a pretext for sex when it’s broad daylight, no one brought any pajamas, there’s no snacks, they’re watching porn, and they’re gifting each other dildos.
Skin says, “I want to see a girl getting fucked” — truer words have ne’er been spoken. And you, ma’am, fulfill your own desire to the hilt because we don’t think we’ve ever seen a chick get fucked as well as you do. As Ms. Diamond declares, sex may not always be pretty or beautiful… but with her involved even the roughest fuck gets a fighting chance.
We may not be going to a wild European sex club packed with stripper studs, but tonight is New Year’s Eve and we’ll be damned if we don’t carry this pervtastic orgy spirit along with us in our party adventures. Luckily we’ve got the kind of friends who don’t mind a little feelin’ up, and might like a sexy striptease to “Auld Lang Syne”.
After several minutes of what-ifs followed by a long full body hug, we decided to go and headed out of the hotel. Five minutes later we were standing in a smoky locker room, handing over the admission fee and giving fake names to the hostess. D wasn’t prepared in any way dress-wise for this event, so he ended up just walking around in his boxers. I stripped down to my slut wear and felt incredibly self-conscious. D told me to pretend we were at a Halloween party and that I was just in costume. That helped quite a bit, actually.
But we see no reason not to, especially when the pedestal is found in the center of an orgy that overfloweth with horny boys and babes. In anticipation of a sultry, wild and sex-filled weekend, the perverse desires of our greedy loins are sprung into fuck flick form.
…and by that I mean there’s always a good reason for a “Big Boob Orgy.”
Or, sort of. Gathering the Czech Republic’s most stylish Eurobabes and boys together is all well and good — but our favorite looks are the ones on their faces, which seem to show a real zeal for public fucking.
It’s a European sex party, and you’re invited! The soundtrack might sound atrocious, but don’t be too quick to storm the DJ decks… That’s the secret to getting the lust juice flowing.
Here’s post-racial America for you: one of the first guys through the door in the unfortunately-titled interracial film “Teen Smackdown Orgy” says: “Awesome. You guys want cock?”
It makes for a beautiful sight indeed. It’s “Psycho Love 3″, and all parties involved are being compelled to action by their genitals — it’s maddening!
Imagine a party where everywhere you turn you find naked babes bouncing, sweat dripping down their bodies, faces flushed with excitement. Is it some strange new dance craze?
We’re not saying it’s the most original idea in the world, but it draws on some of the greatest porn tropes known to humankind. Lesbians, oily, in a group, doing thing to each other. It’s like mixing Oreos and milk: of course that’s what you should be doing!
There are the pale, bare-breasted ladies, the fully cocked Soviet studs, the cunnilingus, the fucking, the angry-looking mustachioed men. Wait, what? Well, we’ll pay them no mind. It’s the orgy part we’re after!
Listen, we’re not saying you specifically deserve to have a bunch of juicy Brazilian asses lining the halls of your castle, because maybe that’s not your thing. What we mean is every single person should have something in his or her life that is as glorious as a “Big Ass Anal Brazilian Orgy.” Look at those five beautiful words. Don’t you wish you had five words that defined your whole existence, too?
