We are really into the subgenre of porn that involves oiling up juicy asses and making them bounce around before fucking. Booty bouncing is totally the new lava lamp. We just wanna watch wet butts jiggle enthusiastically all evening to unwind.
Good on you for giving it a shot though! You have all the basic tools needed to slip and/or slide: a plastic sheet, some moisture (or in this case, lubricant or oil), and an extreme love of the belly flop. You just need to spread that sheet out and give yourself a running start. You’ll get it next time, girl. In the meanwhile, you are looking so hot.
This babe is so fit she could probably win a relay race while cowgirl chairing this dildo all at the same time. We don’t know how to explain the logistics, but we’re pretty sure it could happen. Look at that bangin’ superheroine body! She can probably fly, too, dudes. Like imagine what she could with that dildo midair.
We’re fans of a neatly trimmed bush around these parts, and Francesca Le’s rockin’ quite a nice down-there ‘do. But, knowing her, she can’t keep it neat for too long. Out comes a liberal slathering of oil that turns a tidy bush into a slick, glistening mess.
Ah, Malibu. Where the sun dances on pristine beaches, shines across mountain views, and illuminates stunning beach babes getting their pussies pounded on alfresco rooftops. What a magical place.
Petroleum products have a fascinating number of uses, but none are as noble and necessary as the polishing of pornstars. Glistening naked people? Why, that’s our bread and butter! Honestly, there are some days when we simply cannot bring ourselves to look at a couple of people banging unless they have been drenched with baby oil and shine like dragon scales.
It’s no secret we’re superfans of the generally bodacious British bust. So when some of our favorite specimens are made to glisten with oil, lit just so for some intimate close ups, it’s all we can do not to paint our faces and streak around the stadium.
You know what the best thing about playing with oil during sex is? Having the foresight to do it someplace that’s easy to clean. After you’re done having the best, smoothest, most slippery fuck of your life, you will feel like an adult because of your responsible planning. Or try
We have the strange feeling that we’ve posted this video before. It’s entirely possible, given our endless posting habits and poor memories, but maybe this deja vu comes from somewhere else. What if we’ve been dreaming of this oiled up beauty masturbating and now it’s really happening? If we haven’t
There are some who say that fucking machines run on hormones and high energy, but that’s only half the story. For despite their lack of cogs and dials, fucking machines are, in fact, machines like any other—and to run at their highest level of efficiency, they need a heck of
And with that, human dread may vanish. None will fear death knowing that the world beyond is a garden filled with comfy couches, baby oil fountains, and Jada Stevens’s perfect butt. Afterlife? More like ass-terlife! Members of the “Church of Bootyism” spend every weekend making sure their various naughty parts
ExxonMobile, BP, and now Chris Streams. These bastards think they can spill oil everywhere and still make money off it it? How dare they! At least Chris is only guilty of spilling mineral oil, and the only wildlife he’s impacted has been a handful of naked pornstars. Ok, we guess
Are breasts better when they are larger than average, non-Caucasian, and moistened? Who could possibly tell? But they certainly are appealing when referred to as Big Wet Black Tits, and when the person sporting them is reality-star-turned-pornstress Bethany Benz. Benz, who appeared as “Caviar” (thank her Russian-Nigerian heritage) on the
For example, she has a great appetite for cock and mighty fine ass as well! That’s probably why Mike Adriano drenches her rear with lube before plowing into her doggie style: he wants her butt to shine like it was meant to. Ok, so he puts lube on her breasts
So maybe they didn’t take any of our casting suggestions. That’s okay. We’re not hurt (well, not that hurt, anyway)—and even if we were, the soothing beat and gyrations of these (wait for it) big, wet asses would be enough to soothe even the most butthurt of feelings. You know
We’ve only seen the cover and the cast list, but we’re pretty sure Elegant Angel’s “Oiled Up” is a porn we are going to enjoy. (Although what differentiates it from, say, “Big Wet Asses/Tits” remains to be seen.) (Elegant Angel)
We could give you some long diatribe about transporting a format designed for more liberal European audiences to an American public has resulted in a watered down, and ultimate boring, take on a great genre. But why say all of that, when we could just tell that you Maxim Argentina
