A masturbation movie? How refreshing! It’s feels like it’s been ages since we’ve seen one of these, and yet we feel we need masturbation porn now more than ever. If anyone forgets why it’s important to treat women fairly, give them equal pay, and let them control their own bodies, make them watch this and say, “Look. They don’t need us, man.”

Phoenix Marie is a brick house. You want her to show up in some Bukowski story or R. Crumb comic out-drinking the mailman. But since we don’t make those movies too much, it’s good to see her in warrior drag, squiring around Lexi Belle, who looks tiny by comparison.

We’ve already seen some of the swords, sandals, and sex that’s packed into Exquisite Films’ latest parody, but now–as if by magic–we get to see that sex in motion. Here, for the very first time, is the hardcore trailer for “Xena Warrior Princess XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody.”

These are wintry economic times. And just as women had to learn to play baseball and other manly jobs during WWII, the ladies of the current recession are learning to play traditional male porn roles. And the men are just passive receptionist of their cum. Women using their bodies as their means of production never looked so good.

Behold, the ruthless pillager turned noble adventurer is in a new chapter of life, and she has tossed her armor aside. Fret not, for Xena hasn’t given up the way of the warrior, she’s just realized that the tight leather duds get make it hard to go down on Gabrielle. Friends, this is a porn parody that powerfully needed to be made.

“This Ain’t the Smurfs XXX” isn’t the first blue movie based on Saturday morning cartoons. It isn’t even the first blue blue movie (that would be “This Ain’t Avatar XXX”), but it is the first blue blue movie filmed in Larry Flynt’s office.

Lara Croft (Chanel Preston), like any beautiful woman, has no friends, just potential betrayers. The adventurer must fuck her way through danger, as well as India, Peru, and the American Southwest in this parody that is about as exciting as the source material.

Porn that parodies popular television advertisements? Hey, this is something we’ve never seen done before! Is that a good thing? It could be. Either this a fresh avenue for smutty spoofery or parody porn finally jumped the shark. America’s Favorite Commercials Gone Porn Studio: Hustler Director: Otto Bauer Cast: Lizz

Look at Nicole Aniston sucking that cock: she’s so above it. “Can you suck my cock?” asked Derrick Pierce. Uh, duh, she can totally suck his cock, what a silly question. To retaliate for such an offense, Nicole is going to fellate Derrick really extremely well. That’ll show him. As

All pornstars work their hardest to excite your senses and improve your blood circulation, but there are a select few who like to take that one extra little step that ensures they’ll be haunting your masturbatory fantasies. This is their story. When Jynx Maze gets called in to handle a

If you were to ask us what two words are horribly frightening when combined, we’d immediately say “Revenge Cuckold” because, with apologies to Henry Kissinger, spite is the most powerful aphrodisiac. And Lord knows these women have a lot of spite to fuck with, because their husbands have been screwing

Combining cable news and hardcore pornography? That right there is what you’d call a mixed menace. Unfortunately, “This Ain’t Fox News XXX” is less than the sum of its parts, and we end up with weak porn about surprisingly un-evil personalities. This Ain’t Fox News XXX Studio: Hustler Director: Stuart

“I find I write better without pants on,” says Hank Moody (Anthony Rosano) in this splendid porndaptation of “Californication.” “So I’m doing that.” (I guess the Gawker office is on Google Maps again.) The Official Californication Parody Studio: Diabolic Director: Nate Liquor Starring: Anthony Rosano, Bella Bauxx, Ashli Orion, Nicole

There have been many iterations of the “Pound the Round” series, and each of them rough and rotund in its own special way, but “Pound the Round 8″ features Sara Vandella’s oiled-up ass and nothing can compete with that. And when you consider that the “Pound the Round 8″ team