Let’s say you’re the world-famous DJ and producer known as Felix da Housecat, you have a single called “I Just Want to Be a Lesbian,” and you need a music video for it. What do you do? We’ll tell you: you pair your sick jam with a collection of cheesy, raunchy, retro girl-girl smut and post it to YouPorn. Because you’re a badass.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s going on here? Miley Cyrus doing something naughty? This sounds familiar, but we still can’t believe it. We’re willing to believe that Miley would be placed at the top of Maxim’s Hot 100, we’re able to accept this picture of her naked back and a hint of ass, but we’re not so sure about this outtake.

Yes, it’s another one of those pictures that appeared and then quickly disappeared from Rihanna’s Instagram. This was accompanied with the caption, “And that a #wrap!!! #pouritupvideoshoot #whenday2becomesday3 #whenthephuckdid8amgetthere.” How else are you going to celebrate the end of a music video shoot? Flowers and a trip to Denny’s? Hell naw. Thong on thong on ass. That’s how we ball out.

Laura Miller is an Argentine pop star who’s been making music since the late ’80s, and by now she’s well aware that accidents can show up at any second and in front of any audience. Case in point, her tanktop couldn’t support her big breasts while simultaneously enduring the sweet motions of her microphone arm, and lo, a titty popped forth!

It took a few years to see the revealing outtakes from Lady Gaga’s V Magazine shoot, and the same can be said of Jennifer Lopez’s outtakes, but Miley’s outtakes showed up like bam, like fresh out the grease! Does that mean Miley Cyrus is a bigger celebrity than Gaga or

Or, from another angle, she’s nearly naked and that makes us go “Daaaamn, girl.” It’s not that we’re surprised–we expect Miley to keep pushing the envelope and we know Mario Testino always brings the raunch dressing–it’s just that Miley is about a skip, hop, and a jump away from being the next alt queer pornstar of your dreams and we wonder if she knows that.

Her butt might not be able to dribble, but it sure makes us drool! “The things Ill do to get my mans attention when the Lakers r playing…” writes Aubrey. At first glance, we thought she was walking around in a thong just to distract her man from the TV, but maybe her butt somehow caused the Spurs to win last night’s game. Who can say?

What does the sun do to your body, Miley? We’re not asking from a vitamin D and UV standpoint, we’re asking about your heart. Do you feel the photons awakening something inside you? Does the day seem made for flesh? Do clothes suddenly feel wrong? It’s a new season, Miley, time for a new wardrobe (but please keep those shorts in regular rotation).

Last week we saw some outtakes of Lady Gaga from V Magazine, and this week we have Jennifer Lopez from the same exact source! Is V holding a huge stash of pictures of celebrities with their saucy bits hanging out? Is there any way we can get a job at V Mag and become the official organizers/curators/horders of such material? It’s our true calling.

Good things come to those who wait! Case in point, we first saw these poodle-y pictures of Lady Gaga in V Magazine back in 2009, but a few revealing outtakes just surfaced and there is some serious nipple on display! Plus: merkin! Who doesn’t love a good loaf of merkin in their eyeballs?

We know this is odd. Why are we showing Beyonce’s outfit when those aren’t really her nipples? Because imagine if they were. Also, this reminds us of that obscene George Clooney as Batman costume with the rubber nipples, except this has glitter so Bey is more Batman than Batman.

We’re pretty sure her hair doesn’t look like that these days, and we know for certain that there should be a big tattoo beneath her boobs, so when/where did this come from? And who organized the pictures into a handy little mosaic for us?

Taylor Momsen looks quite cute here, but perhaps we’re only saying that because she’s more clothed than usual. Actually, no, the reason we think she looks extra foxy is because she looks like an extra on the set of “Buffy” waiting to do something in the background of a pep rally. Yeah, that’s our fetish.

Hasn’t anyone ever told Miley not to throw asses on glass balconies? It seems like celebrities forget this all the time (and we forget how many times we’ve used Shakespeare and glass house jokes). Anyhow, Miley gets a pass because she was also spotted smoking a, uh, hand-rolled cigarette between her thumb and forefinger. You know, like people do.

Perhaps it doesn’t sound like the most exciting guest spot in a video that also involves Nicki Minaj in a sex scene with Lil Wayne (and, of course, ample shots of that massive ass of hers), but little surprises like this really delight us, especially when they show up on Youtube and under the all-powerful banner of Vevo. You have to take the small pleasures and savor them!

Yeah, Cheryl, tell us! Or are you not wearing panties at all? Perhaps we’re not looking up Cheryl Cole’s skirt, we’re looking at a 3D representation of Cheryl Cole that the real Cheryl Cole sends out for publicity purposes, and all we’re seeing is the black void of empty graphics that was never properly rendered. (We need to stop watching “The Matrix.”)

The majority of the video is Robin Thicke, T.I., and Pharrell Williams singing in front of a white background with various topless and bethonged women (including Emily Ratajkowski!) dancing around. The rest is 9% music and 1% big silver balloons that spell out “ROBIN THICKE HAS A BIG DICK.” Best music video ever.

Explanatory scenario 1: “Una dear?” queried Mrs. Healy. “How does one summon the paparazzi?” “Oh, it’s easy, mum. Watch me.” Explanatory scenario 2: “Hey, mom!” “Yes, Una?” “Check out this sweet knee tattoo I just got!”

Word on the street is that this image leaked out of Rihanna’s private stash, but we have our doubts. Usually, when someone presents an alleged celebrity sex picture, we examine the face first; in this case, we can’t. So, how well do you know Rihanna’s ass?

Or wait, should we say piercings? We always forget if Rihanna has one nipple pierced or two. Damn, we’re slipping! This is the kind of thing that will get us kicked off the team at our weekly Sexual Rihanna Pub Quiz. (Grand prize is the shame of being obsessed with Rihanna’s sex life, tempered by the fact that everybody else is obsessed with it too.)