Whichever eyewear company Sean Michaels uses, they should send him some cash.

For real, we just don’t know what to do with a title like “Black Owned 4.” What does “Black Owned” mean? Is that like when a pre-owned car was in the possession of a black person? That’s a weird distinction to make. Is Jules Jordan using “owned” like gamers use it? Like pwned? Does Mandingo pwn females with his wang?

When someone uses the phrase “racially motivated,” it’s usually for something bad. Like, no one ever feels racially motivated to hold the door open at the bank, and you never hear about a Chinese buffet being racially motivated to host a super cheap early bird special, it’s always crime that gets the epithet. Fortunately, Jules Jordan, Mike John, and a Benetton ad’s worth of pornstars are here to change that.

For many, female ejaculation feels like the great white whale of female sexuality: rumored to be out there, but near impossible to actually experience firsthand. But according to Tristan Taormino, things needn’t be so fraught. After all, “Every woman has a gspot, so every woman has the potential to ejaculate.”

Phoenix Marie ditches her husband to make a play for a very appreciative Mr. Marcus in “Housewives Gone Black 14.” Maybe it isn’t a post-racial America after all.

What can we say about “Phat Black Juicy Anal Booty 9″ that hasn’t been said better by Dr. Cornel West? Still, we must say that this movie is raunchy and real, sweaty and sordid.

Nica Noelle’s Noelle’s “My Girlfriend’s Mother, Vol. 3″ surprised and delighted me with copious amounts of hot sex and a rather staggering number of female orgasms.

Look at this picture of Prince Yahshua hugging Jada Stevens’s ass. Frame this picture, keep it by your desk, and whenever you feel sad or lonely, you can look at it and say, “Oh yeah, butt headlock!” and you will know that there is true love in this world.

Especially when you are the one getting your dick sucked by two.

And when those two are Skin Diamond and Ashli Orion (in what we believe is a clip from “Overnight”?). Dude. Game over.

Inari Vachs is worried that her daughter, Alyssa Branch, shouldn’t be dating anyone her first semester in college, but she lets her bring Joey Brass home for dinner anyway. Big mistake! Instant attraction! Also in this fine movie: Nica Noelle gets lovingly fucked by Mr. Marcus. Join us, won’t you?

Well, James Deen certainly is having the cultural moment, isn’t he? In short shrift, the dashing young pornstar has been profiled by Good Magazine, Nightline, and the New York Observer, with the possibility of a role in a Bret Easton Ellis movie being dangled in front of him as well.

We’re not saying it’s wrong to call a booty phat, but it’s not exactly something you hear these days. And when we hear “Phat Ass White Booty 7,” we don’t think of Phoenix Marie’s gloriously round and poundable mound, we think of Chris Tucker in the ’90s, and that guy does not have a nice butt.

Whatever we need to do to get Misty Stone in a bubblebath or Rihanna Rimes just about anywhere is worth a try.

We’re used to seeing Nica Noelle movies about younger men lusting after older women, but now she’s flipped the script and FILFs are chasing twenty-something year-old babes! What should we call these gentlemen cougars? Bobcats? Would they like it if we called them Big Poppa?

I was pretty excited about reviewing “jessica drake’s Guide To Wicked Sex: Anal,” since I’m generally a fan of educational porn. And yes, it was great, but a lot different from Tristan Taormino’s or Carol Queen’s videos. Let’s break down how. jessica drake (no capitals, really) is, in fact, a

Can you believe “Bad Girls 6″ is already here? It seems like we were just freaking out about Stoya’s double penetration scene in “Bad Girls 5,” and now she’s doing interracial with Mr. Marcus. Can we please slow down the pace of our dreams coming true? We’d like to savor

Yes, that is a terrible pun. Forgive me. I’m kind of scraping the bottom of my porn barrel (there’s not really a barrel, but that would be amazing) with this one because I’m running out of unwatched DVDs from work, but I actually really enjoyed it. Guess what the cover

Well, at least, it’s her “first” as long as you don’t count the scenes she’s shot with Katsuni, Adrenalynn, Marie Luv, Mariah Milian, Shay Jordan, or Selena Rose, anyways (because come on, everyone knows that two people are only of different races if one of them is a black man

Whenever you’re exercising, be sure to follow the three P’s: practice, preparation, and pacing. This is true for every sort of event, whether you’re running a marathon, lifting giant orbs in a Strongman competition, or increasing the dimensions of your anus. Liza Del Sierra knows how to handle her holes

Are you a curious explorer interested in dipping your toes into the waters of anal play? Are you an experienced anal player looking to step things up a notch? Do you like watching all sorts of people get their butts did? Then step right up, because this DVD is totally