We don’t even really have the space, but we’ll make it work for her. If she just stays perched up there on the couch like that, she doesn’t even have to pay rent. All we ask is that she let us sup upon her fantastic puss on occasion. Move over, Diane Deluna! Or on second thought, stay right there. We’ll make room for both of y’all. It’ll be fun! We’ll make family dinners, watch some great TV together, share some laughs and cunnilingus duties. This will work out mighty fine.

We felt the need to explicitly include “professional” in today’s Top Ten roundup because — well, we’re not saying amateurs can’t aspire to these moves, these consummate professional mannerisms, but… there’s a reason these ladies are the creamiest of the crop. Dexterous dick-wranglers, all, and we think everyone could stand to take a step back and watch the masters at work. Tori, Skin, Jasmine, Charley and pals — show us how it’s done.

Some may believe that humor and sex are mutually exclusive — but we think the two go hand in hand (or wherever the case may be) quite nicely. Parody porn may get us in a special way because at its outset, we’re taken into a world of lighthearted frivolity and jokes. But then it all gets subverted as perversity seeps in. Sometimes dipping your toes in the water first makes for a more sensual experience than diving right in!

Low energy? Feeling depressed? Why not try an exercise regimen that doesn’t lose fat, but instead accentuates it by making it bounce around joyfully? You need ass clapping in your life, and we have ten hot pornstars here to show you how it’s done. Loosen your legs up and play along at home!

We’re not the biggest fans of going fishing — what with messy hook baiting, disappointing little catches, and exposure to the elements. One thing we do appreciate, though, is a babe who doesn’t mind getting netted… and who gets wilder in that shiz than a river dolphin leaping upstream.

Phoenix Marie made a lovely monarch for October–her economic strategies were simple yet helpful, her clothespins-on-genitals strategies stung quite nicely–but it’s a new month and a new pornstar must take the throne. Misty Stone has ascended, and so we celebrate as we always do: by sharing a buttload of sexy photos of our jGrrl courtesy of Juliland.

The Kama Sutra is one of those cultural artifacts most of us know only by osmosis, like “Moby Dick” or “Dianetics.” Now Adam & Eve has released a 2-disc movie (with a pamphlet!) vividly illustrating some of the more popular positions.

Few porn stars are as universally “Oh HELL yes”ed as Misty Stone. Glamorous without being inaccessible, Sexy without having “porn star” written all over her, a 21st century fox you’d still have to fight Grandpa over, and she looks great on Alexis Texas.

Not only are these women having sex with each other, they’re also solving problems through the sex. Doesn’t that speak to your heart? Interracial lesbian porn is truly the ultimate symbol of love and unity in the world: you have women conquering fears, conquering clothing, holding hands, putting said hands on each other’s genitals, making said genitals shake, quiver, and come, and everybody goes home with money and memories.

Most low-budget weekend porn parodies have no choice but to look like they were made in a weekend, especially since Porn Valley has been on parody rations for the last several years. But “Family Guy XXX” is a pleasant exception.

Whatever we need to do to get Misty Stone in a bubblebath or Rihanna Rimes just about anywhere is worth a try.

Every once in a while, there comes a porn so shocking, so mind blowing, so wrong…that, well, you know it had to be put together by Lee Roy Myers. Yes, the man who brought you Marge and Homer getting it on has done it again, this time bringing “Family Guy” to porny life. (Although, we have to admit, this one is a little more obvious as XXX source material).

A really long time ago a boyfriend and I snuck into the adult section at the local indie video store and rented a VHS tape of Deborah Sundahl’s “How to Female Ejaculate: Find Your G-Spot.” I don’t remember it really helping us along on my quest to squirt — after all, Sundahl also wrote the book on it, literally, which I’d already read — but it was interesting and hot and, well, that’s maybe a story for another time. The guide had a certain crunchy queer Bay Area vibe to it that I liked. Sundahl does have a guide specifically for couples, but this wasn’t it; this was sort of a space pioneered by feminists like Sundahl, Annie Sprinkle, Carol Queen (who is in the guide), Nina Hartley, and Susie Bright. It would have turned off many a “typical” hetero dude looking for some wank material.

She must have a limit, right? Everyone has a point in which they say, “Nuh-uh, there is simply too much dick to deal with on my own; I’m calling for backup.” Still, we’ve never seen Misty ask for help, and if she’s dealing with Lexington Steele on her own, she probably won’t ever need a partner.

Club Elite is a mixed bag of sexy, enthusiastic female performers, tedious sex scenes, and weird behind-the-scenes stuff that comes off looking just plain unprofessional. Elegant Angel calls it “reality/superstar porn,” but reality doesn’t necessarily make for good porn. The performers are all beautiful ladies in a nice range of

To be perfectly honest, when I saw Julia Ann’s lush (but headless) frame on the cover of “jessica drake’s Guide to Female Masturbation,” it wasn’t female masturbation I was thinking about. jessica drake’s Guide to Female Masturbation Studio: Wicked Director: jessica drake Starring: jessica drake, Julia Ann, Lily Labeau, Misty

Don’t be alarmed that there is a lot of kissing in this movie. All the kissing is really hard, like the type one does when all the other erectile organs are occupied. Seduction, featuring Kristina Rose Studio: Elegant Angel Director: Mason Starring: Asa Akira, Kristina Rose, Misty Stone, Alexis Texas,

As overcome with ennui as we can be, we must face the incontrovertible evidence that, yes, there is occasionally something new under the Sun. Who would’ve thought 2012 would introduce us to the concept of black porn lesbians? Here are the delightful Missy Stone and Rihanna Rimes (and, if you

For the record, Jules Jordan’s assertion that these are “the hottest stars from the states” is somewhat struck down by the fact that Katsuni is from France and Juelz Ventura is from Brazil. That being said, you can’t spell “citizenship” without “penis,” and these girls certainly get their fair share

It is completely sensible for people to fuck their brains out when facing extinction, and in Sam Hain’s excellent “Horizon,” we are especially glad it happens to be these people. Horizon Studio: Wicked Director: Sam Hain Starring: jessica drake, Kaylani Lei, Kimberly Kane, Misty Stone, Alektra Blue, Aiden Starr, Bobbi