After the first “Black Anal Addiction” film hit stores, Mike Adriano’s family staged an intervention to address his addiction to eating black anuses. After that, a battalion of Mike’s fans staged an intervention on Mike’s family to ask them not to intervene with Mike’s way of life. Call us enablers if you must, we prefer to think of ourselves as conservationists and anthropologists (and black anal addicts by proxy).
The other thing about butt sex is that it’s always fun to watch. First of all, juicy asses are just fantastic to watch bouncing around the place. And assholes are such tight yet elastic little places that are fascinating to watch expand. So everybody remember, go slow and use plenty of lube and have fun!
Now that old papa Ratzinger is a shepherd without a flock, he must feel somewhat adrift. Fortunately for him, Mike Adriano is a compassionate man, and wishes to offer him a place of importance in the Church of Bootyism. Mike will, of course, remain Ass Pope for life, but he’s willing to let Benedict give out an osculum infame every now and then.
Director and first-rate fucker Mike Adriano has been around the block. And that means he knows how to pick the freshest, highest quality asses that the market has to offer. He’s like a bespectacled chef’s aide hitting the produce aisle at the greengrocer’s, thunking on watermelons and squeezing tomatoes to get at the most ideal, perfectly beautiful and tastiest specimens there are.
There are several disembodied and gaping asses on the cover of “Mad Asses” and a full 131 of them on the (wait for it) back side. So we kinda already got that this was the “All Anal Edition.”
When presented with a title like “Tattooed Anal Sluts,” you have to know that no one involved would even use 2/3 of those words in their secretest OK Cupid profile. Still: Bonnie Rotten.
It seems like Mike Adriano’s whole goal is to get you to notice as much anatomy as possible: he chooses girls with the fattest asses, he oils them up, spreads them apart, pokes at things with his veiny, throbbing cock, and all of this assaults your senses with detail. Pores, hairs, folds, and flesh colors all bloom from the screen in a carnal kaleidoscope.
It only takes one look at Angelica Heart’s face to tell that it would probably be a lot of fun to fuck her ass.
Medieval scholars and theologians pondered this question for years, but they were far too prudish to whip out their wangs and do the math. Fortunately, Mike Adriano has all of Thomas Aquinas’s brilliance and none of his hangups, so he’s stacking as many hot teens on the tip of his turgid cock as he can!
Little known fact: the exclamation point was modeled after combined shape of pussy and ass as seen in the position that Samantha Saint is demonstrating in the picture above. There are no words bold enough to describe the beauty, excitement, and anticipation associated with such a sight, so new punctuation was born.
This year, tell Mom you’re grateful you weren’t an ass baby.
It is like watching a sex clown. The impressively constructed French pornstress Anissa Kate sits spread-legged in an outfit designed like a 14-year-old’s MySpace page and sucking the life out of a lollipop.
At no time during my conversation with Rai did I think “MILF” or “Cougar.” Instead, because I am a gentleman, I thought, “There are certain women I know who are Jealous As Fuck of this lady.”
Then again, Magellan didn’t decide to travel around the Earth an additional eight times because it made him come. As far as we know. The point is that all you fools who still believe that butts are flat are about to have your minds blown by the spherical (really, peach-shaped) glory of Gia Steel’s giant ass.
We don’t care if your glass of sluttiness is half-full or half-empty because nobody wants to play with a girl who only backs her half-ass up. These ladies are 100% down for whatever, and conveniently, Mike Adriano just renamed his cock “Whatever.” So who are these mythical One-Hundred Percenters who
“I’m going to suck the spit out of your asshole when he fucks you,” declares Phoenix Marie to London Keyes in “The Spit And the Speculum,” my choice for Clever Title of the Week. “I can’t wait,” says Keyes. If you’re going to make a movie as clinical and graphic
And with that, human dread may vanish. None will fear death knowing that the world beyond is a garden filled with comfy couches, baby oil fountains, and Jada Stevens’s perfect butt. Afterlife? More like ass-terlife! Members of the “Church of Bootyism” spend every weekend making sure their various naughty parts
And yet, it’s also about the orgasms that you could be having. How do you feel about all of this focus on orgasms? We’re here for you. We want to sit down and discuss this with you. It’s real talk time. You know, sex isn’t all about orgasms. We’re concerned
It would be criminal—simply abhorrent—for Mike Adriano not to bite Ava Addams’s huge tits. For one, it’s a fun way to test the relative squishiness. Second, Ava really likes to have her breasts nibbled. So not biting them would disappoint everybody. It’d be like if Mike didn’t get to stick
For example, she has a great appetite for cock and mighty fine ass as well! That’s probably why Mike Adriano drenches her rear with lube before plowing into her doggie style: he wants her butt to shine like it was meant to. Ok, so he puts lube on her breasts