The Olympics may be well over, but there are plenty more gymnastics to be had. This must be training for those underground events that are kept from prying general public eyes. Yes, this is for the perverse amongst sporting enthusiasts, the ones who think a cock makes for a much more dynamic balance beam than the standard fare. And there’s a whole team that’s practicing the art of the naked couples floor exercise!

We realize it must hurt to not be able to look at the beautiful face of February’s jGrrl, but sometimes we feel so overwhelmed by Melody Jordan that we have to take her in bits and pieces. We’ve seen a GIF of her face mid-orgasm, and now we’re heading down to check out a trailer that’s all about her twat. Next week: maybe we’ll groove upon her ankles!

We’re not sure if it would be a blessing or a curse to be trapped perma-coming for infinity. It sort of seems like the opposite of Sisyphus, with nothing but a flood of bodily satisfaction washing over you forever and ever. But… could you orgasm yourself into oblivion? Coming so hard for so long that you just dissipate into the ether? We suppose no one can know the answers but any various gods who are in control. But it looks to us like Melody Jordan could take it. Well, at least in GIF form. And that’s fine, ’cause we kinda want her sticking around a while.

She’s not actually screwing with a lightsaber. That’d be cool, but irresponsible. However, when she sandwiches the Hitachi Magic Wand between the mattress and her pussy and humps its wildly buzzing head, it sounds like a lightsaber cutting through the air. Maybe if Melody squirts, it’ll sound like the Death Star!

We remember the first time we ever saw Melody Jordan. She was representing her hair color in “Redheads Are Sexy,” letting Erik Everhard wrap her ponytail around his first while she sucked him off, and we said, “Damn. That there is jGrrl material.” Actually, we didn’t have that foresight, but we wish we did, because then we would’ve put money on it.

This year’s Dirty Dozen reflects wise and difficult choices in the Pornographic Arts.

Sometimes us porn bloggers feel bad. Not like, morally bad, but like we should’ve majored in something useful in college. Imagine if we had studied alternative energy! Then we could be the ones doing all this deep anal drilling and preventing the next ice age from showing up next Tuesday. These people are the real heroes!

I picked up an Accidental Facebook Friend recently, and each day she posts these moody but also self-congratulatory pictures of herself with her dyed red hair. Watching the natural testarossas of “Redheads Are Sexy” cemented my resolve to defriend her immediately.

Is there anyone left in the world who doesn’t find redheads sexy? We’re not saying everybody needs to drool over gingers everyday, but we’d be shocked to meet someone who says they’re not down to ogle a few choice babes with orange auras. It takes different strokes to rule the world and not a single one of those strokes ever refused a roll in the sheets with fiery-maned madams.