Just when we think we’ve seen the height of madness, “Shameless” kicks it up another notch with Frank becoming a gay rights activist and Mandy mowing down Karen with her car. At least Kev and Veronica are sticking to their old kinky guns: we can’t handle Veronica and her mom tag-teaming Kev, but we can definitely handle this medical fetish stuff.

If Veronica (Shanola Hampton) wants to stick her finger in her boyfriend’s anus to give him an exam, all power to her. If Mandy (Emma Greenwell) wants to fuck Lip so hard that they smash the house around them, then so be it. If she wants to protect Lip from Karen’s evil machinations by running over Karen with her car, then, uh, there must be a better way to go about that. It’s sweet that she’s committed to getting Lip out of the neighborhood, but vehicular manslaughter (if not murder) is pushing it too far. At least she’s not doing it for sexual reasons! (Right?)

· “Shameless” (sho.com)

Why is it that whenever we go to get a check-up and have to wait in the exam room, we feel sexual elation when the door finally opens and the doctor steps in? Do we have a medical fetish, are we hypochondriacs who see doctors as gods, or are we simply stoked about having affordable health insurance (thanks, Freelancers Union)? There’s nothing sexy about the latter two options, so let’s explore medical fetishes.

Hellooooo, Nurse!

There’s a porn film that focuses on every profession in the world, and in most cases, all it takes is a uniform and some props to turn a pornstar into a fighter pilot; doctors and nurses are no different, all they need is some white garb and a stethoscope and they’re set. However, we think there’s something special about the sexualization of medical professionals, something that goes beyond the typical “I was doing my job and now I’m fucking you” kind of plot-progression you generally find in vocational porn. You may feel attracted to a fireman for running into your burning bedroom, you may want to fuck a cop for keeping you safe from a murderer, but you crave a doctor’s touch because that’s what they’re supposed to do to you.

Not only do medical folk have authority, they also have mastery over the body–your body–thanks to years of schooling and hands-on training. These people are licensed and paid to touch you in ways that few others can, even your super kinky spouse. Most importantly, you trust them! It takes a lot of time and effort to build intimate relationships with people, but the nurse can make you drop trou just by pointing at a lightweight gown and saying, “Change into that.” That’s power, and frankly, we’re turned on just by thinking about it.

[Above: Jessica Bangkok works on getting a promotion from her boss in "Big Breast Nurses 4"]

Surgical-Grade Sex

Although it’s hard to separate the medical professional from the profession, medical fetishism isn’t tethered to the depiction of practitioners. In fact, specific equipment, examination techniques, and medical procedures are most often the focus of the fetish. We can’t even begin to list the kinds of props that can be used for medical kink, but a quick look at MedicalToys.com will give you an idea of the speculums, enemas, restraints, blades, pumps, and other tools that go into the construction of an erotic clinic. (They also have a nifty page with how-to guides, safety precautions, and other bits of information called The Medical Fetish Library.)

As far as procedures go, you can name anything that’s ever been done in a hospital and somebody’s gotten off to it. Wikipedia has a nice looking paragraph that links medical fetishism to a fascination with “intimate examinations such as rectal examination, gynecological examination, urological examination, andrological examination, rectal temperature taking, catheterization, diapering, enemas, injections, the insertion of suppositories, menstrual cups and prostatic massage” as well as the application of anesthetics, temperature play, piercing play, and urethral sounding. When you think about all of the thought, research, precision, and trial and error that have gone into the crafting of every last tool and technique, it’s hard not to look at this stuff with awe.

Since medical fetishism usually involves interaction between a patient and a practitioner (or an institution), it shares a lot of conceptual space with BDSM. Surgical-grade equipment and furniture are often found in bondage and kink scenes, and we suppose that the only real distinction between a naughty doctor and a dominatrix is that the doctor acts in the (fictional) aim of healing. The overlap between medical fetishism and other styles of kink really brings new meaning to the term “carnal knowledge.”

[Above: Dia Zerva isn't working with medical professionals, but those gentlemen definitely know their way around some tools. Via "Everything Butt: Enema Desires"]

By The Skin Of Your Teeth

This may be our ignorance showing, but we wanted to note that while we’ve seen myriad representations of general practitioner medical fetishism in mainstream porn, we’ve never encountered any that revolves around dentistry. Despite all of the attention that the mouth gets–with fellatio, cunnilingus, oral creampies, facials, gags, etc.–the closest we’ve ever gotten to dental fetishism is hearing some pornstar say, “I’m gonna fill her cavities!” before plunging his cock down a girl’s throat. Even if a performer is shown wearing braces, it’s only to emphasize her youthful qualities. Why don’t teeth get the medical loving that the rest of the body does? (Is it because everybody hates going to the dentist?)

And how come nobody ever fetishizes alternative medicine? There are a billion herbal aphrodisiacs sitting in gas stations all across the country, and yet not once have we seen a porn plot that involves Mick Blue sitting around with damiana pumping through his veiny dick.

Friends, we only mention these things to point out that while medical fetishists have explored numerous fascinating avenues for kink, there are still many more left to tap into. We bet chiropracty will be the next hot profession.

[Above: Jessie Andrews isn't the best x-ray technician around, but she certainly is a cutie in "Registered Nurse 3." All clips courtesy of AEBN Porn Pay Per View Network and Video On Demand (theater.aebn.net)]

[At top: Lexi Belle doesn't care to use thermometers, via Penthouse (galleries.penthouse.com)]

Obviously, we’ve had a long-running love for Elena Anaya and her skin, and we’re stoked that we finally get to see all the skin-showcasing action of Almodovar’s latest movie. That guy never lets us down!

Although, he certainly does creep us out. We don’t want to give away too much of the movie, so we’ll just say that Anaya is not who she seems, non-consensual sex plays an unfortunately large part in the plot, and Antonio Banderas is the only man who can pull off black sheets like that.

· “The Skin I Live In” (imdb.com)
· Upcoming Nude Scenes (upcomingnudescenes.net)

We love the naked splash fight, we understand the groping and spitting in each other’s mouths, and we’ll appreciate (from afar) the urge to fuck after seeing your lady’s x-ray results, but come on: there is nothing sexy about an MRI.

Seriously. We don’t care how gorgeous “The Sentiments of the Flesh” is, or how ridiculously hot Annabelle Hettmann is, because MRIs are a major turn-off. What’s next for these two? A hot upper GI scan topped off with a romantic barium cocktail?

But maybe we’re being close-minded. Maybe we’re not going far enough, turning back from the precipice, and overall refusing to commit to exploring someone else’s body. If you really love someone, you should become a radiologist so you can see and know everything about them (and not just in the biblical sense). This could be the worst relationship advice ever not found in a Cosmo.

· “Le sentiment de la chair” (2010) (imdb.com)

But is it the kind of medical attention you want? Sure, you might want to see her dressed as a nurse, but she has been quoted as saying, “If I was a serial killer, I’d kill people with enemas.”

Don’t think about it too hard. It’ll only get in the way of you and your enjoyment of this beautiful Alex Sim-Wise photoshoot. Just think about the pretty colors, her pink nipples, the way the red cross replaces the lipstick, maybe meditate on the phallic imagery surrounding the syringe. But please make sure you don’t focus on the serial killer Sim-Wise when you’re trying to go to bed… Goodnight, Fleshbot readers!

[UPDATE: Why did we think that was Katie Vice? We have no idea. Thanks for the correction.]

· Bizarre Mag UK (bizarremag.com)

Ladies, would you be comfortable sticking a three-inch needle into your ladyparts in exchange for a lifetime (or a couple of months, anyway) of mind-blowing orgasms? One woman in Britain did just that and now she swears by the miracle powers of the “G-Shot”. We guess she really does enjoy getting poked! (Sorry.) (dailymail.co.uk)

Are you eager to try that super hot fetish you keep reading about, except that you don’t really know what it means or how to do it? Are you convinced that there’s an uninhibited sexual adventurer inside you just waiting to bust out, but that maybe it needs a little coaching along to get started? The good folks at fetish community/porn clearinghouse Social Kink want to help: their regularly updated Kink Report videos will walk you through the basics of fetish play, including foot worship, body modification, and bondage and medical fetishes like the ones seen below. Hardcore kink fans will probably find them a bit vanilla, and they occasionally play like infomercials for leather good. But if you don’t know your straight jacket from your Windsor knot, this might be a good place to start.

. . .

· The Kink Report (socialkink.com)

Sometimes it feels like we wake up every morning “Groundhog Day”-style only to see the same old studios churning out the same old porn movies with the same old predictable lineups of barely legal starlets and insatiable MILFs, with only the occasional new face or novel ass smoothie-esque perversion to keep things fresh. Every once in a great while, however, a porn movie comes along that makes the discriminating pervert deep in our heart rejoice with hope that maybe the adult industry isn’t doomed to an eternity of the same old same old after all.

OK, so maybe in some ways “Doctor Adventures” is not that kind of groundbreaking work: the title alone should tip you off that it’s little more than a rehash of Brazzers’ paysite of the same name. But what is interesting about both the site and the DVD is that contrary to all those tight white uniforms that August, Brooke Belle, Devon Lee, Claire Dames, and Rachel Starr are busting out of, this isn’t your standard naughty nurse porn at all: these women are female doctors. Which, to anyone with a particularly fine-grained medical fetish to feed, is a totally different thing from 99.999% of the rest of that hot babe-with-stethoscope action out there. Who says there’s no such thing as progress in porn?

· “Doctor Adventures” (DVD info @ Adult DVD Empire)
· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)
· Doctor Adventures (doctoradventures.com)

julesjordanvideo.com
doctoradventures.com

Audrey Hollander is surprised when her yearly gyno checkup gets too familiar: “Any tenderness? Pressure?” The doctor asks about a hundred times. If I were Hollander, I would have had my HMO authorize anyone other than someone named “Dr. Probe.”

While the cover of “Dr. Probe’s Lab of Perversion: The Demon Gynecologist of the San Fernando Valley” promises a sardonic porn right up the alley of writer/director Jim Powers, Hollander’s scene is so awash with dark editing program background music that it’s hard to figure out if Powers intends us to laugh or just be creeped out; the cover suggests one, the movie suggests another.

The inappropriate gynecologist is certainly Porn’s version of the Nazi scientist, but we are made to wait to decide whether this is a fleshier version of “Little Shop of Horrors” or “Marathon Man.”

I talked with former AVN editor Rebecca Gray.

“Are you asking me if women think of gynecologists like the hot pizza delivery guy or pool cleaner?” she asked. “No. (The gynecologist’s office) is a different space for your head to be in.”

Hollander’s face registers growing alarm as the doctor takes his sweet time down there.

“I think I dropped something,” he calls, sniffing his fingers. He begins inserting all manner of objects.

“Is everything OK, Doctor?” she asks as he inserts a glass dildo in her anus. “I haven’t been sexually active in three months.”

“That’s a shame,” he says. Finally, we get to the porn.

Dr. Probe, after rolling up a fucking machine, does the job himself.

“Is it supposed to feel this nice, Doctor?” Hollander asks.

“Just a natural human reaction,” he says. “The instruments can only do so much.”

I finally decided that the movie was a comedy and just the soundtrack needed to go. Kudos to Hollander who did a nice slow burn, and to Powers for trusting an audience with a longish scene.

Next up is Sindee Jennings as the patient and Seth Dickens as Dr. Probe. The production does not skimp on medical equipment. Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman.

“I’m actually feeling a little bit uncomfortable, Doctor, “Jennings says. “It just feels like you’re doing the same things over and over and over.”

What makes this movie earn an A for effort is its token attempts to make things look on the up and up for at least a minute or two.

That more or less goes out the window when quintessential porn dude Dirty Harry appears as Guatemalan Doctor to the petrified Cindy Crawford. He speaks Pig Spanish all the way through his scene and at this point the movie becomes high camp (which isn’t a bad thing).

Finally, Otto Bauer’s scene with Chelsea Rae retreads old ground, but it’s still funny. When the good Doctor is finished, he says, “Now get dressed, clean up, and fill out those insurance forms.”

This movie is highly entertaining as a collection of scenes that happen to take place in a doctor’s office, but something is added (especially in the early scenes) when lip service is paid to something real; that’s when “Dr. Probe” gets menacing.

- Review by Gram Ponante

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Dr. Probe’s Lab of Perversion

Studio: Powersville/JM
Director: Jim Powers
Cast: Audrey Hollander, Sindee Jennings, Dirty Harry, Cindy Crawford, Otto Bauer, Chelsea Rae, Seth Dickens, Johnny Thrust

· Jim Powers (mrfilth.com)
· Buy “Dr. Probe’s Lab of Perversion” (jerkoffzone.com)

Stop us if you’ve heard this one before. A man goes to a doctor and the doctor tells him, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you’ve been in a massive car accident, all the bones in your legs are broken, you received a traumatic blow to the head, and your girlfriend is going to use your current state of delirium to rob your of all your wealth. The good news is the you have a permanent erection and your hot, horny nurse will be here in a moment.” Actually, now that we think about it, that isn’t much of a joke at all. We just hope the man’s insurance will cover all this.

. . .

· hospital sex (Megarotic)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

First it was buses, then it was gymnasiums … and now it’s a hospital room. Are there any places where those wacky Japanese don’t have sex? (pornhost.com, via Your Dirty Mind)

With health care reform at the forefront of our national agenda these days, maybe we should take a cue from the Japanese to see how it’s done … like making sure that all sexy barely legal schoolgirls get comprehensive full-body exams from their doctors on a regular basis. It couldn’t hurt, right? (video @ pornhost.com)

The best pornography has always reflected the time in which it was created. How else would you describe why America’s obsession with not shaving its pubes was so well-represented in 70′s porn? Our current healthcare crisis is given a frank look, therefore, in Natali Demore’s “Medical Pain Sluts”, in which women (the “Sluts” of the title) are subjected to and inflict “Medical Pain”. Read our review after the gap.

***

Medical Pain Sluts

Studio: Bondage Orgasms (.com)

Director: Natali Demore

Cast: Natali Demore, Ashley Renee, Eden Wells, Harmony Rose, Natalie Minx, Katja Kassin

Review by: - GP

The first vignette sets the scene. “Institutional Fraud” features Katja Kassin and Demore discussing how they defrauded both the penal and psychiatric industries by faking insanity to avoid jailtime. Luckily, they are thwarted by USA PATRIOT Act technology, as their conversation is monitored by Harmony, who looks positively Amazonian compared to the two barefoot scofflaws in her BDSM heels.

Harmony imposes a number of punishments on her wards, including the novel approach of smacking Katja every time Natali does something bad.

“Legs Open; This is for your own good” announces Demore in the next scene, “Multiple Personality Disorder”, in which she is the nurse charged with helping Ashley Renee decide if she likes girls or boys.

The scenarios are darkly humorous, and sexy. Girl-on-Girl cruelty has more of a ring of truth about it because it seems like Friday night at the Saddle Ranch.

Diminutive director/star Demore told me that she “discovered” liking to bind, gag, and torture people, and that she was good at it. The femdom model is still not the first picture that comes to mind when people think of dominatrices, however.

“I think we have the element of surprise,” she said.

Demore appears on top and on bottom in the final two scenes, first forcibly extracting information from Natalie Minx and then, in “Hypersexuality Aversion Treatment”, finding herself on the business end of clamps and clothespins.

This video is furnished with the essentials: a room, a mattress, some mood lighting, and a nurse costume. It also features some fun gadgets, electrodes, and whirring things. That it is made by women who play with the archetype of the naughty nurse, improvising funny lines while putting their victims through the paces of rigorous punishment and training scenes, makes for viewing that is less bleak than hardcore BDSM fare that’s all leather and dungeons.

· Hustler (hustler.com)

· Buy “Medical Pain Sluts” (jadedvideo.com)

Previously: Reviews Archive

As part of our recent public health initiative, it’s also our responsibility to direct your attention to this new product designed to alleviate the sufferings of anyone experiencing the increasingly widespread problem of Restless Penis Syndrome, which we’re afraid might be a side effect of visiting Fleshbot every day. If you should find your sleep habits being interrupted by twitching genitalia (your own or your partner’s), we recommend you check out this promotional video clip before YouTube takes it down due to its use of the word “fuck” or before GlaxoSmithKline gets all twitchy themselves and serves up a cease and desist order, whichever comes first. (But don’t try to self-medicate by taking Fleshbot off your bookmarks list. Studies have shown that you can still live with RPS and have a happy, productive life as long as you relieve the symptoms on a regular basis.)

· “Deqip for RPS” (YouTube – thanks SJ)

All the usual online video sharing outlets seem to be a bit temperamental this week, but hopefully that won’t prevent you from viewing this latest entry in our ever-expanding Flesh Flicks catalog. If only web servers and IT backbones could be cured as easily as the "patient" in this clip. Of course, we always seem to get stuck with the grumpy nurse with cold hands and no sense of humor so this particular treatment has never been offered to us during our yearly physical—and it’s not like our blogger HMO would cover it anyway. We guess there’s a reason why the slutty Asian nurse fantasy will sadly forever remain a fantasy.

- – -

· Patient Fucks His Hot Nurse (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

There are two kinds of medical fetish sites: the kind shot in scary-looking operating rooms with even scarier-looking surgical steel implements, and the frankly fake kind which lean more towards hot nurses in cleavage-enhancing uniforms than stents and syringes. If the sight of sutures makes you squeamish, you’ll have a much more pleasant fantasy experience at Doctor Adventures, which bills itself as “the first female doctor site on the net” even if we’re pretty sure bustological pornstresses like Eva Angelina, Nikki Benz, and Puma Swede wouldn’t know a triple bypass from a colonoscopy if it bit them on their well-cushioned asses. Since our favorite part of our annual checkup is getting that lollipop afterwards, these low-intensity procedures are just what the doctor ordered. (Sorry, but when you’re talking about a porn site that’s all about clichés, it’s kind of hard to avoid using them.)

· Doctor Adventures (paysite previews @ doctoradventures.com, via Cayos)
· Thimbnail: Eva Angelina waiting for you to open up and say “Hmm, I wonder if my HMO will cover $24.95 a month for your services?”

Previously: Fleshbot Crush Object™ Watch: Kitty Toxin, Gips Dreams, O.R.R. Belgium: Medical Fetish Video, Flesh Flicks: Amateur Nursing School, Sexy Restaurant “Nurses”, Romain Slocombe: Japan Medical Fetish, Sexy Wheelchair Girls, Hello, Nurse!

Aussie hottie Kitty Toxin is a self-described “mad scientist” whose interests include biomedical science, anatomical charts, playing with her two pet rats and assorted spiders, and lounging around in a bathtub while reading books about Dr. Who —all of which would instantly earn her instant Fleshbot Crush Object™ status on their own (especially the Dr. Who part.) But Kitty isn’t one of those gorgeous geeks into barren theorizing: she’s also an accomplished painter and fetish pinup model, and we can’t think of anyone else we’ve seen online lately who can make a rhytidectomy look so damn sexy; if she didn’t live clear on the other side of the planet from us, we’d be booking an appointment on her operating table in no time.

· Kitty Toxin @ DeviantArt (gallery @ deviantart.com; registration required to view some material – via Fluffy Lychees)

Previously: Babes With Books, Fetish/Fashion by Tani Atsushi, Gips Dreams, O.R.R. Belgium: Medical Fetish Video, Flesh Flicks: Amateur Nursing School, Geek Fantasies, Sexy Restaurant “Nurses”, Romain Slocombe: Japan Medical Fetish

As if spending too many hours trawling Google’s new Patent Search feature for the latest in insertable technology wasn’t diverting enough, it’s now even easier to keep up with what’s going on in the sex gizmo world via the recent official launch of X-RatedPatents.com. which culls the Google listings for things like Breast Implant Injectors and Penile Volumetric Measuring Devices and presents them to you in convenient blog format, complete with their original illustrations. Of course, looking for these things is part of our job description, so we can legitimately claim it’s made our day-to-day work more efficient; unless your job involves dildonic research (or sex blogging, for that matter), you’ll have to come up with your own excuse when your boss catches you at your desk trying to make your own Lap Dance Liner out of a couple of paper towels and a piece of fine-grained sandpaper.

· Breast Implant Injector And Method Of Use, Penile Volumetric Measuring Device, Lap Dance Liner (all these and more @ X-RatedPatents.com)

Previously: Top Ten Sex Toy Patents, Sex Patents, Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

We’re not shocked by the idea of cast fetishists getting off on girls wrapped in plaster, but it is a little surprising to see the lengths some people will go to for a bit of fun. Broken bones are never a treat, but wrapping yourself in a full body cast just for the heck it (as far as we can tell, the girls featured here are not actually injured) seems like a lot of work. Imagine the itchiness! Still, if restrictive bracing is your thing, it’s hard to beat a good hard cast and Gips Dreams has plenty of girls who are eager to indulge. There’s a lot of samples in the free preview galleries, but even if you do decide to become a member, it has to be cheaper than a hospital visit. If you can get your HMO to cover it, even better.

· Gips Dreams (gipsdreams.com via, Otomano)

Previously: Sexy (Sprained) Ankles, Fetish/Fashion by Tani Atsushi, O.R.R. Belgium: Medical Fetish Video, Meet Encarna Conde, Romain Slocombe: Japan Medical Fetish, Cast Fetish, Errall Amputee Fantasy Art, Gimpix, Recreational Bracing, Sexy Wheelchair Girls, Disabled Nudes Calendar

Ever since people started thinking that it might be a good idea to put foreign objects in their bodies to make themselves look and feel hotter (and we mean manufactured enhancements, not cucumbers), the debate over synthetic engorgement has raged on. We can all agree that boobs are glorious things, though we might disagree on the particulars: some like teeny titties with puffy pink nipples, others like bouncing bazooms that look like they could suffocate anyone within a five foot radius. For those who think bigger is better, the question is whether implants are the best way to deal with this desire or whether it’s better to covet than to sport implants. And so, dear reader, we implore you to give your most esteemed opinion.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

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Previously: Sugarnips, The Boobs Are Right!, 2006 Blogger Boobiethon, The Page Of Boobs, Boob News @ Bakunyuu Dialog, Booby Fever, Boob-U-Mentary, Federal Boob Investigation, Busty Webshots, Chelsea Charms on YouTube, Titmilker, Big Nipple Bonanza, Peach Candy, Big Boobs, The Megamamma Mmmonastery, Breast Expansion Archive, My Boob Site