Letters are cool, but numbers are cooler. Er, well, some of them. We do love our words. But do you know what’s better than even A, B, and C combined? 69! Because last we heard, reciting the alphabet didn’t include a bunch of tongue-on-genitalia action (though certain dudes use it as a cunnilingus “move”. [You can stop.]) Nevertheless, sixty-nine is one of our favorite numbers, words, and actions all rolled into one. We’d read a whole storybook of repeating 69s.

We don’t know about ya’ll, but we come from a broken home (sob sob). So we know aaaaaaall about how when your parents are dating new people it can be such a drag. Don’t even get us started on how gross it is and annoying it is and how much power play and possessiveness is zipping around and sometimes it’s enough to just make you wish we could all return to a time when the nuclear family solved all of society’s problems and no one was preoccupied with “exploring” their “sexuality” or “having” their “freedom” or “teaching” their “boyfriend’s daughter” a “lesson” by “seducing” her and “eating her sweet little pink pussy out til she cums.”

It’s no surprise we love a generous helping of sleaze around these parts (Actually, could we get seconds on our sleaze please? This plate is looking a little dry…). And when we watched this clip of a lady who gives a young innocent runaway girl a sponge bath, even we were like Whoa. We only aspire in our wildest dreams to be able to pull off that level of serious sleaze when we grow up.

Emma Thompson hasn’t done a topless scene in years, and we were starting to think we’d never see her beautiful breasts ever again. But thanks to the crackerjack work of some paparazzi, we’ve got a glimpse of her changing on the set of “Love Punch.” We’re pretty sure this footage isn’t actually a part of the movie…but man, wouldn’t it be fun if it was?

Think that Ms. Griffith’s sex appeal peaked in the 80s? Think again, friends. She may be in her fifties, but she’s still smoking hot–and we’re thrilled that she decided to show the world that with these gorgeous photos.

First Natasha Giggs slipped a nipple; now, Denise Welch has upped the anti with topless hot tubbing. Is there something in the water? Are aphrodisiacs being pumped into the air via some sort of futuristic aphrodisiac delivery system? We’re not sure, but whatever it is that’s causing these spontaneous showings

FACT: Janice Dickinson is comfortable being naked in public. FACT: Beaches are a good place for public nudity. ERGO: It should come as no surprise that Janice Dickinson was topless on a beach at some point, and that this behavior was photo documented. (Taxi Driver Movie)

Normally, low camera angles make people look hideous—with flared nostrils, ridiculous cheeks, and whatnot—but if you find a low-enough angle, people become beautiful, dynamic sculptures. That is, sculptures who give each other head. Also, will someone tell us what YPP means? We feel like completely n00bs not knowing what this

Cougars aren’t just fictional characters invented for porn movies, you know—they’re actual, factual people having actual, factual sex. And in the case of Liz Earls, documenting said sex in photos, and publishing them in a fancy book. Details has an interview with the lady behind Days of the Cougar…and Taschen

As a former model, Janice Dickinson isn’t what’s known as shy about her body—and we’re pleased to see that, even at 56, she’s still proud enough of her gorgeous body that she’s willing to post a naked picture on Twitter. Folks, that’s what we call an awesome lady. (via)

About a year ago, after years of performing, Sunshine in the Desert decided to give fine art modeling a whirl—and, things being as they are today, she decided to blog her adventures as well. This would all be pretty run of the mill were it not for one thing: Sunshine

Katie Waissel, a contestant on the British television singing competition, has an 81-year-old grandmother who is a high-class escort/pornstar. Television X provided us with some pictures of the woman of the hour, Sheila Vogel, from “Freddies Great British Granny Bang.” We don’t watch “The X Factor,” and we had no

Last week, we offered you a glimpse of Helen Mirren’s “Love Ranch” love scene. Today, we’ve discovered the full on scene itself. It may not be the balls to the wall, hardcore, full frontal insanity that we dreamed of, but it is still Helen Mirren making out and taking off

Some women believe that nude scenes are a young woman’s game—something that should be put on the shelf after a certain age. We are pleased to report that Dame Helen Mirren is not one of them. The lovely lady was kind enough to pose topless for New York magazine over

With all-around MasterMILF Lisa Ann leading the charge, five horny, mature bombshells record their sexy escapades for future generations to read squint at through the erection-confusing, fledgling 3D technology. Plus: bubbles, feathers, sprinkles, and birthday cake. Milf Memoirs 3D Studio: Funky Monkey Director: J. Lalls Cast: Lisa Ann, Jessica Jaymes,

To the best of our knowledge, this clip from Todd Solondz’s “Life During Wartime” marks Allison Janney’s first ever topless scene. We’re not sure why she waited so long to join the topless elite…but we’re glad she did. (And, uh, if we’re wrong, and she’s been topless in movies before,

Helen Mirren’s already proved that she can rock a bikini well into her sixties. Now, with the help of photographer Juergen Teller, she’s proved that nude shoots aren’t just for the young. Yes, this week’s issue of New York magazine has Dame Helen herself naked in the bath (and talking

Watching Niky Wardley release her horny widow angst on a younger man makes us wonder why Fleshbot doesn’t have any offices in the United Kingdom. This show “Shameless” has a way with getting mature British babes naked that we really admire. We really ought to ask the director for dating

After yesterday’s successfully solved mystery, we thought we’d give you another challenge. This lovely lass appeared on Dutch amateur porn site KodieFiles—but unfortunately, that’s all we know about her. Can you fill in the rest of the details?

Between Lucy Lawless, Pauline McLynn, and now Clementine Celarie, we officially have a trend of older women showing off the goods on the small screen. And god, how we are loving it. Yes, it seems that 2010 is the year that TV Land learns that sexy doesn’t stop at 25.