It’s time for yet another clittastic Japanese adventure, courtesy of the versatile R-1 Controller — this time I’m exploring its sophisticated wank attachment called “Feel Mont Blanc”. I’m not sure my whacksperience was akin to mounting the highest Alpine peaks, but it was pretty exhilarating nonetheless. There’s more than meets the eye to this little guy.

Quiet as a clit-rockin’ mouse, the Crave Solo is. It’s true; there’s much to love about this elegant little vibe, but the quality that resonated most with me was its extremely subtle sound. That’s not to say this delightful dainty doesn’t pack a punch, though. Its purr rumbles like a lion, but at the volume of a kitty. And it’s kind of my newest little pet now.

I hadn’t really ventured much into the realm of sensual massage before… The only rubdowns I’d indulged in were basically hand or mouth-to-dick contact. I’m an advocate of prolonged foreplay, and touching people is cool, so it looks like there’s really no reason for me to shy away from this. Babeland’s Massage Candle makes it easy, fragrant, and slightly BDSMy — hey, I can get on board with that.

It’s no secret most chicks have a bit of a love affair with their Magic Wand-style Cadillac vibes. I am no different. Mine actually resides in a little nook right beside my bed, always plugged in and at the ready. We’re quite close. So, imagine my excitement when I found that accessories for my lovely friend exist — accessories made to harness that stupendous power and focus it on the g-spot. It’s like getting new clothes for your favorite doll, but with way more body-rockin’ orgasms involved (well, depending how you get your kicks).

Ah, RendS Japan and their R-1 Base Unit strike again. This versatile toy’s standard vibe and Predator Wand attachment have certainly given me some thrills. But this go-round, I’m taking the U.F.O. (Unidentified Fascinating Object) for a literal spin. It’s a crazy nipple stimulator that basically takes your tits on the Gravitron.

Despite any positive or negative feelings about it, I can truly say I’ve never used any toy quite like the Pure Wand. It’s 24 whopping ounces of solid stainless steel in the form of a smoothly curved shaft topped with a one inch and one-and-a-half inch ball at either end. Created as the ultimate indulgence in G-spot or P-spot (prostate) stimulation, does this hefty hitter deliver the knockout?

I’ve got a dildo problem. They’re overflowing from boxes under my bed, bursting forth from my closet, and it seems nearly every knock on the door brings another vibrating baby to my toy-laden arms*. But the Vanity Vr16 — this one I was actually anticipating, anxiously awaiting its arrival to my agglomeration. I’m familiar with its Vr kin, and they are good.

A wink can be a cutesy, charming flirtation that gets one’s attention in oh-so-subtle a manner. Just as quickly it can become a a sleazetastic creeper move that gives one the willies. The Wink by Crave falls into the former category, and backs up its coquetry with a powerful vibrating motor that turns that tease into a sweet and enchanting orgasm machine.

This big plastic vice looks like the sort of thing you’d steal from an ancient temple dedicated to the worship of the yoni, but I assure you that it’s new, unique, and 100% devoted to the pleasing of your penis. Meet the VerSpanken, the freshest fuck toy to earn a permanent place in my collection!

This is a cat o’ nine tails style flogger of soft and slappy suede, with a beautiful, hand-blown handle. That acts as a dildo. I’m not sure if this is common on the whip market, but my mind was sort of blown. And then my (figurative) load. I’m kind of a slave for you now, Icicles whip.

You may remember when Ottimo put his dick at the mercy of the A10 Cyclone. That particular toy is just one of a whole host of add-ons created for use with the R-1 Controller, an amazing little wonder that serves as matriarch for a crazy Japanese sex gizmo lineage. There are apparati for dudes, chicks, dude/chicks or anyone with stimulatory parts — and today I’ve given the oddly named Predator Wand a whirl. And, well, I’m game.

Has it been another year already? It’s been such a beautiful and endorphin-filled blur of sex toy testing! Some experiences have been more rewarding than others, and some tests have made us fear for our safety and sanity, but it was all worth it. Finally, after much sweat and lube has been expended, we have a list of the ten best sex toys on the market in 2012.

For over a decade, Aneros has been producing the preeminent prostate massager. Beginning with a single signature design, they’ve expanded their line to include a whole host of ways to tickle the prostate. And now, having conquered that territory, they’ve set their sites on a whole new erogenous zone: say hello to Evi, Aneros’s first toy for the female prostate (or as you might know it, the g-spot).

I always get excited when I get a box of sex toys from Japan. The things they do with silicone and suction are always amazing, creative, and thought-provoking, and I usually end up blowing my wad simply because the future of sex toys looks so bright. This time, I received a package that contained the A10 Cyclone and thought, “This looks like a wang mangler.”

Ah, the We-Vibe Thrill — it’s yet another entrant into the “g-spot/clit-spot dual vibe that’s got it all!” ring. And of course I can’t wait to jump in for a round. But does it live up to the name, or is it a total bore?

Ah, Jimmy Jane. Making a girl fall in love over, and over, and over again. And the Form 6 is just as dashing as the rest of its family. It’s a powerful, versatile vibrator with a motor on each end, and a lot of good times in between. Be still, my heart (and clit).

Here I am with another installment of Splurge vs. Steal — where I delve into which sex toys really give you the most bang for your buck. Today I was vibin’ up a storm, pitting the little Buzzing Blossom against the Smart Wand by Lelo. I got off with both (I always make sure of that), but I prefer taking a direct route to Climaxville. Scenic trails, be gone with you — get me to my destination. Which chariot sailed smoothest?

Lelo’s rolling out revamped versions of their favorite vibes, and last week I tried out a real G-spot gunner, the Mona 2. I’m more of a clit-loving lady, however, and with a big, deep shaft plus a quivering little clit buddy, Ina 2 has got all the stuff I’m ready to love.

For a long time, I feared my g-spot was but a myth — or at least a temperamental creature that had yet to prove its existence (somewhat like a yeti). However, jOpen’s Vanity Vr4.5 eventually proved that the beast was live and well, and also quite erogenous. The vibrator at bat today, the brand spankin’ new Mona by Lelo, caters directly to the g-spot with no messing around. So now I know mine is ready and waiting — did the Mona hit a homer?

Look who’s back in town, with a fancy new makeover! It’s the We-Vibe 3, the #1 vibrator for couples, inserted into the vagina while banging to provide shivery sensations for both. With a special charger and swanky remote control, the newfandangled 3 is ready to bring all the boys to the yard. Or make them all cum in the yard. Something.