In my experience, sex toys that try to recreate blowjobs fight an uphill battle. The human mouth is dynamic, it’s a strange mix of hard rocks and soft wet pads, and people put a lot of personality into their sucking styles. Still, even though the HEPS Fantastic System can’t blow kisses or lick balls, it’s hands-down the best fellatio simulator I’ve ever had the fortune of using.

The enterprising folks over at Fleshlight are giving fans the opportunity to put something other than their randy cocks into the goods. The gates are up, and Alexis Texas, Asphyxia Noir, and Kayden Kross are in the running to get their snatches forever immortalized in elastomeric gel. And the pussy to prevail is up to you!

Fleshlight already boasts an impressive bunch of masturbation sleeves painstakingly modelled after pornstar body parts, but people–eternally aroused people–are always wondering which babe will next go under the plaster. Wonder no more, horny masses, because Nina Hartley went to Texas to duplicate her orifices for your wanking pleasure!

Fleshlight’s latest addition to their big family of masturbation sleeves is Flight: a short, sleek, attractive departure from their usual “It’s a flashlight for your dong!” style. The insides have been changed a little, too. All these advances are so impressive! They make it all the more painful to say that this toy couldn’t even get me off.

It’s been over a month since Valentine’s Day, and by now, you’ve probably hit some heartbreak. We’re sorry. But listen, we have good news: Tenga released a new version of their legendary egg-shaped masturbation sleeve, it transfers heat from your hands, it’s filled with heart-shaped bumps of various sizes, and it will love you (so hard)!

It doesn’t matter how old we get, we will always love to play with toys. Even the ones that seem the strangest or the least likely to work with our junk can deliver wonderful sensations and surprises, and this year was chock full of innovative genital gadgetry. Yes, we’ve teased,

Time and time again, Tenga proves itself to be the Apple of the sex toy industry; every new product is sleeker, more elegant, and easier to use than the one that came before it. With that in mind, take a look at the new line of Tenga 3D masturbation sleeves:

We know what you’re thinking: “It’s almost Halloween, and I have yet to have sex with any undead, reanimated, extraterrestrial, or cybertronic vaginas!” Don’t worry, Fleshlight has you covered with their new Freaks series. They might just be the most horrifying things I’ve ever penetrated, and I might have really

The list of Fleshlight Girls was looking a little Ameri-centric, so the company decided to diversify their wares with a hot new roster of Europorn babes. The most surprising lady on the list: Ariel. Yes, the Ariel we ogle on a regular basis. In addition to this glamorous redhead, you

In the perfect world, this Fleshlight would honor Wesley Snipes’s role as a vampire-killing vampire. In reality, the Blade is a new Fleshlight with a soft, flexible case that allows you to squeeze your junk. That’s pretty cool! To an extent! If I could have Facebook page with my new

If you’re like me, you’ve always wished that Tenga would combine the awesome, cock-hypnotizing power of the Flip Hole with the retro attitude and questionable utility of the 1989 Reebok Pump. Well wish no more because the FLIP AIR is here and I am about to recommend it wholeheartedly! For