In the brief but wonderful time that we’ve known Jodi Taylor, we’ve developed a serious crush on the girl, but now we’re pretty sure she’s a sex demon put on this plane to torture us. How can she love big toys? It’d be one thing if she loved humans–we’d at least have a slight chance at getting with her–but there’s no way we can become big toys and we will therefore never get to date Jodi on the reg.

To increase enjoyment of this film, imagine that the pornstars you see slapping their groins together are actually newlywed couples who spent all day and night getting married, going through the rituals, dancing with grandparents at the reception, and traveling to the bed and breakfast where they will finally lose their respective virginities and be so inexplicably skilled in the erotic arts that they have simultaneous orgasms that instantly bond them forever with zero chance for divorce.

Like, for real, we are scared of these sex toys. If we were walking around in broad daylight, and one of these toys started walking in our direction, we’d cross the street. Fortunately, there are many women who are able, willing, and often in the mood to handle these missile-sized members, and we feel better knowing that the dildos are securely tucked away in their pussies.

Just think: she had 33 other chances to fess up to her obsession with giant dildos of various shapes and textures, but she only felt comfortable saying so now. What does that mean, Chanel? Why don’t we talk more? Is there something we can do, some way we can make

Some may say it’s an urban legend, like high school “rainbow parties” or Tijuana donkey shows, but wife swapping is real. Take our word for it, because we—like Pink Visual—know the beautiful, liberating truth. There are a few rare humans who are born without the capacity for jealousy and clinging

What does it take to cram a Costco-sized sex toy into a tiny pussy? The spicy recipe includes four parts super freak, a dash of raw courage, a bucket of lube, and sprinkles of trust. Digital Sin director Mario Rossi has the latter in spades. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t