It’s finally happening, guys: Lee Roy Myers is making a “Game of Thrones” porn parody (working title: “Game of Boners.” In our imagination, anyway). The legendary director has posted a casting call…and our brains have started feverishly imagining which porn performers could best personify our Westerosi heroes. Our picks (for some of them) below (and share yours in the comments).

Justine Joli is in command. She knows what she wants from this world, and right now, she needs a well-trained slave who will fulfill her every desire. Can she find such a woman, and if she can, can she craft the fresh young mind into the come-hungry pet she wants?

Perhaps it’s true that people can use porn to learn how to have sex (though piledrivers are silly), but it’s rare that erotic interludes teach us something useful. Kevin Moore’s “Hooker Experience” is such a movie, for it teaches us how to be an ally to sex workers.

Recently we talked about Big Wet Asses and how incredibly hot and awesome it is when porn shows fountains of lube! Historically, for some fucking reason, wetness is undervalued in porn. It doesn’t make a damn bit of sense to us, since as far as we’re concerned wetness is pretty much what sex is all about.

Carrie’s friends are obsessed with a certain pornstar they found online, Riley Steele, mainly because Riley and Carrie look alike, secondarily because watching Riley’s scenes seems to spice up everyone’s sex life. Rumors are quickly spreading about Carrie’s secret second job; how will she address these issues with her boyfriend?

Director Kevin Moore stages several tales of status reversals and sex-as-theatre in this entertaining and unpredictable movie, though the first scene made me sad.

You can act all cool and distant if you want, but you know you’re dying to see the new all-Remy extravaganza. She’s under your skin, she’s hula hooping and dick handling and doing all of the things she’s good at, except this time she’s doing it bigger than before. We’re talking gangbang, girlbang, Skin Diamond bang, all manners of bang!

Fear not, fair lasses of the world, for though the battlefield of love is harsh and unforgiving, you can easily fall into a foxhole and find a man with permanent stubble, tattoos from his younger wilder days, and a bit of a paunch that looks charming on his muscular frame, and you can spend endless hours in bed counting each other’s rings with the tips of your tongues.

There could not be a porn movie more suited to our lazy tastes; we love morning sex! Babes be waking up, barely conscious of the big world outside the boundaries of the bed, their hair all messy and faces unmade, and nothing drives them but a little spark of horniness. If you have brunch plans with us, consider them officially cancelled because this is all we’re doing for the rest of our weekends.

This edition of “Lesbian Office Seductions” is special because all of the action revolves around “the city’s top advertising firm for feminine products.” It’s all about ladies being in charge of other ladies who are trying to appeal to consumer ladies by way of their lady parts. Is that too much lady for you? Then you are in the wrong place.

The thing that is funny to us about kinky movies and novels these days is they all seem to exist in a world in which people are shocked by blindfolds and threesomes and feather ticklers. No matter, it’s all stuff we love, so the characters can be shocked and we’ll just be turned on!

There is something so uniformly appealing about each of the women selected for Elegant Angel’s “Best New Starlets 2013″ that it almost works against them. Each is brunette or raven-haired and tiny–except Anikka Albrite–and three of them get fucked by Manuel Ferrara: Lucky Bastard.

We think it’s funny that you can insert the words “Fifty,” “Shades,” and/or “Grey” anywhere you want to communicate fetishy sex to people. Somewhere, a manufacturer of Venetian blinds is rolling in dough because they started marketing their wares as “Fifty Pieces of Plastic That Throw Shades and Make Your Room All Grey.”

Maddy O’Reilly should have never been the babysitter, and that family should have never had a baby.

Guess who has the big throbbing dicks now? That’s right, it’s a bunch of flossy, sadistic, well-trained babes who relish the chance to go balls deep in boy butt. With the help of a few good toys and an unlimited supply of lube, these ladies are turning the tides of penetration and showing us that revenge is a dish best served anally.

This loooong clip is heavy on the interviews but also features some clips from the scenes. Call us romantic, call us intellectuals, call us nerds: but we love watching people fuck waaay more when we’ve just heard their interviews. It’s like your inside their brains! Which is kinda like being inside their cunts. Think about it!

Yes! Yes people! This is just how it is in real life! (We um, have some lesbian friends. We check our facts here at Fleshbot. We dot our t’s and cross our i’d and… wait, is that… oh hey, is that girls making out over there?) All the soft butch in the red flannel has to do is smarmily* introduce the idea of Truth or Dare and then everyone’s inner lesbian is revealed!

Let’s not forget that Che Guevara’s journey across South America was initially one of fun, adventure, and youthful hedonism. “Babysitter Diaries 9″ has all of that, except it stops short of presenting the audience with the suffering caused by economic inequality. Instead we get facials. Facials!