Ya’ll know here at Fleshbot we like some gender-bending. Put a buxom babe in a baseball cap and we’re happy. Isn’t there something so nasty and tough about Lucy Pinder now that she’s got that cap on? Doesn’t she look like she would straddle you and take what she wants, all without getting a sunburn on her pretty face?

Plus she wants to go to the game with you and drink giant cups of beer and scarf garlic fries and actually understand what’s happening and scream at the other team and maybe get into fights and maybe even take off her top when she ends up on the big screen.

· Via Top Babes Blog (topbabesblog.org)

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Showing up on the cover of Loaded with crosses all over the place, in the air, between your boobs, on the papal sash falling from your shoulders, busting out of your cassock, looking up to the heavens for guidance: what are you doing, Lucy Pinder? “It’s been quite a giggle,” she says, “I hope Catholics take it as an homage and do not get offended, after all, it’s just a pair of boobs!” Oh, is it, now?

This is exactly the kind of behavior we expect from the nation that started Anglicanism.

Just kidding! Uh, anyway, this spread is really a way to introduce the world to the God’s Gift Model Search put on by Loaded. Prospective lad’s mag girls are invited to send in their pictures and compete for a top spot modeling gig. Lucy adds, “Anyone who wants to get into glamour modeling should enter competitions like this. That’s the best way because they’re the competitions that gauge whether or not girls are going to be popular. The best way is definitely not posting naked pictures of yourself on social networking sites!” Real talk, Ms. Pinder.

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First of all, can we honestly call this the boobiest version of anything when Lucy’s ass is pictured? Replace that ass with some boobs and then we’ll talk. Until then, we’re going to be raising our eyebrows and questioning Nuts’s dedication to tits.

Admittedly, Lucy and her interviewer spend a significant amount of time talking about breasts, and we get to learn what kind of cake Lucy would want her breasts to be made out of (the answer: “big cherry Bakewells”). Still, we feel that the boobs need to be doing more in order for this to be the “boobiest shoot ever.” Either one titty needs to fill up the entire frame, or Lucy needs to build a house using only her breasts. We’ll call it Habi-tits for Humanity!

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A little while ago, Nuts released a list of the 100 Sexiest Topless Babes as voted by you. This week, they published a list of the 100 Sexiest Babes of 2012, also as voted by you. We have to ask: do we need both, especially when Lucy Pinder is number one on both of them?

Rosie Jones and Paige Tyler are second and third on the list, respectively, just as they were on the Sexiest Topless Babes list. Why do busty brunettes always dominate these votes? We’re starting to wonder about this voting thing. When you cast your ballot, did you separate the sexiness of these women from the sexiness of their toplessness? Because if not, you committed voter fraud, we think.

· Via Top Babes Blog (topbabesblog.org)

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“Do you ever undertake everyday tasks naked?” asks Nuts, knowing the answer already. “I basically spend my life naked at work then I’m naked the rest of the time at home waiting for my fake tan to dry,” answers Lucy. “It was a problem in my newest house because I was constantly forgetting where all the windows were positioned!”

Oh, to spy Lucy Pinder naked through her window. It sounds nice, but we think it’d actually be a bit frightening. These are her work clothes, she’s in full-on action mode, and in the heat of the moment your primal instincts kick in and suddenly Lucy’s big boobs and wide hips and plump lips aren’t inviting, they’re all designed to make her seem large and frightening in the wild!

Uh, anyway, did you know that Lucy Pinder wants to see Bruce Willis naked? True stuff, it’s in the interview. We think they’d make a lovely couple!

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Actually, it’s just Kelly Hall who wants to be Lucy’s cat. She said, “She’s so lovely! She’s actually just a very warm, king love machine. She has all these posh cats that she feeds gourmet fish to and strokes on her lap. I would very much like to be Lucy Pinder’s cat. Imagine being stroked on Lucy Pinder’s lap all day!” We figure the other girls are going to get jealous and want to join in.

And perhaps this is what the future of lad mags holds for us. All of the blonde girls will continue holding down the toplessness fort while the brunettes reveal themselves as witches and Lucy Pinder turns them all into cats and starts a feline lad’s mag. We don’t think we’d buy that publication, but we’d definitely read through it to get Lucy’s top ten breast-enhancing potion recipes.

· Via Top Babes Blog (topbabesblog.org)

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She’s constantly posing for different magazines, she’s doing a big shoot in Ibiza, she’s participating in a cross-continent road rally, and she has more acting gigs coming up soon. We’re a little worried about Lucy Pinder! When does she get time to relax? When will she finally sit down and look at all the hard work she’s doing? We do that all the time, and let us tell you, looking at Lucy is exhausting (in the best possible way).

Perhaps it’s best for Lucy to keep moving and striving at all times, as long as she’s not damaging her health. Maybe she can’t slow down and look at the sexy stuff she’s done or she’ll finally realize how ridiculous hot she is and then she’ll explode or something. It sounds silly, but if we looked down at ourselves and suddenly saw huge boobs and killer curves, we’d pop some blood vessels for sure. Then we would take a hot, steamy, soapy shower forever.

· Via Top Babes Blog (topbabesblog.org)

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Why, look! Here’s Emma, Rhian, Holly, Lacey, Lucy, India, Rosie, and their friends ringing in every month of 2012 with a heaping helping of boobie. Each lovely lady espouses on the favorite parts of her chosen month — but our favorite parts are still those that made ‘em famous.

As excited as we are for tonight’s big countdown, we only wish that great New Year’s Eve Ball in the sky were a giant version of, say, Rhian’s left breast. The only problem with that is we might forget how to count down at all… Suppose we’re all safer with these breasts constrained to the limits of Nuts’ glossy pages.

· Via Your Daily Girl (your-daily-girl.com)

We don’t generally think of Ms. Pinder as a matronly sort, but when she’s playing mother hen to a bumper crop of new Nuts girls we can’t help but get on board. But Lucy’s more of a mentor figure, and the kind that gets bowled over by “lots of lovely boobies.” She’s in the right place.

One would think after being surrounded by bounds of bouncing bosoms the fires of passion would fade. But that’s not so for our fearless leader. According to Lucy, “I can’t get over all the boobs.” Neither can we, Lucy. Neither can we.

· Via Your Daily Girl (yourdailygirl.com)

The only thing better than a calendar with topless pictures of Lucy Pinder on it would be a sun dial modeled off Lucy’s rack. And don’t even try to tell us that Lucy Pinder’s tits aren’t celestially aligned.

Anyway, Nuts graciously printed a preview of Lucy’s calendar pics, and the lovely Ms. Pinder had a chat with the magazine as well. When Nuts asked, “Do you keep a stash of calendars in the boot of your car in case of emergencies?” Lucy responded, “No, but I guess I should. My mum keeps stashes of them to hand out to family and friends, but I always forget to take some for myself.” That is one supportive mom! Also, it must be pretty weird to be Lucy’s aunt or uncle, having the girl’s mother hand you a calendar every year. It’s half-sweet, half-awkward, like some terrible Arnold Palmer. (This is one of those times when we bet the magazines are making up the girl’s responses.)

· Via Pretty Hot and Sexy (prettyhotandsexy.sk)

Lucy Pinder: you’ve just won a fabulous vacation on the Spanish Riviera. What are you going to do when you get there? Take off all your clothes and lounge around on a yacht? Well…we guess we can’t say we’re that surprised…but as long as you promise to publish the pictures in Interviu magazine, we’ll be perfectly content with wherever you choose to roll around naked.

· See more at Egotastic (egotastic.com)

A few weeks ago, when the world was obsessing about the royal wedding, our focus was planted firmly on a royal of an entirely different sort—namely Lucy Pinder, the Queen of Boobs. Were you similarly swept up in the pomp and circumstance of Ms. Pinder’s coronation? Well, you’ll be pleased to know that there are many, many more photos from her celebration…and that they’ve finally surfaced online.

· See more at Pretty Hot & Sexy (prettyhotandsexy.sk)

If this parody porn has informed us correctly, it seems that there’s a royal wedding coming up some time this week. But you know what? We kinda don’t care about that stuff. And why should we? Sure, Kate Middleton is about to become Princess of something or other (that’s her official title, right?), but Lucy Pinder is already Queen of Boobs.

What’s that? You say you don’t believe us? Um, why don’t you take a look at her right here, all topless and stuff.

Yeah, we thought that would change your mind.

· See more at Egotastic (egotastic.com)

They can be the new power couple that everybody is obsessed with! We can call them “Losie” or “Rucy” and the tabloids will say things like, “Losie Splitting Up! Lucy Too Jealous Of Rosie’s Big Boobs!”

And then their sex tape would come out and we’d host it on Fleshbot and everyone would be so gosh darn happy. Why don’t they just start dating? The world would be a better place.

· Lucy Pinder and Rosie Jones together in Nuts Magazine (prettyhotandsexy.sk)

Whenever the lad mags do one of these superlative countdowns, we can’t help but get cynical about the judging, the pool, everything. Is it fair that lad mag girls and WAGs dominate these things?

It’s like, “Whoa, who would’ve thought that Lucy Pinder would be the No. 1 sexiest babe in Britain?” Really. Although, we were excited to see Amii Grove high up on the list. Whatever happened to her?

· 100 Sexiest British Babes (prettyhotandsexy.sk)

Can you imagine Lucy’s embarrassment when she got to the scuba party and discovered that her wet suit was two sizes too small for her tits? Actually, she wasn’t embarrassed. We think she may have made the purchase on purpose.

Ironically, her extra—shall we say—buoyancy keeps her afloat no matter how much the scuba gear weighs, so she thought she’d make a statement and steal the party. How dare anyone invite her to a scuba party knowing she can’t scuba! Show your tits as revenge, Lucy.

· Lucy Pinder in Nuts Magazine (your-daily-girl.com)

Lucy appeared on the cover of Loaded in 2004, and she hasn’t been back on it since then. What’s that about? Loaded figured she was long overdue for a tit-filled lad mag homecoming.

Anything new from the interview section? Well, apparently Lucy is really bad at telling jokes. She goes for one about a bar, a genie lamp, and a twelve-inch pianist—you know the one—and it doesn’t go to smoothly. Whatever, comedy < gorgeous boobs in Loaded.

· Lucy Pinder: Back In Loaded (prettyhotandsexy.sk)

Lucy Pinder and Eva Wyrwal, via Yuhmm (yuhmm.com)

As you may have heard on the news, the entire northeast corridor (including Fleshbot HQ!) is currently buried under a massive pile of snow, and completely debilitated. Had things gone as planned, Lucy Pinder would be trapped here with us!

Unfortunately, the post office must have lost the invitation we sent to Ms. Pinder—because we seriously can’t think of any other reason why she would have turned down a chance to spend Christmas Eve watching movies and eating Chinese food with none other than Fleshbot’s Supreme Editrix. But our loss is your gain: because Lucy was unable to make it to New York, she was able to spend her Crimbo somewhere warm, sunny, and supportive of topless sunbathing. And hey: at least she was nice enough to send us these postcards!

· Via Deep At Sea (deepatseaparadise.wordpress.com)

Jeez, ladies. Mrs. Claus isn’t going to be happy about this. A) You’ve totally swiped her look and B) now Mr. Claus is obsessed with lad mags. Way to confuse the whole naughty vs. nice system.

Anyhow, you know what our favorite thing about this spread is? It’s advent calendar style! After all, that chocolate gets stale so fast.