We never would’ve thought to dress up Rhian Sugden like Catherine Tramell, and frankly, we’re embarrassed about that. Rhian makes a smoking hot Sharon Stone, and we think she should star in a series of spreads based on other Stone films: Casino, Total Recall, The Quick and the Dead, let’s keep ‘em coming.

Showing up on the cover of Loaded with crosses all over the place, in the air, between your boobs, on the papal sash falling from your shoulders, busting out of your cassock, looking up to the heavens for guidance: what are you doing, Lucy Pinder? “It’s been quite a giggle,” she says, “I hope Catholics take it as an homage and do not get offended, after all, it’s just a pair of boobs!” Oh, is it, now?

We first heard about Katrina Darling (second cousin of Kate Middleton) last summer, a little before those topless pictures of the Duchess hit tabloids around Europe, and we haven’t heard from her since. Finally, we get a chance to hear her feelings on the matter, and since her feelings were published in Loaded, we get to see her mostly naked as well!

If you’re familiar with Danielle Sharp, then it should barely take half a second for this title to sound sexy, but if you’re more inclined to think of razor-sharp nipples or snipers hidden inside boobs, then you have a longer brain path to travel before arriving at Horny Town. We’re in both camps.

If there’s one thing we love in this world, it’s banana pudding. A little further down on the list: new lad’s mag babes. We’re too lazy to deal with desserts right now, but we are more than capable of ogling the big pierced boobs belonging to Beth Humphreys, an eighteen year-old sweetheart from Manchester.

Sometimes lad mags have their girls show their entire breasts and sometimes they don’t; it largely depends on the model. Rhian Sugden is the type to flash them titties, Danica Thrall isn’t, and now they’re in the same spread. What do you think about that? How does this make you feel?

This twenty-something from Bournemouth is pretty insistent that you meet her on the beach in Greece and then take her out for some Greek food, but besides that, she’s rather lenient. She doesn’t care how you look, what you drink, or even if you fall asleep too early for sex.

After looking through the pictures that Loaded took of Sabrine and Ellis chilling by the pool, we know for a fact that our dreams are going to be affected. What will happen to us? Better question, what will happen to you? If you tend to sleepwalk, you might want to go to bed wearing a bathing suit, because you’re either going to end up at your local swimming hole or on some slightly damp sheets.

She’s constantly posing for different magazines, she’s doing a big shoot in Ibiza, she’s participating in a cross-continent road rally, and she has more acting gigs coming up soon. We’re a little worried about Lucy Pinder! When does she get time to relax? When will she finally sit down and look at all the hard work she’s doing? We do that all the time, and let us tell you, looking at Lucy is exhausting (in the best possible way).

Yo, the vast majority of your ass is visible, and you only need two-thirds of your ass visible in order to call your cutoff jeans a thong. We don’t make the rules, that’s just how Ass Congress works (better known as Congrass).

We’re always amused by the quotes that lad mags will pull to pair with naked pictures. Someone asked Page 3 megababe Kelly Hall if she’d rather have a beard of bees or a swim in a bath of snakes, and she said, “Yeah, I’m fine with snakes. Bees can fuck off, they scare me.” For some reason, that response was dubbed sexy enough to be blown up and paired with an image of a topless Kelly in a tub. But why?

Or, at least we do. Especially when they’re busty and British, with a bit of a naughty streak. Cue Lucy Collett — get in here, girl!

She’s got the lights, she’s got the cigars, and she’s got the feathery wings to top your tree with. Though none of those are guaranteed to be for you, unfortunately. Luckily, she’s willing to substitute for your Christmas tree. She’s got lights wrapped around her and everything! Actually, that would

Thought you knew your letters? Think again. Rosie Jones and Loaded Magazine are here to undo all that pesky traditional learning you did in school, and to replace it with the sexier side of the English language. Not just the British side, either. We’d like Rosie to be our teacher

Well, unfortunately not completely. But if you’re interested in seeing her breasts struggle to escape the confines of her bra (and we know you are), take a look at this video from her Loaded Magazine photoshoot. If nothing else, you can root them on. We’re pleased to be seeing Jessica

We love hearing what lad mag babes think about the world, but Sabine J recently said, “British girls are sexier. The models here all seem so intelligent.” Hey, just because you have 32F boobs doesn’t mean you can talk smack. (Ok, it sort of does.) Also, she has a long

This regal lad mag beauty said so in her latest interview/shoot with Loaded magazine. We assume she’s saving her heart for a humble porn journalist living in New York who loves baking and puppies. Whoever that might be… Unrequited love aside, we really want to read the rest of this

We get the lad mag babe part—it’s Elle Basey doing her thing in Loaded, what with the toplessness and the beauty and whatnot—but seeing Steve Coogan pop -up and cup her tits caught us off guard. It all has something to do with Loaded’s Comedy Special. Coogan is playing a

The Brunettes have become too powerful in the lad mag world: Rosie Jones, India Reynolds, and now Lacey Banghard. Melissa Debling decided to make a final stand on behalf of all the Blondes, challenging India to a booty-flaunting contest. Lad mag beauties stage fights like these all the time, but

Lucy appeared on the cover of Loaded in 2004, and she hasn’t been back on it since then. What’s that about? Loaded figured she was long overdue for a tit-filled lad mag homecoming. Anything new from the interview section? Well, apparently Lucy is really bad at telling jokes. She goes