As far as office accoutrements go, sure, maybe an amber-encrusted butterfly thing is pretty cool. But we’d sweep that shit off the desk in an instant if proposed with the (better) option of Lexi Belle’s booty. Those papers are hella secure under the heft of her sweet, sweet ass. It’s even better if that ass is anchored by a stud banging away at it. Now, we’re not saying those docs will be fresh and crisp, or even that they won’t get doused in some kind of body juices. But, uh, it’s Lexi Belle. If she wants to sign off some deals with her pussy we think that’s totally accepted in the business world.

We’re not gonna lie. This is one of our favorite trailers we’ve watched in a long time. It was a perfect Friday afternoon jerk, and we recommend you try it at various other days and hours and send us your notes. So what do we love about it? Besides the totally dream team cast of adorable girls with really fine squeezable fuckable asses, this series has a conceit that we actually find very very sex positive: reminding everyone that anal sex is hottest with lots and lots and LOTS of lube.

All we can see is Lexi Belle having her way with a nice-looking partner — that’s all we can handle. What’s off in the distance we can’t even fathom. What do you see out there, Lexi Belle? Is it a frolicking group of unicorns prancing by the forest? Is it a sailboat on the horizon? We’re not sure, because we’ve only got eyes for you, girl, and you’ve got us covered.

It’s cool that we have a “Mother Lover’s Society” in this country, but has anybody ever stopped to figure out what their tenets are? Or why there are now eight distinct units currently operating without any apparent central organization? Could it be that the “Mother” is the Motherland and “Society” is an allusion to socialism? We’re just saying Skin Diamond eats pussy like a Soviet agent, that’s all.

I have always been confused by Elegant Angel’s choice to release its “Performers of the Year” for the current year in January. It’s not like the 2013 Honda CR-V, in which the aerodynamic and sporty XUV is new for that model year; “Performers of the Year” implies that the rest of the year is cake, and these ladies have already won.

As you probably know, Lexi Belle recently lost her on-screen anal virginity to James Deen. It’s a momentous occasion for any pornstar, so you can imagine what kind of swelling and overwhelming emotions visited Lexi–a seven-year veteran of the industry–when her backdoor was opened for the very first time! “It was one of the best moments of my life,” she says. “Better than graduation, moving out of my parents house, losing my virginity…”

Because we heard from a reliable source that anal sex with Lexi Belle ushers in world peace (thanks, Mr. Deen) without further ado, we present a lengthy preview to the film Lexi. Said anal exchange occurs amidst a host of other joyful sights, including babely cunnilingus in a roller skating rink. We agree with James on the whole butt part, but we think as a whole package this introduction to Lexi might save us all.

It’s always mating season in Porn Valley, and therefore the males of the species are constantly putting out displays of manliness that are designed to attract females and intimidate other males; one such practice is the act of stealing the undergarments of ladies after having sex with them. It’s time to put on your best David Attenborough voice, because we’re about to observe this ritual in action.

You know, your humble correspondents here at Fleshbot watch a helluva lot of porn. We do it for you, we do it for love, we do it for the good of humanity. After a while, a lot of it just looks like pleasant moving shapes. Then every so often something catches our eyes that makes our boners go “Whooooooaaaaa!” And the sight of a cheer captain reaching into the uniform of her fellow cheer squader really got us going this morning.

This year’s Dirty Dozen reflects wise and difficult choices in the Pornographic Arts.

Elegant Angel’s “Lexi” not only makes you want to get to know Lexi Belle better, but it also makes you want to have sex with her.

We don’t mean to reduce ourselves to blithering fanboys but… nope, wait, we do. Lexi Belle is worth it. Lexi Belle is the kind of girl that reminds your jaded correspondents why people become totally obsessed with porn stars and wish they were their girlfriends. She roller skates in sequined shorts and humps fountains and does girls like she means it or does two guys at once or tells a date they can skip food and go straight to fucking and she grins and puts her hand on her face like she just heard a great joke when she’s getting fucked in the ass and her cum drunk face is just divine.

Instead of thinking about who is the target demographic for a porn parody of Japanimation source material aimed at pre-teens, let’s rather expand our gaze to those who want to fuck Asa Akira and Lexi Belle. See? Now we don’t feel creepy at all.

Phoenix Marie is a brick house. You want her to show up in some Bukowski story or R. Crumb comic out-drinking the mailman. But since we don’t make those movies too much, it’s good to see her in warrior drag, squiring around Lexi Belle, who looks tiny by comparison.

Alexis
Texas is my Platonic Ideal of porn stars; her weight is refreshing, and her knees are dirty.

But you know what? We feel that putting too much emphasis on Lexi Belle’s anal scene would be doing a disservice to the rest of the film, which is wonderful in a variety of ways that don’t all involve P touching A. First and foremost, Lexi deserves “Lexi” because she’s a hardworking adult video veteran who somehow never ages past barely legaldom.

Trapped in the lizard brain of the uneven “Batgirl XXX” is a really good porn movie that is hindered time and again by porn’s rogues gallery: marble-mouthed delivery and slipshod attention to detail.

Yes, yes, yes! A thousand more times, yes! Lexi Belle has been in the porn game since 2006, IAFD estimates she has around 400 titles under her belt, and yet she’s never done anal on camera. Friends, it’s finally happened, and as soon as Elegant Angel releases “LEXI” to the public, we’ll all bear witness to the historic moment when James Deen slipped his dick in her backdoor. That feeling you have in your chest right now? It’s normal, we all feel it.