In honor of our visit to Toronto last week for the Feminist Porn Awards, we thought we’d post this clip from one of Aslan Leather’s Switch parties, which are incredibly fun queer fuck fests (we don’t know anything about that, of course, we always drink a glass of warm almond milk and head to bed by ten when we’re traveling).

Girls and motorcycles. What is it about them that goes together like bagels and lox? Perhaps it’s the enormous macho vibrating machine between the elegant legs of a fashion queen. Throw in some leather and satin and killer heels and devil horns and you’ve got yourself the perfect date to a “Bad Music for Bad People” listening party.

Are you in love with someone but don’t know how to show it? We’ve all been there before, and fortunately for you, Fleshbot knows the perfect way to express your feelings without coming on too strongly. You just get your loved one’s address and send them a gift basket of Othilia Simon and Daria Pleggenkuhle! It’s like an Edible Arrangement that eats you.

We’re pretty sure this act of pants-splitting was intentional, but nonetheless, it says some pretty powerful things about that popstar posterior. Today, Lady Gaga’s ass is tearing leather; tomorrow, the fabric of spacetime.

This is not the first time we’ve seen leather harnesses in haute couture. Isn’t it time this trend explodes already? We’re not usually fans of the mainstream media appropriating subcultures but we think it would be just so lovely if leather harnesses were interchangeable with bras. Or shirts!

One minute it’s smacking this sweet little chickie’s ass raw, and the next it’s bestowing it with a loving caress. We just don’t know what to believe — will it earn our trust through a sensual touch, only to betray it with a hefty wallop when we least expect? Well… it’s a good thing we like both those extremes, at least when it comes to leather gloves.

Follow-up question: why is it that the name Jessica becomes a dozen times sexier when you spell it Jesica, as in Jesica Herenu? Are we suckers for a strangely-spelled name, or are we attracted to the economy of her lettering? Could this have something to do with the fact that Jesica’s boobs are looking a little sensitive and strangled in that harness of hers? Signs point to yes.

Are you in love with a mega-babe but can’t get her to do your bidding? Has she told you time and time again that your thin skin makes you weak and unappealing? You should curb that, homie; buy yourself some luscious leather that matches the cold blackness of your pupils! That mega-babe will be your best friend, lover, confidant, back scratcher, whatever you want.

What can we say about leather that we haven’t already said a billion times in this very forum? Suffice to say we love it, and we always relish a new spin on leather attire. This pale pinkish brown looks great against this model’s skin and it kinda of makes us

Leather. You love it. We love it. PETA doesn’t love it, but as much as we care about cute animals, PETA has been sorta wacky lately. And while we are so very very into black (it goes with everything!) we appreciate somebody who switches it up. Especially when switching it up means skin-tight super-shiny gold leather dress on Cheryl Cole’s bangin’ bod.

We’re not going to lie. Part of the reason we’re posting these pictures of Alyona Subbotina from Treats! magazine is that we think her kitty cat mask is made out of chocolate sprinkles, and that would make her ice cream, and oh man we’re totally craving a sundae right now. With nipples on top.

Oh, we mean to be a fly babe on the wall. Like this one. But we guess the concept of passive observation the term usually denotes doesn’t quite work if said fly/babe is blindfolded. Well, either way it’s fun for us to see. And, hell, we’re sure it’s fun for her, too. To sense.

So today’s theme is punk fashion. If you can call a mohawk created with bobby pins and hairspray punk. Which we will, thank you very much. We are endowed with the powers to declare anything punk. Leather also makes for insta-punk, as does writing on mirrors in lipstick. As does a pretty vacant stare. Wait, does this mean all supermodels are punk? Stop the presses!

Or maybe you didn’t give to charity; in that case, these boobs are not for you. Oh, who are we kidding? Even if you had no idea that Adrianne Curry was fundraising for noble causes, you still deserve a glimpse at her beautiful bare torso because this is America or something like that.

We know you’ve been hemming and hawing about getting involved in BDSM, and that’s perfectly normal, and we’re not here to judge you. However, we think 2013 could be your year, the year when you finally take the plunge and start to develop a wardrobe of vinyl, leather, and chains. The first step: get yourself a KinkyStyle calendar and get inspired.

You can even leave the party favors at home. No, you don’t need to bring a cornucopia of crudités or even a hostess gift. All you need is your favorite dildo at hand, your fanciest leather and latex fetish ensemble, and a pussy that’s ready for some grand entertainment. Check, check, and check!

Cheerleaders — gotta love ‘em. With their teeny skirts and boundless enthusiasm, they made mandatory pep rallies bearable. Now, imagine cheerleaders who are into hard bondage. That really gives us something to be peppy about…