It’s almost like the girl next door, but, uh, way better. Because, sure, you might admire your favorite neighborhood babe, but it’s from afar. The chick on your dick, however, you can hold and watch and love and bang all right there. And that can feel so gratifying, you know? There’s definitely an exquisite beauty and pain in unrequited love, and we’ll swoon over it as much as the next bleeding-heart romantic. But sometimes whackin’ off is preferable to swooning — we’re gonna go ahead and say this is one of those times.

Well, isn’t this just the sweetest thing? It’s cuter than a basketful of puppies, we tell ya. We’ve definitely got a (sorta pervy) smile on our face. If anything though, this babe’s bangin’ body is enough to part the clouds and make a million rainbows beam down upon us. Seeing it get doggystyle banged is just an added boon.

Uh, yeah, we can’t tell if we want to unhinge our jaw and wolf this mf-er down, or run in fear because it’s pretty damn intimidating. It’s awakening our fight or flight response, and though sometimes we’re inclined to take the easy route and avoid confrontation, we’re into the idea of tackling this mondo-dong head-on (literally! Oh yeah.) So’s this bold biddie.

Okay, so there are probably many of us out there who’ve been caught up with the kissing cousins bug. We’re not gonna advocate one way or another on the larger issue here, but we will say this: if our cousins were as babely as Kat Dior and Daisy Leon, you’d be hard pressed to find us keeping our mouths off of them.

You ever drive around your neighborhood, see a great parking space, think: “Wow! I should park there!” and then remember you already have a great parking space? That’s like seeing Emy Reyes selling ice cream from a pushcart. It makes me want to move to Chatsworth and then I remember I already live there.

Ah, we remember when anal was an unexplored frontier for us, virginal territory that remained uncharted due to trepidation, uncertainty, and/or impatience. Ha! Those days are long gone. But as much as we relish some good back-end loving, we still don’t possess quite the acrobatics or sheer physicality required to pull off some of these feats. May we sit back in slackjawed, wet-pantied awe at these anal masters at work.

Oh, Vicki Chase. You just couldn’t keep from mad shredding on the guitars upon the walls, couldn’t keep from tickling the ivories a spell, couldn’t keep from naked drumming at your neighborhood locally-owned music shop. Heck, you probably even snuck a guitar pick (lord knows where). Well, now you’re in for it! Those employees weren’t kidding. Now you’re getting flogged in the tit and being made to come in front of all the other browsing customers. How does that feel? Well, pretty good we’d imagine. We kind of wish all petty theft perpetrators were handled this way. We’d be a lot more inclined to look up when the alarm goes off at Duane Reade…

It’s no secret Francesca Le is the MILF of our dreams. But it wasn’t always so! Nay, she was once the cougar that prowled our heart. And her tits? They were positively teen-like! Now, of course we love Francesca no matter what arbitrarily determined pornstar age bracket she inhabits — but we’re definitely groovin’ on little Ms. Le. We almost want to start a family photo album so we can ooh and ah over every naked step this babe has taken. Hm, guess our extensive archive is a fine place to start…

She’s not just a pretty face and a tasty body; Adrianna Luna has been studying Muay Thai and Mixed Martial Arts for years upon years. She’s also a Penthouse Pet, NightMoves’s Best New Starlet, and an all-around amazing performer. Come, groove upon these spectacular scenes with us!

We like this gal because it’s obvious she’s got a deep love of dick. She just exudes it with every pore of her being (if saying, “I love your balls” weren’t enough). Take the BJ at hand: her eyes are half-closed in ecstasy, she’s got a blissful grin upon her face, and she goes all out tonguing and handing this shaft and these lucky damn balls with so much gusto we can practically taste it. Almost like she can taste those balls. And yeah, we both may have a lot of tasting going on — but we’re still smiling. Being cock-happy is contagious!

Get in touch with the softer side of Manuela at Abby Winters

See Barbi, Larissa, and their studly beau go at I Want Latina

Ass photocopying, they say, is a quick succession of curious sensations: sitting on the cool platen, the sudden heat of the scan, and the traveling light. But how often does it lead to fucking?

The similarities aren’t too far removed when it comes down to it: a sweet and tasty sheath hiding a sticky, chewy (..?) center. Okay, if your cum is chewy there may be some more issues at play here, but as far as we’re concerned, near any jizzload would be preferable to the crappy gum inside a Blow Pop.

All over Maria! And we can’t blame him. Everything about her sweet face has got us feeling ready to burst. Those cute little eyebrows? We want to cum on them. That neatly tied-back ponytail? We want to cum on it. And that charming, winning smile? Don’t even get us started on how much we wanna cum on that.

Hey, your dick is supposed to go inside Melanie Rios, bro! Don’t you know anything? We get it though, you just want her close — real close. We can’t blame you. We suppose it’s easier to just grab her booty and get to pumpin’ without worrying about any of that pesky penetration business. Skin-on-skin does always feels nice; we suppose this is like a close private part snugglefest, which doesn’t sound half bad. At least for a little while!

Do you find yourself turned-off by women who have sex with their bras on? We don’t, although we have issues with men who have sex with their T-shirts on. Strange, right? Nina Hartley fucks dudes with her lingerie on all the time and it’s awesome; Gene Simmons made that sex tape with his shirt on and we haven’t listened to KISS since.

Oh, it seems like it’s only in our wildest dreams that we’ve looked down our arm’s length to find a beautiful, be-boobied Latina princess receiving our most special bodygifts with grace, charm, and daintily capering fingertips. And those bangin’ tits. But now, thanks to ultra-futuristic GIFing technology, an active imagination, and maybe some squinting of the eyes, this licentious wet dream can become a(n almost) reality. Candy Cox, you are our new internet girlfriend. Pleased to slam you.

Watch Aria Salazar wake up for fun at Babes.com

We’re sure not all babes and studs descending from south of the border uphold the reputation of being the smoothest, the sexiest, the most sensual and downright flyest lovers upon this big globe of ours — but we can’t help but entertain the fantasy. There’s a mystique and prowess behind the guise of the dark and handsome lover, and we’ll swoon every time.