We could seriously watch Melissa Debling take off her clothes all day. We’d have her put em back on and take em off again over and over til she’d worked up a sweat. How do some girls get so damn good at taking their clothes off? Do they practice in front of the mirror from the age of 13?

We’ve been saying this for years: Converse sneakers are the high heels of the future. And the future is now. It arrived sooner than we anticipated, like an overeager party guest. At least it brought a nice bottle of scotch. But now we have to awkwardly entertain the future while we wait for our friends who are gonna be fashionably late, because we always want what we haven’t got.

Ahhh, the camera as phallic symbol. Of course it’s the dominant gaze, with so much agency, and it has those penetrating lenses. So when Chloe Michele holds it up to her crotch, and points it in our general direction, we can’t help but get funny feelings about who wears the pants in this relationship.

We like a nice photoshoot in bed. Let’s just skip all the seduction of these elaborate locations and get Sabine where we want her – on her back with us on top of her! Satin sheets are very romantic, and what happens when you’re not in bed is absolutely nothing at all because when Sabine gives you that look you never ever get out of bed again. You’ll turn off your damn phone and order food to be delivered and pee in a water bottle and forget you even know how to put on pants.

So airbrushing can be a wonderful thing for all sorts of reasons. However, editing nipples out from under garments that are obviously see-through is just a cruel, cruel tease. You don’t have to be masters of textiles like we are here at Fleshbot to know that lace is transparent. That is like one of the first things you glean from pouring over underwear catalogues. Which we do. For research. For our nipple visibility advocacy volunteer work. Hrm. Anyway. Berenice Marlohe, we love you, and your implied nipps, and your fantastic sleek near-nudity, and not just because your first name makes us think of delicious brunch sauces.

You’ve gotta love pictures taken in front of windows. Because they beg the question – who is down below looking up, and just how good is their view? It makes you want to walk around cities with your neck craned hoping for a glimpse of a photo shoot or some exhibitionist fuckfest against a high-rise window. If you bump into someone, just explain what you’re up to. They’ll understand.

Is there anything more alluring than a girl who will rock your world and then talk comic books with you after? What’s that you say? Just because she’s got those panties on doesn’t mean she actually likes or  appreciates comics? Oh ye of little faith! Give this babe the benefit of the doubt! Lots of sexy alt broads know their Marvel from their DC. Trust us, we collect them!

We love full frontal nudity as much as the next guy. Ok, maybe more! We also love vintage lingerie and bikinis and sheer skin-tight dresses. But sometimes a pair of jeans on a lady just make things seem more realistic. A boob poking out from a top you might actually wear in public is something special when compared to the endless parade of boobs we’re used to (you know, it’s a tough job but somebody’s gotta do it!). Simple white panties spilling out of some rugged jeans feels way more like we’re seeing something we’re not supposed to.

In the 90′s, we always dreamed of a grunge girlfriend of our very own. We would call her Mudhoney and we would lay about in our Northwest squat listening to mix tapes and screwing the angst away. We would share unwashed flannel and Doc Martins and clove cigarettes and pawnshop bass guitars and sludgy black coffee.

Don’t get us started on hot tubs.We love em whether they’re time machines or Eddie Murphy James Brown jokes. And lest we forgot, Jacuzzi jets are the best thing to happen to orgasms since shower nozzles. And Hitachis. And mouths. Ok, a lot of great things have happened for orgasms in our modern world but do all of them come complete with a full body soak?

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who go to the gym to work out, and people go to the gym to check out. And by check out we mean cruise and be cruised. The gym is way better than a bar to see what people are like when they’re scantily clad, soaked in sweat, and breathing heavy from exertion. We can’t think of any way that would apply to their bone-ability … can you?

We never know what to wear to job interviews when we wanna look respectable yet persuasive. Maybe we should take a cue from Rosie Jones and match a fierce blazer with some garter-patterned tights and … um…not much else!

We dream of owning a little plot of land one day far away from this crazy city life. We’ll grow organic veggies and let our pets room free. And of course Sammi Jo’s perky nipples and round ass will be there, constantly spilling out of her sensible clothes.

When we saw Vikki Blows wearing a Misfits shirt, we were absolutely stoked. We love Vikki and we love The Misfits! Double win, right? Wrong. We can’t admire her t-shirt and her tits at the same time. What do we do? What would Glenn Danzig do? If Glenn Danzig were

When we last left Melissa and Hannah, they were driving around topless without a care in the world. Now they’re stuck in their hotel room on a rainy day and they have nothing to do but take topless pictures of each other. Bummer? At least they have each other, and

There’s nothing like feeling the wind in your hair as you drive towards the beach, smelling the first hints of sea salt. Ok, there’s one thing like that, and it’s feeling the wind on your nipples, but the sea salt doesn’t come into play. Will you help us with something?

You know how much twirling it takes to get one photo of Rosie Jones’s skirt flying up? That girl got diz-zy. This behind-the-scenes footage really makes us feel for Rosie, and we hope she had somewhere comfy to fall. Is it strange that we’re more interested in Rosie skirt than

We’ve already discussed the hottest pornstar Twitter accounts around, so we figured now would be a good time to get to know the tweets of those teasing temptresses known as lad mag babes. Well, at least the babes who haven’t made their accounts private. We’re sad to say that Rosie

Rosie Jones has a green thumb and a big heart, and no one wants to tell her that watering the flowers with bottles of hard cider is a bad idea. She just wants to party with plants! Who would stop that? Fortunately, she’s heard that exposing her tits on a

Perhaps she’s a little too late to be a part of “This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX,” but lad mag legend Emma Frain still wants the world to know that she ain’t afraid of no ghost. Or her vagina doesn’t have any ghosts. Something like that. We wonder if angry spirits will