Aren’t they glorious? Kim Kardashian, Elsa Pataky, and Amy Smart: three different women, three different outfits, six points of excited flesh sticking out in the cool spring breeze. This picture reminds us that no matter who we are or what we wear, the changing of the seasons grabs us all equally and announces our joy to the world. Our nipples are stiff right now just thinking about it!

We have three theories about this dress and how it got to be on Kim Kardashian’s body. Theory 1: This dress is Kim’s tribute to Powergirl. Theory 2: This is Kim’s tribute to the Large Hadron Collider; she’s honoring the observance of the Higgs boson by showing us the spot where her breasts collide. Theory 3: Kanye chose this dress for her (it happens).

We’re not saying you have to be in love with Kim Kardashian, watch her on TV, or follow her on Twitter (however, we strongly urge you to follow Kim Kierkegaardashian), but if you’re an American who can name a few celebrities, there’s a big chance that you will look to see Kim’s cleavage popping out of these corsets.

Look at Kim Kardashian walking down the street. If she gets too excited at any given point, her switchblade nipples will come out and slice through her bra, her top, and anybody standing too close to her. That’s why she has this look of intense concentration on her face; she’s practicing intense self-mastery in order to preserve her clothing.

She’s gorgeous on the front, too–and everybody knows that the front side has a lot of neat stuff–but with her big butt visible through her translucent skirt, we have to thank the universe for this particular view. And let’s not forget about that back of hers!

This post does not care about how you feel about Kim Kardashian, the Kardashian-Jenner Empire, or reality stars in general. You need to curb that business right now because we are here to salute Kim’s mega-cleavage and we don’t want anything interfering with the figurative fist bump we’re sending her way. Kim, girl, your boobs are on another level.

What do Amanda Seyfried, Kim Kardashian, and Elizabeth Hurley all have in common? They all have sharp, stiff, and/or excited nipples poking through their clothes! Since these three women are displaying erect nipples, we imagine that all of Los Angeles is under a similar spell. We suspect global climate change is at work.

This picture recently went viral when someone said it was Kim Kardashian’s backside as photographed by Kanye West. It’s not true, people! That ass belongs to the one and only Amia Miley, and she tweeted it herself over a year ago. Sure, it makes for a less interesting story, but we have to speak the truth.

Sometimes we feel like Luke Skywalker, and our vision is a proton torpedo, and celebrity nudity is the thermal exhaust port, and Kim Kardashian is the Death Star (no offense). We only have one chance to see her nipple, but if we time it right, we’ll be able to wedge our eyeballs between her breast and dress.

Did we accidentally step in a time machine and send ourselves back to 2007? Because suddenly it seems like all anyone can talk about is naked pictures of Kim Kardashian.

Long, long ago, in a galaxy where Kim Kardashian had yet to have a 72 hour marriage, our favorite voluptuous Armenian did a photo shoot for Playboy…and, as is often the case, the photos ended up online. But not all the photos, it seems: in addition to the outtakes (which, of course, made their way into the public eye), there’s also this photo, which has just popped up in a European publication.

Since Vivid distributed the sex tape that made Kim Kardashian famous, it’s only right that they would “honor” her wedding with a contest which boasts the grand prize of a honeymoon sex tape directed by B. Skow. We guess this is Vivid’s version of giving Kim away at the altar

We admire Kim’s effort to be klassy, and we feel she’s made real progress in that direction by actually having underwear on under that body-hugging LBD. It distracts us from the enormous rock on her finger saying, “You’ll never have me.” We suppose that Kim’s impending nuptials mean we won’t

Though there were a lot of terrible parts to 2010 (like that whole oil spill thing, for one), there were a lot of really great ones, too. Mostly the ones that involved boobs. And thankfully, it seems that one Kim Kardashian is planning on keeping 2011 breastacular…well, if these photos

By now, we’ve all pretty much figured out that Kim Kardashian enjoys being nude—and even being photographed in that state, too. In fact, you might just say it’s her greatest talent—so why is she still doing anything else? Look, Kim, we’re going to level with you: as amazing as your

Who would have thought that Playboy would succeed where Vivid failed? We spent all of “Kim Kardashian, Superstar” waiting to see Kim’s boobs…and then Playboy offers her a cover and they “accidentally” pop out? Well, whatever the story, we’re just glad someone got them on tape (and that the photos

Many years ago, a young reality star and sex tape vixen named Kim Kardashian posed for Playboy. But apparently not all of the photos she posed for were published by Playboy…until now! Maybe next week there’ll be a bulletin about secret outtakes from Olivia Munn’s shoot? Ones that actually reveal

You may find yourself a bit distracted by the rocking cleavage that Kim Kardashian is sporting, but don’t let that steal your focus (well, not for too long, anyway). There’s important panty detective work to be done! (Egotastic)

Bikini season is (finally!) in full swing…and thankfully, that means a whole host of celebrity bikini photos. Kim Kardashian is just the tip of the iceberg…but oh, what a sexy tip. (Egotastic

While piracy might not be the sole reason America’s Porno Industrial Complex is flailing (the mere existence of Kim Kardashian and Britney Soears seems like twin death knells on legs), some pornographers are appealing to our hearts via their breasts. Charlie Laine appears in this professionally-produced ad for adult trade