That’s really quite lucky for us, because if they were, you know, just marching down to their local Duane Reade or to return books to the library that would be way less cool. Yeah, Katie seems like one of the lovelier things one could storm.

I never met anyone like Riley Reid when I had to take a summer typing class at a junior college.

What makes people fall in love? There’s a huge question. We don’t know about most of the hoi polloi, but as far as the couples in this fine film are concerned, they all doubled up so they’d have an easier time hopping into group sex scenarios. The best part about being a twosome is that you’re always primed for a threesome!

This loooong clip is heavy on the interviews but also features some clips from the scenes. Call us romantic, call us intellectuals, call us nerds: but we love watching people fuck waaay more when we’ve just heard their interviews. It’s like your inside their brains! Which is kinda like being inside their cunts. Think about it!

Wrath! Wrath from the hands and toes! Wrath muffled by wet panties wadded up and stuffed in the mouth! Ass gravity and gushing come raining down on the faces of the innocent! You’ve probably read about all this in cuneiform, but now it’s back, for Belladonna has unleashed “No Warning 7″ upon the world.

In this adult tribute to 80′s college sex comedies, Marie McCray and Skin Diamond want to be part of some sorority, so they agree to be subjected to anything. And all they have to do is 69 each other? While a bunch of other sexy girls cheer them on? Um, excuse us, we’d like to be inducted into this sorority as well.

When your matriarch is the one and only MILF above all MILFs Nina Hartley, you’re probably going to learn some unique values. For many, hospitality means being welcoming, open, generous, and stuffing your guests full of food. For Nina, hospitality means fucking your daughter’s boyfriend’s father because you don’t want him to feel left out.

We think it’s sweet that Digital Playground decided not to name the sequel to “Cola” something boring like “Cola II” and instead went with the charming request of “More Cola Please.” What good manners! We can hear BiBi Jones saying it in a coquettish tone or with a husky smolder; it would sound equally sexy being said around Erik Everhard’s cock, but Bibi knows better than to talk with her mouth full.

Male superiority and dominance is absolute bull mess, and any social or political institution that prolongs the agony of women by restricting their bodily freedoms, giving them unfair pay, or otherwise treating them as inferior creatures must be dismantled and used to give Jessie Andrews head.

Like, for real, we are scared of these sex toys. If we were walking around in broad daylight, and one of these toys started walking in our direction, we’d cross the street. Fortunately, there are many women who are able, willing, and often in the mood to handle these missile-sized members, and we feel better knowing that the dildos are securely tucked away in their pussies.

Had there just been a Professor Gape, this may have all gone better.

You know the stuff that collects between your toes? We’re calling that “schmutz” now, “toe schmutz” if you want to be specific, because that gunk is nothing like jam, jelly, or marmalade. From now on, when you say “toe jam,” you will be referring to the act of jamming your toes in someone’s mouth while they fuck you. Somebody tell the dictionary people to note these changes.

As we were looking over the pictures for this fantastically steamy vagina-on-vagina movie, we realized that two of the sex scenes take place in big, lavish beds, and the other two happen on couches that look nothing like office couches, and we’re wondering if this is a representation of the online workforce. Think about it: there are thousands of people who don’t have an office space, and yet they still need to see lesbian workplace porn that reflects their lives.

When we got a CD full of stills from Bobbi Starr’s latest movie, we said to ourselves, “Oh wow, ‘Spit’ looks like it’s going to be great! We enjoy some saliva now and then, let’s take a look.” No joke, some of these photos made us gag. We consider that a good thing.

Though it’s not that unusual for us to be excited by a porn trailer (it’s part of why we, you know, run a porn blog), it’s pretty rare that we see something that blows us away quite like this trailer for Sam Hain’s “The Valley” just did.

Porn teaches us so much. Did you know that routine discrimination by uniformly hot girls against negligibly smaller uniformly hot girls was a thing? Neither did we until “Revenge of the Petites.”

Skin Diamond and Marie McCray thought college was going to be a blast, but they had no idea that the school was run by sorority of tall, busty, bitchy babes, so they’re joining forces with a sorority for petite girls to form their very own itty bitty titty terror squad! AMKingdom presents this Harry Sparks film, and the theme song is so good that we’ve been humming it all day.

Prison is a hard road, especially in an economic crunch that forces inmates to take their conjugal visits in their cells with their cellmates watching. Plus, what if your wife, Katie St. Ives, likes your cellmate better?

Cuckolding–like Sean Michaels’s cock–is large, complicated, and on Julia Ann’s mind. Fortunately, cuckolding porn is simple: cougars have wants and needs that can’t be fulfilled by thin-dicked men, and that is how it shall be for all eternity.