Do you want a loving and tender couples’ film you can watch with your timid and quivering partner so that she/he may feel sexually reassured and empowered? Then don’t watch “Trashy,” because it’s too awesome.
It’s a comforting thought, isn’t it? We’re all made of the same smashed-together and cooked down components of the universe that everything else is. You may be thousands of mile away from the adorable and depraved Marica Hase, but the eyelashes on your face share ancient lineage with all three sperm loads dripping down her cheek, and thus, you are truly one.
Phoenix Marie is a brick house. You want her to show up in some Bukowski story or R. Crumb comic out-drinking the mailman. But since we don’t make those movies too much, it’s good to see her in warrior drag, squiring around Lexi Belle, who looks tiny by comparison.
We’re extremely proud of Juelz Ventura for doing her first double penetration scene, and so we figured now would be a good time to look back on her career and examine the other moments that made us go “Oh!” as well as “Ungh, yeah.”
Friends, we’re having a little trouble thinking about this film in a sexy light with the name “Anal Plungers” looming over it all. Let’s just put the title behind us and focus on the fact that Juelz Ventura gets her first taste double penetration in this film–she is, in essence, plunging headfirst into a new world of anal-based delights.
We’ve already seen some of the swords, sandals, and sex that’s packed into Exquisite Films’ latest parody, but now–as if by magic–we get to see that sex in motion. Here, for the very first time, is the hardcore trailer for “Xena Warrior Princess XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody.”
There are a lot of steps you can take to improve your chances of having a successful orgy, but when you get down to what really matters, it’s all about how experienced the participants are. That’s why these “Orgy Masters” can decide to form a pile of bodies without warning: they know what goes where and when, and nobody has to remind them to lube up or scoot over or form a daisy chain.
Behold, the ruthless pillager turned noble adventurer is in a new chapter of life, and she has tossed her armor aside. Fret not, for Xena hasn’t given up the way of the warrior, she’s just realized that the tight leather duds get make it hard to go down on Gabrielle. Friends, this is a porn parody that powerfully needed to be made.
When we got a CD full of stills from Bobbi Starr’s latest movie, we said to ourselves, “Oh wow, ‘Spit’ looks like it’s going to be great! We enjoy some saliva now and then, let’s take a look.” No joke, some of these photos made us gag. We consider that a good thing.
We like facials, but we’d pay good money to watch a movie in which Katie St. Ives turns on the bullet time and barrel rolls away from the fat ropes of jizz that are flying through the air towards her face. Anyway, that’s not this movie. This is about women who face their facials with bravery, and we are about to conscientiously objectify them.
For the record, Jules Jordan’s assertion that these are “the hottest stars from the states” is somewhat struck down by the fact that Katsuni is from France and Juelz Ventura is from Brazil. That being said, you can’t spell “citizenship” without “penis,” and these girls certainly get their fair share
Normally porn leads the pack in technology and media delivery systems, but with the financial effects of piracy deeply reverberating through porn valley we’re falling behind and taking our cues from the mainstream. Penthouse is the first major adult company to invest deeply in 3D technology. They started shooting in
The way we see it, the whole “death and taxes” shtick is played out. The only things we can count on in this world are breasts, butts, and the occasional bit of body modification. “Tits, Tats, N’ Ass” seems a bit like Bluebird’s answer to the Burning Angel hegemony, but
“I find I write better without pants on,” says Hank Moody (Anthony Rosano) in this splendid porndaptation of “Californication.” “So I’m doing that.” (I guess the Gawker office is on Google Maps again.) The Official Californication Parody Studio: Diabolic Director: Nate Liquor Starring: Anthony Rosano, Bella Bauxx, Ashli Orion, Nicole
Well, this is interesting: just as Hustler unveils their first tattooed cover girl, Inked magazine announces their first Sex Issue, featuring a spread of the hottest tattooed porn girls. Porn and tattoos together at last: who could have predicted this? Well, probably anyone who’s paid attention over the past few
Independent of the rest of the movie (which is a refreshing departure from standard porn fare), it is fun to watch Sasha Grey simply wander around naked in the desert. Normally we only get to watch Randy Quaid do that. Malice in La La Land Director: Lew Xypher Starring: Sasha
Lexi Belle, trying to play wholesome, instead comes off as learning disabled, giggling and mincing, talking to herself and others in a high-pitched voice … it made me wonder what Max Hardcore might have done with the script. Red Riding Hood XXX Studio: Triple X Parody Director: Ashlynn Brooke Starring:
A few months ago, we got word of an upcoming vajazzling porn—but since the press release was sent out on April 1, we wrote it off as a joke. Well, months later, we’ve been proven the real fool. Yes, people: 3rd Degree has just announced a June 15 street date
Ann Marie Rios, Daisy Sparks, Avy Scott, Sammie Rhodes, Capri Anderson, Charley Chase, Halie James, Juelz Ventura, Andy San Dimas, and Sara Sloane are all professional lesbians. Nevertheless, we suggest you try this at home as soon as possible. Luckily for us, Zero Tolerance’s newest release, “Damn She’s A Lesbian,”
When it comes to drop dead beautiful lesbians for hire, New Sensations contract star Ashlynn Brooke really knows her stuff. That’s why we got excited when we heard she was releasing a 2nd installment of her lesbian fantasies. One good look at the gallery they sent over, and you will
