Huh, in Joanna Angel’s strip club VIP room it looks like there are no holds barred. So there Zarrah was, wandering in, perhaps hoping for a glass of some bubbly and some lap dances (no touching!). Little did she expect she’d get Joanna’s hands up her puss, making her do her own sort of bunny hop. Jeeze, that Joanna Angel really knows how to treat her guests right! We have a feeling Zarrah will be a repeat customer…

Supreme Commandress Joanna Angel just posted a gallery of herself having some nasty phone sex, and although it’s hot as hell, it’s missing one important thing: dirty talk. We know you’ve always wanted to put things in Joanna’s mouth, and now you can! It’s probably not what you were hoping for, but it’s a start.

We can think of basically no one else we’d rather have guiding, fapping, and serving as general convoy for our slam session than the lovely and talented Jiz Lee. Joanna Angel and James Deen are a lucky twosome! This is like having Tom Colicchio look over your shoulder as you’re making a tomato sauce, like Man Ray helping you develop your photos, or like Mr. Rogers directing your puppet show. Jiz, more than supplying the joy of their foxy face upon the scene, also imparts wise ways — look at them mbate like a champ. They’re like a maestro conducting this sexy symphony with but a fingertip. We give it a standing O.

So we’ve hopefully all made it through holiday go-time, emerging with a few more useful (or not) items and a few more pounds upon our frames. Well, Joanna Angel’s got the right idea — as always. There’s no better way to get back in ship-shape form for New Year’s bangin’ then getting stuffed three ways to Sunday in a rigorous group-sexercise experiment.

We’ve been experimenting in pitting pornstars against — well, themselves, as colored through the varied lenses that span the wide, wild pornosphere. (Last time was Nina Hartley for Brazzers and Crash Pad Series). This time we’re taking a look at our favorite punky darling, Skin Diamond, who can alt it up with the badass clan at Burning Angel, while showcasing her submissive streak over with the pervs at Kink. Let’s get into some Skin, shall we?

If you’re gonna get fisted, you may as well put yourself in good hands (ha, ha). And who’s got some of the most experienced, best and cutest little hands in the biz but Joanna Angel? We’d let her do basically anything she wanted to us with them. Deliver a zealous spanking? Sure. Slap us across the face? Yeah, why the hell not. But fisting — ah, yes. For Joanna that’s a two-handed endeavor, as she really jams her mitts up in Taurus’s awesome snatch. That just might be the best use of hands as far as we’re concerned. Carry on, Ms. Angel. Carry on.

We know you’re passionate about voting and you’ve probably thought a lot about the candidates, their platforms, what they said during the debates, and all that important stuff, but we beg you not make any finals decisions until you’ve seen the way your potential future presidents pound Joanna Angel’s ass and pussy. We just want you to be responsible.

It’s a true champion who can be stuffed chock full o’ dicks and take them all with a smile. We salute you, Joanna. We can see what there is to grin about when one of said dicks belongs to James Deen, but when one is attached to Frankenstein’s monster? Well, that could venture into spooky territory. Luckily Ms. Angel’s not easily frightened, and her gallant snatch can take down most any beast. Looks like you can give up the search for some cobbled wife, Mr. Monster. The best babe you could find is right at your finger dicktip.

In the thrilling sequel to Chris Nieratko’s intimate interview with legendary pornstar Joanna Angel, our Supreme Commandress learns that baking cookies can be therapeutic, and provides an intimate and open venue for the airing of misery. Finally, this naked, tattooed goddess can heal from the three hours of anal sex she was paid to have with a flaccid penis.

We love love love Joanna Angel. It seems like the more famous she gets the more the stays the same – bright, understated, charmingly neurotic. She says things like “Porn helped me find my inner slutty demon,” and “There’s a lot of really smart women in porn.” Did we mention her tight little bod and how sexy and alive she is on camera? Swoon!

Though her porn has given us an inkling of what it might be like to have sex with Joanna Angel, we must admit we’re still curious to know what it would be like to sext our Supreme Commandress. Luckily, she’s willing to dish: at left, one of the many photos you might receive if you sext with the punk rock porn princess.

Burning Angel founder Joanna Angel has made her career as a punk rock porn princess…but did you know she can be pretty metal as well? Well, metal enough to get naked and rock a face full of corpse paint, anyway (which is metal enough for us, really).