The enterprising folks over at Fleshlight are giving fans the opportunity to put something other than their randy cocks into the goods. The gates are up, and Alexis Texas, Asphyxia Noir, and Kayden Kross are in the running to get their snatches forever immortalized in elastomeric gel. And the pussy to prevail is up to you!

Hello to everyone on this Happy Humpday! We are smack dab in the middle of our week together and I think this calls for something special, no? I’ve had a few people tweet me and send me emails, commenting on my posts thus far and making some special requests for things they would like to see and read. A popular request has been for me to talk about my love of and involvement with yoga.

If you’re not into the idea of characterizing ladies as cats, then you can pretend that “Meow!” is an acronym that stands for Munching Everything On Women, or Mouths Eat Orifices Well, or perhaps even Making Everybody Orgasm Whoa! The choice is yours.

Not a day goes by that we don’t curse the fates for allowing Jenna Haze to retire from performing in hardcore porn. But then we remember her sizable catalogue of performances (and gifs like this!), and suddenly, well…it all just seems a little more bearable.

Last month we learned that Jenna Haze was retiring from porn–and we’ve been wondering ever since where we’d see her next. Granted, we knew she’d still be directing pornos and feature dancing…but, uh, are we the only ones who are surprised to see her popping up at a Taylor Momsen show, giving the teen rocker a lap dance?

Jenna Haze doesn’t want to pull her face from between Marie Luv’s legs, and we can’t blame her: that place is sweeter than Stevia but way more exciting. Heck, even Marie Luv wants to taste Marie Luv’s pussy (sadly, she is not that flexible).

Yesterday, Jenna Haze announced in a video that she hadn’t performed in a porn scene since last April, and that she was officially hanging up her pornstar spurs. Around the same time, Jada Fire changed her Twitter bio to read, “YEP IM RETIRED FROM PORN!! : ) BUT I WILL

Our beloved DP has finally entered the orthogonal ring, and frankly, we’re excited to see what they’ve come up with. These stills—although 2D—look way different than any we’ve seen before. Is that a good thing? Basically, we want to know how the genitals will look, because that’s all we care

Oh sure, it sounds like a joke, but trust us: Jenna’s addiction is a very serious problem. The poor girl can’t see a pair of luscious, lovely mammaries without being compelled to squeeze and grab and shake them. It’s gotten to the point where she can barely leave the house…but

We’d be worried if Digital Playground had been stealing Riley’s underwear to give to other girls. They’re probably quite clean and relatively the same size as all the others, but that’s not the point. The point is that these panties are Riley’s and everybody should respect that. But still, everybody

It’s true! We were thinking about “Just Jenna 2″ yesterday, and all of a sudden, we were reminded of this odd scene from back in 2002. The blowjob by this adorable little hotel pool really stuck with us, you know? Where could this possibly be? We want to say Florida,

You might think this movie is highly Jenna-centric, but we insist that this movie is cheating us out of some real Jenna Haze action. We envision a film in which you battle Ms. Haze in a two-hour long staring contest. But that’s not really pornographic (except for how you eventually

“Mainstream” is a funny word. To those in the indie crowd, it indicates a project that has the funding of big studios and corporations. To Sarah Palin, it indicates anyone in the news media who doesn’t agree with her. And then, of course, there are the people of Porn Valley,

Hold up, let’s get our terminology straight. On the one hand, we think it’s demeaning to have artificially enhanced breasts called “counterfeit.” On the other hand, it sounds really cool to call them that. It’s like they’re illegal or something badass! Why are Jules Jordan and Jenna Haze labeling fake

Bree Olson asked Jenna Haze if she could pass/fail the course on mammary history, and Jenna was so furious with Bree that she forced the young pornstar to attend private tutoring sessions wearing only her fishnets and a skirt. Education comes at a price, people. But Jenna is a reasonable

These days, if you’re not working two summer jobs and an unpaid internship, you’re never going to get anywhere. That’s why Jenna Haze enrolled in Tommy Gunn’s Afterschool Cock Sucking Program; she’s going to learn real world skills! Yes, to us Jenna Haze is a world renowned sexual sorceress, raising

By day, Jenna Haze gets naked (and then some) as one of the dirtiest girls in porn. By night? She gets naked as well—but she does it on a strip club stage. If you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing Jenna Haze’s stage work, well, first off, check out her

Most guys think, “Oh, I’ve come! The scene is over.” James Deen, however, says, “I think I’ll make Jenna Haze come one more time as she sucks my cock. Then the scene will be over… maybe.” Bonus point to you, James Deen, for using your own jizz as lubricant to

Photo by Ellen Stagg (staggstreet.com) Models: Jenna Haze and Masuimi Max (jennahaze.com + iamtrouble.com)

Our first reaction: what is CNBC doing playing in our sandbox? Not that we’re territorial or anything, but, you know, it’s still a bit strange. Our second reaction: these are the top twelve pornstars? Don’t get us wrong, we love each and every performer on the list. But it seems