Why Does Sexy Hotel Time Make Us Feel Sad? Toopoorforanyofthis web

We try to be mature and enjoy the sight of others having fun, but looking at various forms of smut all day every day can give you a wicked case of FOMO. We expect to feel that sort of thing about mega-babes in high concept magazines like Kele in Purple, but we also recognize the fancy hotel this was shot in and now we feel so poor.

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A Beautiful Blow-Bang

'Tis the season for vacationing, and that brings along with it the season for hotel room sex! That's gotta be one of our favorite parts of gettin' outta town. Because, yes, our bedroom has all the accoutrements that make it our comfy-cozy (and often rough-and-rowdy) sex den, but the excitement of being somewhere unfamiliar, in a big, sumptuous bed just rouses our instinct to bang ever more.

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Hotel Room Funtimes

Hey, sometimes the best part of vacation happens without leaving the confines of your hotel room. There's premium cable, delectable room service, a king-sized bed, blackout curtains, and plenty of space for good lovin'. Now, maybe with the Empire State Building or the Champs-Élysées right out your window, you know, eventually you should get out there. But there's nothing wrong with scheduling some bone-time in on your itinerary. We think it makes the whole trip go a bit more smoothly (and funly).

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We Like Where This Is Going

It's rare in life when situations, entities, matters line up perfectly. Sometimes things just... work out. Be it kismet, divine providence, or just luck, we'll take it. And if you throw some genitals into the mix, well, it's all sunshine, smiles, and rainbows. Life's a breeze!

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A Creepy Hotel Room And A New Boob Debut Moni love 23 web

Las Vegas is truly a lovely place. You can find yourself a $28 Circus Circus room, $1 shrimp cocktail, and just like that you've filled up your Uh-Oh quotient for the day. Then, when you have a little free time, Moni Love shows up and you take pictures of her freshly enhanced tits--just for the heck of it! What a beautiful city; don't drink the water.

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Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hotel Floors

We suppose with all the hubbub and blacklight-wielding paranoia surrounding the freshness of hotel comforters, the floor may well be a safer bet for setting one's naked body down and riding one out. Or... maybe not. But we like to think that, even with those crisp white sheets atop a beckoning mattress just a few feet away, this couple just couldn't even make it there. They had to fall right where their clothes did -- and, hell, that we just respect.

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The Strange, Naked Journey Of Veronica Ricci Veronica ricci 23 web

All Igor wanted to do was take some pictures of Veronica Ricci to make up for the last time he tried to, forgot his camera, and had to take some last minute shots on a roof. They tried some shots in the hotel room, weren't feeling it, went on an adventure, found a creepy driveway, and then things started getting weirder.

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Hold The Phone! We're Doing Some Hardcore Fucking Here

Whether it's the front desk calling to say your parents are here or room service saying they can't get in, you must maintain the fucking. You're compelled to. It's the most important part of a hotel stay. All other things can wait.

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No One's The Wiser To That Dick In Your Ass! 20120417ff3 web

To the outside world, you're just a couple gazing off your hotel balcony to the pretty scene below. But, wait! On closer inspection -- why is that guy standing directly behind her? And why are they so... bouncy?

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Tanlines And Fucking: A Day At The Beach Crop20120325ff1 web

After a day spent lounging in the sunlight, your skin is rosy and warm, and you've got sand in all manner of places. Back at the hotel, instead of cleaning up, why not take a quick fuck and make sure that sand gets everywhere?

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These Girls Are Going To Be Threesome Stars Xlarge 66093679475bebd4e6f1ea694b449094 web

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We Thought ATP Meant All-Terrain Pussy Xlarge bf08c247b3bbd1c18bbb7c5f928a68b5 web

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The Big Fat 0 Xlarge 3caf8410a3fc12ae8e777b93f8f12a9d web

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There's A First Time For (Soaking) Everything Xlarge 90978c2eaa88c1cdfce4a460ca04a84c web

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Plan Your Hotel Sex In Advance Xlarge screen shot 2011 09 21 at 2.17.38 pm web

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